FrankTalk.org

Anxiety is probably the #1 cause of ED but there is still a lot of prejudice and ignorance on this subject.

Yes, anxiety is a normal biological reaction and it is easily treatable but don't underestimate it: it may have a tremendous impact on your sex life and in my case, I had to battle this curse for decades.

Here's an important tip: if you need to improve your sexual performance, try to remove all anxiety sources from your life, even if they don't seem 'sexual'. Toxic people are the #1 source of anxiety, so remove them from your life ASAP. Your entire life, incl. your sex life and mental health, will improve dramatically.

I speak from personal experience: I cut ties with a couple of toxic family members recently and my life is now pure bliss. I can't believe I didn't do it sooner!

Family is important but your mental health comes first.

Flavio wrote:(edited for focus)
I speak from personal experience: I cut ties with a couple of toxic family members recently and my life is now pure bliss. I can't believe I didn't do it sooner!

Family is important but your mental health comes first.

True, true.

Once you have removed sources of conflict/anxiety and you have quite feeding the dysfunctional relationship and healed yourself (close relationship with a toxic person can damage yourself) healing of the relationship is POSSIBLE.

Continuing a relationship with a toxic person is often a stable relationship with no motivation for change (on the part of the toxic person, at least). Changing the dynamic of a relationship can give rise to such motivation (and cutting off is one way to change a dynamic).

Lost Sheep wrote:[...]

Continuing a relationship with a toxic person is often a stable relationship with no motivation for change (on the part of the toxic person, at least). Changing the dynamic of a relationship can give rise to such motivation (and cutting off is one way to change a dynamic).

I'm reading this and thinking of the Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard trial. How on earth he managed to put up with that woman for so long is beyond me. Even his kids warned him against her!

I am also reminded of what I read in my research on clinically defined "Narcissistic personality disorder". Such people, even when you successfully cut off from them keep ties and quite often show up again in one's life. They keep a "stable" of past and future victims. It helps feed their disorder and is a hedge against being narcissistic in a vacuum (which, of course, is painfully distressing to a genuine narcissist).


(It is helpful to remember that a real friend will help you move. A TRUE friend will help you move a body.) This is NOT advice. Just something I heard somewhere.

When I was dating in my young single days, I often met unhappy girls whose families were the trouble. So I told them how I hugely improved my life by disowning my parents at the age of twenty, and advised them to do the same, parents, siblings, whomever. They always had trouble doing this - I guess it's a feminine aspect of their lives, but we guys will have no trouble taking Flavio's wise advice.

How has a lifetime of dumping negative acquaintances, "friends," and family members turned out for me? GREAT!

Martin6469 wrote: [...] How has a lifetime of dumping negative acquaintances, "friends," and family members turned out for me? GREAT!

Well said, I couldn't agree more.

I've wasted so much time and mental health with toxic relatives, today I wish had dumped them sooner.

I have nothing against forgiveness but if you value your mental health, keep bad people away.

One of the reasons why I put up with so much **** for so many years has to do with my Christian beliefs: 'honor thy family' and all that BS.

Guess what? Family are the people that love you and make you feel good, it has nothing to do with biology.