Hello from SoCal, Looking For Input

[Anon-E-Mouse]

Hello,

I’ve been lurking the forums for a few days and figured I’d join to be able to interact with others. I’m a bit lost and confused about some things and this is a sensitive subject for me so bear with me. Thank god for being able to post under a pseudo name lol.

So I’m 33yrs old, 5’10’ about 235 with a BMI of 33. Ever since the age of 18 I’ve had “problems” and figured it was all in my head because when it came time to perform my mind was going a million miles a minute, I get extremely nervous and then nothing happens. Now when nothing happens, the problems get worse the 2nd, 3rd, and 50th attempt because you’re focused on the failures. At the age of 25, I saw a urologist and was told I have psychogenic ED. 

I started taking Viagra and have been using it for the past 12yrs and for the most part it has worked great. Now I’ve been single for a few years and recently got into a new relationship at the age of 33 and Viagra is no longer working 80% of the time, and sometimes taking even up to 200mg is not working either I struggle to attain or maintain. Since I'm only 33 and in a new relationship I have not told my new partner about my “issues” as I'm incredibly embarrassed.

Back when Viagra did work I was indeed 30-40 pounds lighter so I'm guessing gaining weight and being in poorer health isn’t helping the situation at all. I went to see another Urologist since Viagra was not working and was basically dismissed with a 10min verbal consult saying it must be psychogenic ED because it works “sometimes” and was told to see a shrink for 6 months.

I'm frustrated because I don’t think I have 6 months to fix a 12+ year long problem with a “shrink” before my new lady gets tired of waiting. I'm also not 100% convinced it is purely psychogenic ED and yes I was hoping for a more immediate fix. I made a new appointment with a new urologist to get another opinion in 2 weeks but I'm afraid he is just going to tell me the same thing, go see a shrink.

From what I've read here and elsewhere since Viagra 100-200mg is not working my next step would be injections which should help me shine even if I have anxiety? After 12yrs of this crap and finally finding someone that I really like, I just want to find some more immediate relief.

Any ideas on how I should approach the next urologist?

Has anyone tried injections to overcome extreme performance anxiety?

[FreddyFree]

Injections should work, and they’re not as bad as they sound. The only nerves are in the skin, so it is just a slight pin prick.
If injections don’t work, then you have bigger problems. But not insurmountable.

[bldoink]

Welcome to the forum.

What Freddy said.

When flying solo can you get and maintain an erection?

God luck. I hope you find the answers you need.

[Anon-E-Mouse]

Welcome to the forum.

What Freddy said.

When flying solo can you get and maintain an erection?

God luck. I hope you find the answers you need.

Yes, when flying solo I can almost always perform as desired with visual stimulation (porn). I do realize that is probably part of the issue, unrealistic visual stimulation and I have recently stopped. However, having this problem since essentially day one I am being a bit stubborn about thinking a shrink will fix the issue and I'm looking for more of a quick fix to this problem (Just being honest here).

I am sure I do indeed have extreme performance anxiety as my mind goes wild with 13yrs of failures everytime I know intimacy is about to start and even 200mg of Viagra can't overcome that. But I also believe there "might" be medical factors on top of that. I'm sure being overweight and sedentary doesn't help, also my T count was under 300 last check, and I have tremors in my arms that I think maybe MS (big family history of it)......etc.

Then again maybe I'm just looking for the quick fix to a problem I've been dealing with for ages. Being in a brand new relationship with someone I really love, I don't think waiting 6+ months in "hopes" that a shrink fixes the problem is an option we both want to face.

[mikestap]

Anon,
I think you know what’s going on here. I’ve been in the same spot. Lose the weight. You need to be at a 25 BMI. Is there any reason you’ve not shared that explains your weight gain?

There are huge benefits to dropping the pounds. Including psychological impacts. Physiological impacts. You can go on a lo-cal diet and drop 40 pounds in 3 months. I did it.

You owe it to yourself to do this before you attack your penis with treatments that only address your symptoms of obesity. Get to a healthy weight and if you still have problems, then look at pharmaceuticals.

Telyour girl what you’re doing. She’ll respect you for your honesty, if she’s worth keeping. And having told her, you’ll be all the more committed to losing the weight.

