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So over the last 5 years, I have dealt with ED (I'm 44 yrs). It has been a bit of a struggle, but the wife and I have been able to work with it. Viagra or Cialis work, but only to an extent. If I lay down horizontally, I can't maintain, but still my wife and I have worked with this. I also take medicine for high blood pressure, but this came after the ED, but may still be complicating it.

My struggle has been over the last year. We were having sex of some kind at least twice a week, but then my wife had two surgeries, the removal of a Fallopian tube and then a hernia repair. These both led to extensive recovery times, which also in turn seemed to kill my wife's desire to have sex. Then, she has started suffering from migraines and most recently a severe case of bronchitis with complications from asthma. This has led to a year of almost no sexual interaction, which has just added more to the depression I feel about not being able to get a regular, natural erection.

I have felt like I have been so alone the last year. My wife and I are close and do love each other, but I think she has lost her libido from being so sick and in pain, and I am losing mine from lack of having any real intimacy with her. While when I was younger pornography and masturbation was just fine, I'm not a kid any more and desire more than that. Plus, who wants to use an expensive pill to just masturbate?

Going outside of my marriage is not an option, nor do I feel like another woman would deal with my ED like my wife has been willing to. Nor do I even have the confidence to even approach another woman if I wanted to. I'm just feeling stuck, alone and frustrated. I've recently had some tests done and the doctor just thinks it is a complication of my high blood pressure, meds and now just finding out I was born with one kidney.

Well, that's about it. Just needed to get it off of my chest...

Brother,
We Frank talk brothers know all to well the devastation caused by ED. You will see that we all have been where you are now. Please take time to read our posts and journals. We join you in your journey. Take care brother. You are not alone. We're here for you!
Donnie

Hey... I don't mean to be offensive but do you mind if I ask how can you only discover now that you were just born with one kidney?

I never had any problems that were kidney related. About a year ago, I started getting an occasional ache in my right testicle, so I went to see a urologist about it. He ordered a lower abdominal x-ray and that is when they discovered it. Believe me, it was a bit shocking. But it also explains some health issues like my high blood pressure that can only be controlled with medication. Fortunately, while the kidney is a little enlarged, that is ordinary when you only have one kidney doing the work of two, and it is a healthy kidney so I can be thankful for that.

Good afternoon,
I'm around your age and most of the guys I've talked to here are 10+ years older than me - makes me feel they are me 10-20 years from now. I'm actually beginning to think something is quickly going wrong with me though. I finally built up the courage to speak to my primary physician about 10 days ago, and I'm feeling he's not really taking this issue too seriously - maybe because of my age? He's also always more focused on my weight/ blood pressure/ cholesterol, along with depression issues after I recently lost my father, brother, and sister, along with a recent ugly divorce. Blood/ urine tests confirmed a UTI, so he has me taking antibiotics on top of the mountain of other pills he's prescribed me! I have another appointment next week and hoping he'll be willing to discuss options then. I don't know if some of this is only emotional for me, but I haven't tried intercourse at all for almost a year; I'm so afraid of the embarrassment that could happen. I understand your concerns with your wife as well, as that may have been a factor in my own divorce.
Good luck to you,
David

Dudes,
PCPs mean well, but you need to find a compassionate urologist. There are many provable treatments for ED. Get this fixed and get your sex life back!
We're here for you.
Donnie

I can relate to being young with ED. Hard to find a doctor who takes you serious. If a doctor does not, dump him for another. There are many options for ED but some work, some are so so, some don't and some have side effects hard to bear. Sometimes it takes a combo of things to make it work. The 2 years before my implant I would pump to plump up my penis, inject it, then pump it again to get hard and I was taking 20 mg of Cialis 2 times per day on top of that. I also have high blood pressure. There is a new product in process for approval by Boston Scientific for high blood pressure. It seem that bp is controlled by the kidneys. Good luck. You are not alone. Find a doc you are comfortable with. In urology that is sometimes hard. I met one last month that is amazing. Wish I had met him years ago but he is fresh out of school. He is friendly and discusses matters. Most won't.