Hello from the midwest

[Mikescott88]

I am in my early fifties. I have no known health problems other than what I consider to me a significant problem with ED. I carry a few extra pounds (maybe 20), I have low T that is very effectively treated with Chlomid and I live an active lifestyle.

I have had problems with ED since my late 20's. It affected my first marriage and was a factor in ruining my second marriage. After my second divorce, I decided to get some help. During my second marriage, i tried pills - Viagra and Cialis. They worked with limited success but became cost prohibitive when insurance wouldn't pay for them. Even though the pills worked, I refused to embrace the problem and really try to fix it. I will say that even though I have this issue my sex drive is relatively high (every day is best, every other day is acceptable). It was INCREDIBLY frustrating to me that my brain knew EXACTLY what it wanted but my body stubbornly refused to respond.

I met a wonderful woman that I'm now living with and had the problem with her right away. She was patient, I got pills. The pills (Viagra and Sildenifil) worked for a few weeks and then I had to up the dosage to over 200 mg to get anything to work - I knew this was not a long-term solution. I saw a urologist and he had no explanation for the pills not working but told me about Trimix injections. For me, they have been a bit of a miracle in that they work really well. I know that opinions on this vary but my Uro said no more than every other day and inject on alternating sides. This gives me great erections and the overall experience has been phenomenal.

There are still some challenges for me. I LOVE spontaneous sex and the injections sort of limit that. For example, I had great sex yesterday morning and had another opportunity this morning ... no go.

I worry about the injections losing their effectiveness. I have already noticed this a little bit after four months. I'm still quite good but currently working through a left side (awesome)/right side (much less effective) issue. I know that there are other options if the injections fail (I also know that there are guys with LONG histories of injecting without issue) but I still worry about it. Honestly, I feel like an implant is in my future but I hope not for a long time.

I allowed ED to make me feel like an eviscerated male. I refused to confront the issue and was beyond embarrassed. Once I humbled myself and opened my brain up to alternatives, physically things became 100% better. If I could take the injections more often, I would ... but I can't and I'm learning to be OK with it.

If I had to identify a silver lining in all of this it would be relative to intimacy. I suppose I had it in my head that intercourse was always the goal of intimacy. I'm learning to be comfortable with the fact that it isn't. It's OK to lay in bed and kiss, touch, rub, laugh, joke, talk about the relationship ... all of it - it's all intimate and it's all necessary. In fact, knowing that intercourse absolutely will not happen can make all of those other activities even better.

The biggest things I've learned ....
ED is not inextricably linked to my manhood
Sex is a really important part of every romantic relationship (WORK to figure it out)
Involve your partner in the solution
If one thing doesn't work, try another - there are lots of options.
See a urologist - they know the options

Thanks for listening and I look forward to learning from all you guys.

[tomas1]

Nice post, welcome to the forum.
I never inject more than every other day, but at our age (78-76), we do fine.
I like the idea of intimacy sans sex on the non sex days.
As far as spontaneity goes, I guess it's all about making it part of the foreplay?
I don't think there's a hard and fast rule that you can't inject more on one side than the other.
I was having BIG problems penetrating the tunica on my left side and injected on the right side for quite some time. I'd guess a month or two. Now that I've figured out how to penetrate, I can alternate sides successfully.

I think you're a long way from going to the "final frontier" though.
I actually think that I could do OK with pills now, but don't like some of the side effects of them.

[drw1107]

Good morning,
I'm also from the Midwest and close to your age. I truly understand your feeling of embarrassment while unable to perform properly, and I also feel a huge amount of fear mentioning something like this to my doctor. My erection and ejaculation abilities have been steadily decreasing over the last year; starting to get worried about it. I just hope I will never need pills, injections, transplants in my future. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your previous relationships and good luck with your treatments.
David

[dg_moore]

I see many men on FT who are reluctant to talk to their doctors about ED issues. The plain fact is that ED is a medical (or occasionally psychological) problem that is best addressed by the medical profession. There is absolutely no reason to avoid discussing your problems with your physician - as has been stressed many times, they have heard and seen it all before. Talk to your doctor - this is the way to get started on the road to answers. If your doc is not responsive, find a specialist in men's sexual health. The longer you wait, the longer it will be before you find a solution.

[drw1107]

Just left a message for my primary physician. I'm feeling he won't know much to do about this since his second specialty is Dermatology, but he's always friendly/ understanding and lets me talk to him about everything. I've never dropped my pants with him, but I have a feeling I'll be showing myself off a lot in the near future! This is what scares me!

[Donnie1954]

If you have ED, it can be cured permanently. It's called an implant. Always ready and hard anytime! Check out our posts and welcome to FT.