Am I trying too hard?

[cwatt1]

I just need a little emotional support, I think. I'm pretty new here and have already found great comfort from you guys. I'm 62 and my wife is 63. We always had a pretty good sex life until a few years ago when I started taking an anti-depressant (an SSRI called citalopram). As with many SSRI's, it impacted my ability to attain orgasm. I've since gotten off the anti-depressant, but now I have ED. It's probably mostly organic, but I think there's a psychological component to it, too. I can get hard (with more difficulty than before) but tend to lose it when I try and penetrate my wife. I was very upset and in tears a couple of days ago, and made the mistake of telling my wife I thought it was partly psychological. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but I realized this morning how that might have made her feel. So this morning I went through the whole history with her and assured her of my belief that I simply have performance anxiety now -- I really think I want so badly to be able to penetrate her and to climax inside her that it's turned into a vicious cycle -- the harder I try the worse it becomes, and the more upset I get. Viagra, Cialis, Staxyn haven't been much help. Plus, I've never been completely comfortable talking with my wife about sex. She has never liked oral or really anything but "mainstream" sex.

I'm hoping that either injections or a VED pump will restore my confidence and make things easier for both of us.

I'd be interested in any thoughts.

Blessings,
Cary

[Jollis]

Cary,

I share similar problems. I have suffered from ED to some degree since in my early 40's. I have been married to my present wife for fifteen years and have never had much good sex with her. Not her fault. When we were first married I could penetrate but would have to hurry to cum before I lost my erection. We have gone through all the pills and they no longer work. I am currently seeing a urologist and have an appt with him tomorrow. Wife wants to go with me to ask questions. That is good.

Wife enjoys oral, but stops early on me because she is afraid I will cum in her mouth. So we do a lot of masturbation. She nor I neither like the pump. So we are looking at possibility of implant. However, we have both agreed that I need to have doc do tests to try to determine cause. It could be psychological because of terrible first marriage.

Good luck

John

[cwatt1]

Good luck tomorrow, John. Hope your appointment goes well -- let us know!

[trimix60]

Hi Gary- I have suffered from PE all my life and my erections would only last a couple of minutes once I got started. This did not encourage much satisfaction for my partner !!!!

Once I started using trimix and mentally new that I could keep going after ejaculation, everything changed. I was able to relax....enjoy myself and not worry about it and I am making some progress when not using the trimix...I think in my case, it is all mental....

Trimix is a wonderful thing....try it and you will never turn back.

Good luck to you !!!!

Cheers,

Curt

[cwatt1]

Thanks, Curt. I've heard a lot of great things about Trimix, both here and elsewhere. When I first joined the forum a few days ago, Paul echoed your sentiments about Trimix almost word for word. I'm going to talk with my urologist about it. Plus, there's a compounding pharmacy not far from me. I think I"ll investigate VED's, too; my insurance will cover a medical grade one.

Cary

[rschweiger]

Hey Cary,I feel your pain ED is cruel. It steels everything from you,you manhood,your confidence......I hated it.
I suffered from 37 to 41 got implanted 8/7/12 and cldnt be happier.
Eventually there is always a psychological component to ED......and after 4 years of suffering I chose the chose the right road for me,didn't choose injections,just needed the nightmare to end, cldnt take the torture anymore so I jumped feet first w/the implant,but many guys love their injections
I kinda agree w/a video i saw on dr eid site,I wish they wld mention implant and injections as a beginning point and not last resort.if we have ED let's fix it and stop playing patty cake with the other bullshit.fix it before we get to those dark places,before we lose that connection w/our lovers,etc.
Sorry for rambleing, best wishes on your journey Cary.
Rich.

[cwatt1]

Hi Rich,

Thanks so much for the encouragement, and I'm glad your decision was the right one for you. Yes, ED is frustrating as hell. I'm looking for some answers/solutions before it gets any worse!

I hope your implant is giving you the peace and enjoyment you so deserve.

Cary