HI 24 year old

[24_year_old]

24 year old from California dealing with dealing with psychological ED since I was 13. It ha caused a lot of misery for me and killed off my motivation in life. I all ready know if not a physical issue since I can get good morning wood. I have only since my penis fully hard in the last ten years (this was about 2 years ago.)

[jn1421]

Welcome 24 year old. Glad you are here.
Have you seen a Urologist or Men's Sexual Health Specialist? If so, what did they tell you or recommend?

[antelope]

Yep, and what therapies have you tried so far? Pump? Pills? Shots? For goodness sakes, don't settle for limp. Believe me, you have way too much to look forward to at your age.

Greg

[Cajun Jeff]

Welcome and I must say I agree with Dave and Greg. Their post are right on.

Cajun Jeff

[bromeman]

Good Day; as one who does therapy I am wondering about the possibility of some trauma earlier in life. Trauma (some type of sexual abuse which can be physical, mental and spiritual) can have long term consequences. If so please see a therapist because as you state the the equipment works but not when you want it to work.

[antelope]

No doubt the mental aspect of ED is serious. At the same time, the chemistry of oral and injection drugs can often compensate for that. My uro and pharmacist both told me that trimix would give me an erection whether I wanted one or not; the only exception being venous leakage. Maybe experiencing sexual pleasure can help you overcome the psych part. It has certainly helped me (and others) get past the blue funk (depression?) associated with a limp dick.

Greg

[24_year_old]

No doubt the mental aspect of ED is serious. At the same time, the chemistry of oral and injection drugs can often compensate for that. My uro and pharmacist both told me that trimix would give me an erection whether I wanted one or not; the only exception being venous leakage. Maybe experiencing sexual pleasure can help you overcome the psych part. It has certainly helped me (and others) get past the blue funk (depression?) associated with a limp dick.

Greg

My mom is pretty much responsible for the issue. She put negative thoughts(forced opinions) about sex into my mind when I was a kid.
It wrecked my life because it ended up spilling into other areas in my life. I had so much anxiety I could not even go to school and ended up dropping out of high school. I try talking to her about it but she just denies it.

It really killed my motivation and if I find someone sexually attractive
I'm perfectly happy with the penis size I got, but the hardness is what really bothers me.
Yes maybe having sex can help me overcome the psych part. I mean I still do have my V-card . I blew off plenty of opportunity's, that I had in the past 5 years. the last time I actually did something with a female was 10 years ago.

Yep, and what therapies have you tried so far? Pump? Pills? Shots? For goodness sakes, don't settle for limp. Believe me, you have way too much to look forward to at your age.

Greg

None so far.

[Dave48003]

You really need to get some blue pills or their equivalent and experience some success at sex, even if it is getting a big ol' boner and standing in front of a mirror and masturbating for an hour or so. You need a taste of confidence. Got a female friend? Not someone you're romantic with, someone you're comfortable with. Enlist her help if she's willing. You need a no pressure situation to start with.

Most of us who are over 50 were subjected to the "sex is dirty" mentality growing up. Playing with yourself was shameful. Get caught experimenting with a neighbor kid and the psychological impact was devastating. I really thought I was a despicable person, even though I didn't even know what sex was at age 10, I was just curious what others had in their private area, normal childhood curiousity, but my impression was I was supposed to somehow know what I was doing was horrible.

You need to get some professional psychological help. Believe it or not, it was a pastor who finally convinced me my guilty feelings were wrong, that sex is truly a gift from God.

[flagman]

Don't bother "talking to your Mom" who's motivation is to defend her actions. It's how the child percieved it. If it is psychological/emotional, then I would suggest a qualified sex councilor asap. Not all psycologists have the inclination to deal with this & you need the highest level of skill. Not that you are "so bad off" but I tried the cheap road during a divorce & it was a waste of time while a true high level pychologist got to the root of it in 2 sessions.
The longer you wait the more difficult. Under the guidance of a professional, I'd also suggest exploring your sexual feelings... what feels good.
Sex too soon is bad for children & leaves them vulnerable to exploitation.
Sex as an adult, which you are now, is a normal part of life. You deserve it as much as anyone. Along the way, you need to devolupe a sense of sexual ethics, when & where sex is appropriate for you under your beliefs like religion.

[bromeman]

Good Day 24 Year Old;
My guess was close to being right. The messages in your head need to be erased and therapy will help you accomplish that and free you from the negative messages you have internalized.You need to feel okay about yourself. Herb Goldberg in his book "The Hazards of Being Male" says at one point that when the penis will not rise to the occasion it is telling you an important message. If therapy is too costly have a look at Harris' book "I'M Okay-You're Okay" it is 1960's stuff but still useful. Harris renamed the Freudian parts of the personality Parent, Adult, and Child. The Parent is that part of our personality that is full of rules and negative messages. The Adult is that part which is reasonable and healthy. The Child is that part which likes to play, enjoy oneself, etc. Harris says that there are 4 messages: 1. I'Not Ok - You're OK; 2. I'm OK-You're Not OK; 3. I'm Not OK-You're Not OK; and 4. I'm OK-You're OK. The Not OK messages keep being stimulated in your head. Your Parent to Child messages are Not OK and need to became Adult to Adult and OK-OK.The process is one of giving oneself permission to change.