FrankTalk.org

After many years of great sex with my wife. Slowed down by Peyronies. Added in Viagra/Cialis. Was still going with a bent pecker, and making it work, more or less. Got a Titan implant. Now I am a rock star. My wife is as cute as ever. Sexy as before. She is always ready to go, but now, I have to think about having sex.

She is asking me that we make love, and we do. Still great sex, but I don't have the desire to initiate sex. I want that feeling back. Is there a libidinous or horny pill that brings me back to wanting to initiate sex?

Had the operation on July 7. Recovery was unpleasant. Am I still reeling with the recovery? The implant is working very well, but the desire to initiate sex is weak.

What should I do to get the desire back?

The implant itself should not have taken any of your sexual desires away. Desire for sex comes from the mind. All I can offer is think about it more often, remember times of past that were hot, and keep loving your wife like before.
Some may say to have your testosterone levels checked too.

Napier wrote:After many years of great sex with my wife. Slowed down by Peyronies. Added in Viagra/Cialis. Was still going with a bent pecker, and making it work, more or less. Got a Titan implant. Now I am a rock star. My wife is as cute as ever. Sexy as before. She is always ready to go, but now, I have to think about having sex.

She is asking me that we make love, and we do. Still great sex, but I don't have the desire to initiate sex. I want that feeling back. Is there a libidinous or horny pill that brings me back to wanting to initiate sex?

Had the operation on July 7. Recovery was unpleasant. Am I still reeling with the recovery? The implant is working very well, but the desire to initiate sex is weak.

What should I do to get the desire back?

pt101 I heard is good for increasing libido, but apparently has nasty side effects at times

Napier wrote:After many years of great sex with my wife. Slowed down by Peyronies. Added in Viagra/Cialis. Was still going with a bent pecker, and making it work, more or less. Got a Titan implant. Now I am a rock star. My wife is as cute as ever. Sexy as before. She is always ready to go, but now, I have to think about having sex.

She is asking me that we make love, and we do. Still great sex, but I don't have the desire to initiate sex. I want that feeling back. Is there a libidinous or horny pill that brings me back to wanting to initiate sex?

Had the operation on July 7. Recovery was unpleasant. Am I still reeling with the recovery? The implant is working very well, but the desire to initiate sex is weak.

What should I do to get the desire back?

Do you think there may be a psychological component to your reduction in libido (I am guessing, based on a similar drop in my libido, desire to initiate, sense of urgency and frequency of ideation, post-implant).

My E.D. put a damper on my desire to initiate. Repeated failures have a "training" effect.

And I wish to acknowledge OldGuy's post. Much more compact than mine but on a similar track.

Old Guy wrote:The implant itself should not have taken any of your sexual desires away. Desire for sex comes from the mind. All I can offer is think about it more often...(edited for focus)

Before implant, if and when I got an erection, there was a sense of urgency about it. "Use it or lose it - quick, before it melts!" Now that I can get an erection any time, that sense of urgency is gone because sex is able to be had any time it is convenient. And if convenience of the moment is not high, waiting involves no loss of opportunity. So, that drive to have sex is not as fully fueled as before.

Do you think that might be the case with you?

There are probably dozens of "mind tricks" to trigger you to initiate sex. First of all, be sure your wife is receptive and eager. Then engage in some fantasies. She is sure to be eager to play along, I will guess.

Personally (once I got past the hormonally charged and emotionally selfish age of puberty), I have always put my partner's enjoyment and orgasms at a high priority. I recommend you focus on that. You no longer have to concentrate on maintaining an erection or holding back on your own orgasm, either. (Your erection can survive beyond the refractory period now). So enjoying her orgasms and pleasure is now something to add you your own joy even more than you ever could before.

You can make a "date night". You don't have to think about who will initiate sex. You know it is coming and so will she. It does not have to be rote or scheduled if you apply some imagination. You can start with a romantic dinner, dancing, movie, etc and just go with the flow and culminate in bed.

Role playing, if you can get into that, is enjoyed by many couples. Pirate and princess. Pizza delivery man and customer (suddenly discovering she hasn't enough cash for a tip). Prostitute and customer (and remember, genders can go either way-you can be a gigolo as well as she can be a hooker), etc.

You could, just for a change of pace surprise her with an impromptu "quickie" in a safe place. You don't have to be "in the mood" to initiate. Just decide that you will do it. Not unlike bringing home flowers for no reason. Just a "fake it 'tl you make it" sort a thing. One scenario: Come home, grab her hand and lead her into the bedroom and start gently taking her clothes off. If she is not in the mood, of course, you can stop. But likely she will express surprise and unencumbered glee.

