FrankTalk.org

Just 6 weeks out from surgery. Used to love having oral sex but now I am completely incontinent and the wife tastes urine and I never know when I will leak. Any suggestions on solutions so we can continue this part of our sexual life?

First, give it time. I had my surgery in November of 2009 and it took me three months to get full bladder control, although even for a while after, if my bladder is not empty I could leak urine during orgasm. It is helpful to empty your bladder ahead of time; plan ahead and don't have much liquid, then pee before you get intimate. You could also use a condom until you get good urine control.

bbbear2199,

I would suggest you start a regiman of kegels to strengthen the inner muscles that control stopping and starting flow. Just put "kegels" in the Search window of this page and follow the links to previously written text on this same issue. Takes about 8 weeks to begin to show improvement but worth the trip. Improves your sex life also. Have her do them with you. You will not regret that either. Make a time of it, can't hurt, might help.

Jim

thanks for the help--will try a condom and am doing the kegels--still not much change--but also not 8 weeks out either!!

Hi

I am not incontinent but even than if I get excited I tend to leak and oral sex is out of the question but here is my solution. I use a pump and put the ring on and then in 69 position my wife gives me oral sex and I use a vibrator on here. For her the orgasm is mind blowing; she says she sees colours and I can last a long time and even if I orgasm before her she can continue to give me oral sex until she reaches her orgasm. Try it and do not underestimate the power of the pump. It produces an erection as big and as long for (up to 30 minutes) as you need and as often as you like. What else can a couple want. In some ways my radical prostatectomy has given a different dimension to our sex life. we are a very young looking couple (75 and 70), married for 48 years.