Cocoon: The Movie
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2023 11:27 am
Who saw the movie "Cocoon"?
I have always remembered that movie and how in one scene an old fellow having rediscovered his youth was talking to the stubborn holdout about the "possibilities....about the things they could do again....about SEX!". And with that, he disappeared out the window entering into a new world, rediscovered.
I feel like that guy who has rediscovered something lost. The ability to have confidence. To have sex. And for sure, the willingness!
I've read several posts on this thread about guys whose partners have little interest for reasons both psychic and organic, and for those gentlemen, my heart goes out to you. You are here writing because you are struggling with the fact that now you CAN have sex again, with the love of your life, you want to go for it! And she is lukewarm or minimally interested. Some of the replies i've read seem to be spot on: it's about communication. And in reality, getting real, expressing in no uncertain terms what you hope for and want, can be so difficult even with a partner you've been with for many years. You'd think it'd be easier, right? After all, haven't you raised the kids, weathered the storms, stayed together? But why is it so hard to lay it out there with our most raw fantasies with the person we're supposed to be able to be most vulnerable with?
I was married first time around, 24 years, to a kind and beautiful woman. She was great in bed, as long as it followed "her script". Her body was heavenly. Tall and slender, I couldn't keep my mouth off her pussy. She would allow that. For a short time. I called it "the egg timer" in her head. After about :5 minutes she'd always pull my head up (btw i endeavored to do it just like she like it, gentle), and get on with the fucking. The part i could not communicate it seems was that going down on her was for ME as much as it was for her. I always came up wanting more. Granted, she could go longer doing 69. She also would suck cock and had no reservations about me cumming in her mouth. A spitter, but no problem there.
But there remained a certain puritan undercurrent to our sex life. Although we both were active church goers, she was the more devout one and sexual talk, naughty talk, were out of bounds with her. Nudity was for the bathtub and the bed, during sex only. I wanted to see her topless on the beach in St. Martin or nude beside our pool. She got upset when i mentioned it, "you WANT other men to see me naked?". I said it's not that I wanted other men to see her naked, "I" wanted to see her free and topless/naked in a sensuous and beautiful environment. Truly for me, it was the sensuality I wanted, and she would default to nudity = sexuality, and that puritan mindset would always prevail.
Our world views became very divergent after a time and we divorced. j
After 10 years of singledom I married (soon to be ex) wife #2. A beautiful Brazilian. With her, i discovered the JOY of COMMUNICATION! You know, most women don't want to tell you any specifics about their previous sex life, including mine. But, we agreed early on to TRY to be open and honest about sexuality. We made a discovery. That is, I encouraged her when we were in an erotic mood to tell me some stories. Her naughty encounters, with details. She was hesitant to share, and I was hesitant to hear (fearing my own jealous reaction). But, i found when the initial rush of "oh shit....YOU did THAT!?" passed and i became more than curious, but actually AROUSED (surprise to me), she began to enjoy telling me stories of what she'd done, by now knowing it was genuinely arousing. Our sexual conversations were so fluid and open that I could say things like "you know that guy you told me about? the one you would regularly suck off in his car? I want you to suck me like that right now". ....and boy, we were both off to the races.
I encouraged her to be nude on the beach, and conveyed she was perfectly safe with me. She did, and we incorporated nudity into our choices for vacation destinations. She became comfortable openly masturbating with her vibrator, and it was not uncommon for me to pop into the bedroom, see her watching porn on her phone with her vibrator on her clit. Of course, I immediately dived right in. Eventually, we tried swinging, and for a few years, that too was just awesome. We experienced and learned so much from being in such an environment of fun loving, friendly, and warm people.
The story does not have a happy ending, as along the way she became quite dissatisfied with many things. Probably among which was my ever increasing ED, which was sad i guess compared to the very young and horny swinger-guys who were ready and happy to accomodate her on a moments notice. But there were other issues. Enough said. I will always consider it a wonderful chapter in my life.
The big takeaway:
I will NEVER be with a partner with whom I have to hide my sexual interests, or with whom i have to pretend to be someone I am not. I learned from my experience with my Brazilian and from the ladies i met in the swinger world that there are PLENTY of women who truly have their own hidden desires just waiting for the un-judgemental man to come along, make her feel safe, and allow her to blossom. I am a gentle person I think. Warm and sensitive with women. But somehow, by being open about sexuality and so self-accepting, it seems to make them feel safe. Already discovering lots of nice surprises.
And back to the movie "Cocoon". And now, I'm BIONIC!
Flying the coop to my retirement in Thailand later this year Brethren!
I hope you all find the courage to communicate at the deepest levels. Sometimes, the truth is just uncomfortable. But it's always for the best. Truth, I have been told, will set you free.
