The Candy Commerical

[Thomas]

I'd like to share with everyone another mind exercise that I used to get though the early days post RP surgery. I also have to credit a good friend of mine, "Jay", for teaching me this particular mind game; (Jay also had a RP, but was six months ahead of me).

So, after my RP, ED, orgasm issues, and incontinence became a part of my life and I struggled with each of them. I would put every event or episode under the microscope and over examine it (a very negative habit). In other words, I would take each event as a measurement of my progress, and when something didn't perform as desired, I would beat myself up and struggle with my emotions.

So, in speaking with "Jay", he shared with me a pretty interesting mind exercise; remember the candy commercial for Almond Joy Mounds, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't"? Well, your body doesn't always perform as you think it should and it's not necessarily a sign of failure. Sometimes the meds work well, sometimes not! Sometimes your orgasm is great, sometimes not! Sometimes your urine leaks, and sometimes not! And when it didn't work the way I thought it should, I would really beat myself up. Well, by teaching me this particular mind exercise, it helped me work through these down events.

So, when I take the meds but still don't get an erection, I'd re-channel my thoughts by stating to myself, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't"! When I would have IC with my wife, but couldn't reach orgasm in my post RP world, I'd state, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't!. Funny, when you actually say this to yourself, you realize that you are really singing it (well, it's a song you know), and anytime you sing, you feel good!

I remember one particular event where I was having a hard time brining myself to orgasm post RP while having IC with my wife, I rolled off of her and just lay there silent staring at the ceiling... my wife gently put her hand on my chest and sang the candy song substituting the word "you" with the word "we"... boy I love that gal!

"Sometimes we feel like a nut, sometimes we don't"!

This little song has really helped me get through some tough times!

- Tom

[Cajun Jeff]

Tom: Thank for this post. I love it. Can I have permission to copy it and send to a friend.

Cajun Jeff

[Thomas]

Being that Jay shared this with me, I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing with everyone. Hope it helps.