Best of luck to you.
Mike

[bldoink]

OK, this is way out of my wheelhouse. Anything I post on this is not worth much, if anything. But, I'll pontificate anyhow.

What Mike posted sounded good to me. Additionally I'll add, that as you already recognize, you have performance anxiety caused dysfunction. I also think you're going to have to be open with your lady. That itself should relieve some of the anxiety. If you can get to the point where it's feasible, some couples sexual therapy might be helpful. I believe the administrator of this forum is knowledgeable in this area but I could be wrong. Maybe he'll chime in. I also agree with you that backing of on the "chicken chokin "is probably also a good idea for now.

As I stated previously, I'm ignorant in this area. Maybe our comments will give you something to ask a professional about. He/she might well tell you we're full of shlt.

Good lick.

[Hero83]

Hello,
I can empathize with your situation. I'm 35 now, was 34 when I was told it was anxiety by a urologist. When I sought a second opinion, that doctor informed me he did not believe it was anxiety and he referred me out, he basically told me my case was beyond what he could help me with. I appreciated his honesty, although I was discouraged a bit at the time because he has a good reputation and he was very knowledgeable. I went to another larger hospital where an ultrasound determined I have decreased Blood flow. I started injections and they have been worjkng for me. There is a learning curve and they showed me at the office for the first injection. The ultrasound was expensive, but it may be something for you to consider if you want peace of mind. I was basically told the treatments are the same, pills, then injections can be second line, and implant was presented as an option. It's not covered by my insurance so I'm holding off on that. I believe one day I'll need to get an implant, it makes me nervous, but after reading posts on this forum I feel a lot better than I initially did and I'm honestly greatful that these treatments exist.
Please know that I'm not a medical practitioner and use your discretion with anything I've mentioned. I hope this helped in some way. Feel free to ask me any questions.

[raymnd]

I'm 75 and problems since 42. Injections worked well for years but finally stopped. 6 weeks post open. Wish I'd done it 20 years ago.
Talk with your lady. ,it's amazing how understanding women are. It will relieve much of the anxiety.

[Anon-E-Mouse]

Just a small update. I went to a local men's health clinic a few weeks ago and had some blood work down to check my T levels and I came back at 125 ng/dl for something that I guess should be between 300-1100. Some other levels they checked such as free T and calculated T were also low. Of course, this place recommended weekly injections but told me I would be infertile and I'm still building my family so that was a no-go for me. At least I have some answers that apparently my T levels are really low.

I saw here on the forum something about Defy Medical in Florida that offers T treatment and injections all remotely so I contacted them, paid $400 for a bunch of lab work (Waiting on the results but should be similar to the results I got a few days ago) and had a physical done. From there its $250 for the consult with their doctor over video chat then they recommend injections, t-replacement...etc and $90 for Trimix meds shipped to my door. Well see how that goes.

[Frank Talk Admin]

I don't often weigh in on postings, but your situation is sooo common and guys can get in serious trouble with doctors who do not know what you are doing.

And this is why you never ever accept a diagnosis of "psychogenic ED" from a family doctor! And, you also never accept friendly advice from online members - and that includes me!
You have low testosterone - which is rampant among men in the US. Your weight gain is almost certainly tied to low T. This is a great example that the ED is almost always a symptom of something else going on.

You MUST get to a sexual medicine specialist. Someone who will get your T levels to an OPTIMAL level, not just over the line into the imaginary "normal' level. Do not go to the commercial men's clinics. They are not experts at all in any of this. They are experts in taking your money and giving you injections. Go to our "Physician Finder" and find a doctor near you and ask them all if they will treat your testosterone levels. You might be able to find a sympathetic endocrinologist, but they don't usually know much about sperm preservation.

If you came to our clinic, we would not put you on testosterone for the obvious reasons of fertility. But you MUST find a doctor who will find out why your T levels are low. Most doctors will then treat you with an estrogen blocker like Clomid. This boosts your testes into overdrive. You might also benefit from HCG. But this is all stuff you need to ask your doctor about. If, after you have exhausted everything, a good doctor will bank your sperm and do what is needed to get your life back for you.

So, find a specialist - which is much harder than you expect. You are far from unique. This issue is affecting men of all ages. Don't stop fighting, there is a doctor who will help you, but you may have to go through many doctors to find the one. Don't give up!
Paul