I have always remembered that movie and how in one scene an old fellow having rediscovered his youth was talking to the stubborn holdout about the "possibilities....about the things they could do again....about SEX!". And with that, he disappeared out the window entering into a new world, rediscovered.
I feel like that guy who has rediscovered something lost. The ability to have confidence. To have sex. And for sure, the willingness!
I've read several posts on this thread about guys whose partners have little interest for reasons both psychic and organic, and for those gentlemen, my heart goes out to you. You are here writing because you are struggling with the fact that now you CAN have sex again, with the love of your life, you want to go for it! And she is lukewarm or minimally interested. Some of the replies i've read seem to be spot on: it's about communication. And in reality, getting real, expressing in no uncertain terms what you hope for and want, can be so difficult even with a partner you've been with for many years. You'd think it'd be easier, right? After all, haven't you raised the kids, weathered the storms, stayed together? But why is it so hard to lay it out there with our most raw fantasies with the person we're supposed to be able to be most vulnerable with?
I was married first time around, 24 years, to a kind and beautiful woman. She was great in bed, as long as it followed "her script". Her body was heavenly. Tall and slender, I couldn't keep my mouth off her pussy. She would allow that. For a short time. I called it "the egg timer" in her head. After about :5 minutes she'd always pull my head up (btw i endeavored to do it just like she like it, gentle), and get on with the fucking. The part i could not communicate it seems was that going down on her was for ME as much as it was for her. I always came up wanting more. Granted, she could go longer doing 69. She also would suck cock and had no reservations about me cumming in her mouth. A spitter, but no problem there.
But there remained a certain puritan undercurrent to our sex life. Although we both were active church goers, she was the more devout one and sexual talk, naughty talk, were out of bounds with her. Nudity was for the bathtub and the bed, during sex only. I wanted to see her topless on the beach in St. Martin or nude beside our pool. She got upset when i mentioned it, "you WANT other men to see me naked?". I said it's not that I wanted other men to see her naked, "I" wanted to see her free and topless/naked in a sensuous and beautiful environment. Truly for me, it was the sensuality I wanted, and she would default to nudity = sexuality, and that puritan mindset would always prevail.
Our world views became very divergent after a time and we divorced. j
After 10 years of singledom I married (soon to be ex) wife #2. A beautiful Brazilian. With her, i discovered the JOY of COMMUNICATION! You know, most women don't want to tell you any specifics about their previous sex life, including mine. But, we agreed early on to TRY to be open and honest about sexuality. We made a discovery. That is, I encouraged her when we were in an erotic mood to tell me some stories. Her naughty encounters, with details. She was hesitant to share, and I was hesitant to hear (fearing my own jealous reaction). But, i found when the initial rush of "oh shit....YOU did THAT!?" passed and i became more than curious, but actually AROUSED (surprise to me), she began to enjoy telling me stories of what she'd done, by now knowing it was genuinely arousing. Our sexual conversations were so fluid and open that I could say things like "you know that guy you told me about? the one you would regularly suck off in his car? I want you to suck me like that right now". ....and boy, we were both off to the races.
I encouraged her to be nude on the beach, and conveyed she was perfectly safe with me. She did, and we incorporated nudity into our choices for vacation destinations. She became comfortable openly masturbating with her vibrator, and it was not uncommon for me to pop into the bedroom, see her watching porn on her phone with her vibrator on her clit. Of course, I immediately dived right in. Eventually, we tried swinging, and for a few years, that too was just awesome. We experienced and learned so much from being in such an environment of fun loving, friendly, and warm people.
The story does not have a happy ending, as along the way she became quite dissatisfied with many things. Probably among which was my ever increasing ED, which was sad i guess compared to the very young and horny swinger-guys who were ready and happy to accomodate her on a moments notice. But there were other issues. Enough said. I will always consider it a wonderful chapter in my life.
The big takeaway:
I will NEVER be with a partner with whom I have to hide my sexual interests, or with whom i have to pretend to be someone I am not. I learned from my experience with my Brazilian and from the ladies i met in the swinger world that there are PLENTY of women who truly have their own hidden desires just waiting for the un-judgemental man to come along, make her feel safe, and allow her to blossom. I am a gentle person I think. Warm and sensitive with women. But somehow, by being open about sexuality and so self-accepting, it seems to make them feel safe. Already discovering lots of nice surprises.
And back to the movie "Cocoon". And now, I'm BIONIC!
Flying the coop to my retirement in Thailand later this year Brethren!
I hope you all find the courage to communicate at the deepest levels. Sometimes, the truth is just uncomfortable. But it's always for the best. Truth, I have been told, will set you free.