FrankTalk.org

My wife recently had an alcoholic breakdown and finally decided to seek treatment. During her first meeting she misunderstood the AA 9th step that states that you should make direct amends unless it would injure or harm them? So she comes home and tells me during our 8 month of living together )3 years before we married) she had a hard week at work and wanted to go out and have fun drinking and maybe playing darts. She doesn’t remember where she went, how she got there and only remembered some truck driver offering her moonshine in his drunk Her being an alcoholic and having low impulse control she got in the truck Next thing she remembered is getting pushed out of the semi in front of the driveway entrance to our townhouse. She knows something bad happened because her pussy and anus were sore She’s carried this for 26 yrs and thought she blacked out and turned into a sex freak.

Needless to say my world at 70 years has been turned upside down. Her guilt and remorse put her in the psychiatric hospital where the therapist said it sounds like you weren’t conscious. That made me think of bill cosby So I looked it up and in the late nineties they had a rash of over the road truck drivers preying on drunk women in bars and truck stops l. They roofie and rape them. When they come too they can dress themselves and sometimes the rapist will act like it’s consensual and give there victims a ride home. Her shrink this is what happened to her. It was a great relief to both of us on one hand and sad and devastating that her alcoholism put her in a position to get preyed upon.

Here’s my question. During mule inquisition of our beginning she reveals that it took her a few weeks longer to dump her other two lovers. Once I moved in she dumped them because I heard her on the phone Telling them please don’t call anymore. I had 26 of a great love life and 23 of great marriage. I’m angry but am I overeacting I was boning my former girlfriend and her for months. So I don’t know if it’s even an issue anymore

Sounds like a non-issue to me. Water long gone under the bridge, over the dam or whatever. Why would you want to dwell on that now. Be thankful she's now getting the help she needs. Support her. Be kind to her.

But dwell I did it’s fading now but one of was a chump and he gave me herpes. Ow every time I get a flare up I think about her sucking him and the other guy off after she told me she loved me and I assumed we were exclusive at that point. She’s really remorseful and learning about how the alcoholism and promiscuous behavior overlap for people with low self esteem looking for validation from sex. It’s juvenile but still real but fading daily

Well, that's a bombshell! But my thoughts agree with bldolnk. She made the big admission to get a heavy load off her mind. A person can't live carrying such a burden. She's now contrite, realizing how dumb she was in her younger years. (I cringe if I remember some of the dumb things I did when young.) Twenty-three years of a great marriage? Enjoy those memories and make more - at seventy you don't have a lot of time left!

I've been married 33 years with herpes, the Ghost of Girlfriends Past. My wife has been unconcerned all this time because she didn't expect to marry a choirboy and I'm careful to not infect her. She had numerous boyfriends and I had numerous girlfriends before our marriage, and I'm happy that she learned her excellent sex techniques from those guys.

You have one important job now: help her off the sauce! I can't say it better: SUPPORT HER. BE KIND TO HER.

P.S. Valcyclovir pills kill outbreaks in 48 hours and cost next to nothing.

Thanks, you’re right. Of course we had a good heart-to-heart. Completely honest discussion of the whole time. To put it to rest she cried so hard. She was so remorseful both of us. We ended up having a great day and now we know we can talk about it and not be walking around on eggshells And take a while for the movies to get out of my head, but when I do get the movies in my head, imagining them with big fat butt giant noses anything to make me laugh and make it less hurtful. I am told by the therapist this is gonna take me 18 months to two years to get over it I’m gonna try. I’m working on a lot quicker than that.

That was something she should have kept to herself, I think. It's hard to let some things go, forget about them. Glad you were able to talk things out though. My ex was similar, get drunk and who knows what she would do.

Howling: It's good to hear good news! Looks like you have a smart therapist. Stick with that person!

Keep us posted. I'm pulling for you.

If you are Now having sex with her twice per week I'd say let the past go...