Of things that won't happen.

What are your fears? Ideas? Hints? to coping with ED. What helps you with your mental game? How are relationships affected?
Al1962
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 3:56 pm
Location: Michigan

Of things that won't happen.

Postby Al1962 » Thu Jun 01, 2023 11:20 am

So with the possible failure of Sildenafil I just was feeling sorry for myself.
Maybe Sildenafil could work for penetrative sex if I only tried once in two weeks. I'm not sure since my male FWB's is feeling closer to God and I don't currently have a female available to try with.
I can't start something with someone, especially the younger person I have had my eyes on with out proof of ability. I do not care to work so hard at self gratification as I get discouraged by lack of fun. Not a perfect erection and not so easy to ejaculate if I even can.
If I were in a relationship with a woman I always enjoyed sex as spontaneous. A couple times a day if the mood were right and sex when going to bed and waking up wanting sex if we slept together. The pills could do that 5 yrs ago. only wake up with good morning wood maybe once a month now. I have taken pills and woke up with nothing.
I'm looking for a Dr. and will discuss pills for maintenance and injections for a serious hard on. I'm glad this is available yet you can't inject often enough to keep some younger women happy or even sex at night and sex in the morning.
Trying to choose a Dr is about ridiculous.
Born 1962. Married 21 yrs. Single since 2018. Diabetic ED has taken the fun. Began daily Cialis 2.5mg and hesitant to find/disappoint a new partner. Song, Beatles,"Let It Be".

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Of things that won't happen.

Postby Lost Sheep » Thu Jun 01, 2023 6:10 pm

I sympathize with your dilemma. Starting a relationship (or even initiating sex in a current relationship) can be daunting if your erection is unreliable. My perennial advice is to let your partner (current or brand-new) know that you are attracted, interested in sex but sometimes cannot perform. And let a frank discussion proceed from there. I have found that women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected, desired, loved and safe. I expect that most men feel much the same way.

Aside from that advice, I also advice you to get a VED (Vacuum Erection Device) to use for therapy (not for sex). Getting an erection inside a vacuum tube emulates the nocturnal erections men usually get and provides blood flow to your penile tissues, keeping them oxygeneated and elastic. This is WITHOUT using constriction rings. There are a couple of protocols mentioned here in Franktalk. My preferred is: Pump of to an erection, hold inside the vacuum chamber for 30 seconds or so, then release the vacuum, returning your penis to its flaccid state for 10-30 seconds and repeat this for 30 minutes once or twice a day.

This may also make (if you get an implant) insertion of the implant easier for the surgeon and recovery a little easier for you.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Al1962
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 3:56 pm
Location: Michigan

Re: Of things that won't happen.

Postby Al1962 » Fri Jun 02, 2023 8:38 pm

Thank you Mr. Lost Sheep.
All good advice. It is scary how once things start to fail it seems to effect your life more than I thought it would/should. Talking to a lady even under good circumstances is not easy for me but it is better than just giving up which I have felt like.
Funny thing is I am so worried about telling a new person yet my ex wife once said that "if I can't do it without pills then she doesn't want it". To her I think it must have felt like a personal failure thing on her part instead of a mechanical failure on mine.
I had actually just started to use Sildenafil before she wanted a divorce. I was afraid of not being able to perform so I took Sildenafil without telling her because I was afraid to tell her the truth that I was becoming less able.
Born 1962. Married 21 yrs. Single since 2018. Diabetic ED has taken the fun. Began daily Cialis 2.5mg and hesitant to find/disappoint a new partner. Song, Beatles,"Let It Be".

Martin6469
Posts: 606
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2020 12:22 pm
Location: St. Louis, USA

Re: Of things that won't happen.

Postby Martin6469 » Mon Jun 05, 2023 5:06 pm

Good thing you're rid of that dumb bunny! As Lost Sheep says, your next woman is going to be supportive - as long as you follow his instructions. And if you don't get your "younger person," think of me: my wife is my age, 78, and we have a good sex life with sildenafil + injections. She has some wrinkles, so what - she does perfect hormone replacement therapy and her Tunnel of Love is as tight and juicy as when we were dating, in our forties. A contemporary woman, not a girl, is more likely to understand how we guys decline, and how we can use modern medicine to slow it and have a reasonable sex life.

When 100mg sildenafil started to fail me, my urologist added Trimix as an adjunct. Sure, the spontaneity isn't the same, but I still ask her, "How about a bang!" and it's just a 12-minute delay until I've injected and swallowed the sildenafil and she's in my clutches getting foreplay - and you know women like some long foreplay. Another 15 minutes and I'm nice and stiff. Study the "Injections" topic and you'll see hints like keeping pre-filled syringes in the refrigerator. Injections are a little tricky, but a month of twice-a-week solo injection practice with sildenafil will give you the confidence to approach women with the self-assurance that you can get hard.

So call the largest urology practice you can find and ask for a men's sexual health urologist. (Many urologists are not interested in treating ED because there's often a psychological aspect.) If you don't at first find this specialist specialist, go to another practice.

You're depressed, so get testosterone measured immediately (see my signature). I discovered my low T through inconsistent erections like you describe, at age 54.

Keep in touch.
Age 79 in 2024. On testosterone replacement due to hypothalamus malfunction. (Attention depressed guys: low testosterone is a cause.) Healthy health nut but ED due to getting old. Like to keep enough cardiovascular ability to thrust for 30 min.

Lester33
Posts: 285
Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2017 9:43 am
Location: Indiana

Re: Of things that won't happen.

Postby Lester33 » Mon Jun 05, 2023 6:16 pm

Martin6469 great advice and yes my wife has and still is supportive of me. And I have many health problems but thankfully ED is not one now.
IPP on 6/22/2018 by Dr. Perito, Miami, FL.
22cm Coloplast Titan, 2 RTE
Testosterone therapy
Cancer free eight years, married fifty one years, wonderful sex life

Al1962
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 3:56 pm
Location: Michigan

Re: Of things that won't happen.

Postby Al1962 » Tue Jun 13, 2023 3:47 pm

Thank you all. Good straight forward and positive.
Born 1962. Married 21 yrs. Single since 2018. Diabetic ED has taken the fun. Began daily Cialis 2.5mg and hesitant to find/disappoint a new partner. Song, Beatles,"Let It Be".

Al1962
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 3:56 pm
Location: Michigan

Re: Of things that won't happen.

Postby Al1962 » Sun Jun 18, 2023 4:15 pm

Not 100% of the time but nice when it happens.
The night before I took 20mg of Sildenafil at 3am and had an erection during night and very impressive (in my mind) morning wood. Last night I took 20mg at 11pm and had erections a couple times through the night but barely morning wood that was gone before I actually got out of bed. With out a companion I could not say if penetration was possible. I rarely masturbate since it is normally a failed attempt.
Born 1962. Married 21 yrs. Single since 2018. Diabetic ED has taken the fun. Began daily Cialis 2.5mg and hesitant to find/disappoint a new partner. Song, Beatles,"Let It Be".


Return to “Emotional and Mental Support”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests