Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

[laevgerg]

Good discussion - glad I found it. After prostatectomy, i can only get about 10% hard. I can use my hand and orgasm, but unfortunately, my wife, who is happy to accommodate, can't get the technique exactly right. Also, it takes awhile so she gets tired. She is willing to give oral, but it takes so long, it causes her neck pain. I have tried various male toys, but they seem to all be designed for hard ones so nothing I've tried is very satisfactory.

I did discover one thing, and many of you will be glad to hear about this. There is a device called VibErect. (No, this is not an advertisement!) It was recently approved (by someone for something) and requires a prescription. it is designed to help men with ED get an erection. It can also be used to bring on an orgasm. I just got one very recently but may be returning it.

Description: You can just google it and learn all the details, so I'll just be brief here. It's a fairly large, Y-shaped thing with replaceable pads that close on the top & bottom of your dickhead. Both pads vibrate. There is a control for speed. (I only use full-speed-ahead). Instead of just holding it on the head, I clasp the pads just below the head and on my remaining foreskin. Then I can move it up & down like wanking while it vibrates.

The bad: It doesn't make my dead dick come to life. And as a masturbator, for me, it's no more pleasurable than using my hand and a bit more awkward.

The good: It does accommodate a flaccid penis, and my wife can use it on me without getting tired.

The ugly: It costs $300 !!!

So, i really would like to return it if I could find an inexpensive toy that worked as well. Any ideas?

[Cajun Jeff]

If it is the vibrations that are getting you off you might want to concider a barber hand vibrator for you wife to use on you.

Cajun Jeff

[thunderball]

I like the Fleshlight quite a bit. For one thing you can put a semi into it, and then adjust the amount of suction you get on the out strokes by turning the end cap of the fleshlight. So it will actually pull more blood into your penis to make it harder.

The orgasms are very strong, the best I have had from masturbating. It does take several uses until they kick in, basically getting used to the fact that you are making love to a piece of rubber.

Most important thing: Do not buy a smooth insert. Next to no stimulation. You want a textured insert like Wonderwave, speed bump, and so one.

[gbeard60]

I had robotic prostate surgery four months ago, and it's been interesting learning about my new dick. Masturbating used to take a few minutes basically one-handed; it now takes quite a bit longer and both hands -- one at the base of my cock and one focusing on the head. My nerves are in relatively good shape, but the ED is there. It helps if I pump for a while to get a semi and then take it from there. I used to masturbate to photos and stories, but now it's mostly videos. I read a message from a guy on another site who said he was fixated on cumshots in porn now that he produced none of his own, and I'm pretty much in the same situation. I can get it on with my wife with the help of Viagra, the pump and a cock ring, but frankly, it does more for her than it does for me;my joy in that is in making her reach orgasm(s). Masturbation seems a lot more pleasurable.

[Crazyjohn46]

Hi,
I have a similar situation as do some other members.
My wife has no inerest in sex. I am 77 she is 75, married 57 years.
My only release is masturbation. I am implanted,so no problem getting it up. I do have a floppy head but am still able to orgasam.

Just wondering if anyone has any recommendations on masturbators , anal toys ,etc.( don't have a prostate) or anything else that would help improve the technique other than my hand?

I had prostate surgery eight years ago followed by radiation. I'm totally ED'd. I've been using a Cobra Libre vibrator: It does the job even when limp. It has a number of vibration speeds and varying patterns (slow/fast, etc). You don't have to climax to enjoy it. Best sex toy I've found other than Venus 2000 but a lot cheaper.

[dheberling]

I was 52 when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had it removed. It has been almost 2 years since then progress in the erection department has been slow. I discovered the flaccid dick orgasm a few months after my surgery. It surprised the hell out of me and it blew my mind. My method of stimulation is to beat the head of the penis against my thigh while imagining that I am having my way with a curvacious vixen who is begging for some hard dick. It took awhile before my wife and I got into sync about what to do about our sex life. While I was grieving the loss of sexual ability, she sailed on and brought toys into the bedroom. It took me some time before I realized that she was not going to save me. We had not talked about where our sex life was headed. It became like too strangers walking around in the house. I finally broached the subject out of desperation.

She could not understand what I was or was not capable of unless I told her. Our sex life had to change to one that focused more on her. I was certainly happy to comply. She understands her role in my recovery and she drives me mad with her ministrations on my poor dick. I have yet to learn how to relax enough for Mr. Happy to get and maintain an erection. So far, that only comes from thigh banging. I am much more relaxed about our sexual relationship. While I patiently encourage progress in penile rehabilitation, I realize that it may never come back all of the way. I can accept that.

[Anonymous1]

In discussions I have had on the subject of masturbating without an erection, I have found that guys who have a foreskin (like I do) can more easily masturbate when soft (just pulling the foreskin back and forth) than men without a foreskin (who usually need to rub their hand up and down the head).

[satopper]

Hi Guys--
I can certainly understand the problem. I had the traditional RRP a bit over 6 years ago and it was probably a couple months or so after the surgery when I finally got hard enough to masturbate. I understand that I am quite lucky that I can still get erect and have sex. However, there have been times that I get hard and have stimulation (on line, or fantasies, or books/pictures) but I am not quite [i]fully[i] hard. I found it really weird that I could not get completely hard no matter how much I desired; however, I just kept on stroking and eventually did have orgasm. This happens occasionally and I am used to it now, so I do know that you can achieve "completion" without being completely hard.

[Peter1951]

I had robotic prostate surgery two weeks ago. As a result my dick has shrunk to minuscule proportions.
I found this site when researching ED and ways to overcome it.
This post was very interesting and I decided to try it, purely in the interests of science of course.
It took quite a while but to my surprise it did eventually work. The difficult part was getting a grip on such a small tool.
Intensity was about the same but was strange with no ejaculation and a soft cock.
Like others here video worked for me in this instance and I now have an interest in seeing cumshots where previously this didn't interest me much.
A couple of members have suggested to me to use a vacuum device which I had not previously considered. I will follow this up.

Peter

[limpjoint]

Never thought I'd be included in this category, but here I am. jerking off with a limp dick. I did have prostate surgery and am now impotent. I use pills sometimes and sometimes inject myself with caverject. My wife does enjoy sex and she freely uses vibrators. While she's playing I jerk off, sometimes more pleasurable than others.One thing we practice is "frank talk". That's correct. While I play with myself, she mocks out and ridicules my limp dick. May sound odd, but I love it and I was the one who asked her to do so. She wasn't so willing at first, but she's getting very good at it. The more she tells me of my "useless, soft, dick", the more I like it. I love the ridicule and I'm not so sensitive about it.