Your implant has provided you with a golden opportunity. Your libido may be flagging, but your ABILITY is truly astounding now. Just add some imagination and power through. Your wife and your pecker will be the more thankful for it.

Thank you, Lost Sheep. Sensitive and thoughtful response.

I just realized that I am only in the fifth week of recovery since surgery. Certainly working very well, but still getting used to it!

Napier wrote:Thank you, Lost Sheep. Sensitive and thoughtful response.

I just realized that I am only in the fifth week of recovery since surgery. Certainly working very well, but still getting used to it!

You are most welcome, Napier.

In the days before my implant (even while I had E.D. killing my erections), my penis was a barometer of my sexual desire. Feeling an erection coming on (or, in later years, just weak engorgement) signaled to my conscious brain that my unconscious brain was sexually aroused. The two awarenesses fed upon each other, generating a feeding frenzy.

Well, maybe that overstates the case, but you get the idea.

Being able to have have an (implant-made) erection without that self-reinforcing cycle of feedback requires paying attention to other signals to fuel libido and desire. (My girlfriend has pointed out that my nipples engorge when I am aroused - something I never paid any attention to at all before.) In that way, you can generate new feedback loops.

Generating some mental signals independent of your body's autonomic responses will serve you well, too. Practice intellectually deciding to be aroused. I believe it is possible that behaving aroused is likely to create arousal (and libido) in a sympathetic auto-response.

Here is one testimonial on the efficacy of behavior creating feeling (rather than the other way around): I was SCUBA diving in the Gulf of Siam during jellyfish season and found myself swimming back to the dive boat in the middle of a school of them. (Not particularly dangerous ones, but their stings were painful.) I had run out of air in my tank, so was on the surface. As I swam, I would spot one and change course to avoid it. Then spot another and change course again. It occurred to me that if anyone on the dive boat saw me, they would think I was in trouble and panicking. It also occurred to me that my rapid course changes FELT like panic and that feeling started to become real, though I had no feeling of fear at all; just inconvenience. So, I gave up on trying to avoid the jellyfish (which was not working very well anyway) and simply swam straight to the boat, accepting the stings along the way as just part of the price to pay to get back to the boat.

The point of that story is that behavior can create emotion/feeling almost as well as emotions/feelings can create behaviors. The lesson I wish to convey is that you should relax, behave aroused and your emotions will likely follow. Especially since you don't have to worry any more about your penis not behaving aroused.

P.S. The idea that panic-LIKE behavior could actually create panic was foreign to me and I would not have believed it had I not experienced it. The idea that aroused, libidinous behavior could generate libido in you (instead of the other way around) might be similarly foreign to you. And I would share your skepticism but for the fact that I have seen it in other venues as well. Bravery in the face of fear in well documented in war zones. One decides to be fearless and the feeling follows. So, if you decide to BE libidinous with your (trusted) mate, you WILL be. It is a chicken and egg thing. Which comes first is unimportant. The important thing is that the two of you make omelettes.

I think Lost Sheep gets to the heart of things here. Viewing sex as an opportunity to please your partner, that is the solution.

But if you REALLY are looking for medication, PT-141 (Bremelanotide) is the closest thing to a “horny” medication. It can be taken as a injection or a nasal spray.
Caveat, results and side effects vary widely from person to person.

I’ve taken it as an injection a few times. About 45 minutes after taking it I feel a bit flush and a little “off”. Queasy is too strong a word. I just don’t feel great. But about 2 or 3 hours later that feeling has passed and I feel SUPER horny.

A dose on the higher end of the suggested range had me SUPER horny for about 16 hours. I fucked or jacked off 5 times in those 16 hours. I woke up twice during the night grinding my cock into the mattress. It was like being 18yo again.

But I think Lost Sheep’s answer is the right one.

GoodWood wrote:I think Lost Sheep gets to the heart of things here. Viewing sex as an opportunity to please your partner, that is the solution.

But if you REALLY are looking for medication, PT-141 (Bremelanotide) is the closest thing to a “horny” medication. It can be taken as a injection or a nasal spray.
Caveat, results and side effects vary widely from person to person.

I’ve taken it as an injection a few times. About 45 minutes after taking it I feel a bit flush and a little “off”. Queasy is too strong a word. I just don’t feel great. But about 2 or 3 hours later that feeling has passed and I feel SUPER horny.

A dose on the higher end of the suggested range had me SUPER horny for about 16 hours. I fucked or jacked off 5 times in those 16 hours. I woke up twice during the night grinding my cock into the mattress. It was like being 18yo again.

But I think Lost Sheep’s answer is the right one.

+1

"Old Guy" is right, get testosterone measured. At our age low T is not unusual, and it can creep up on us (see my signature).

Much to think about from Lost Sheep; all new to me.

I really wish there was a Horny pill for women....