FrankTalk.org

Late 2009, just after Thanksgiving, I was out for my almost daily walk. On this day it was a pre-work "workout" (fast walk, 3 miles) in the early morning. At some point during the walk I experienced an unusual pain in my right flank. Unusual in that I had never experienced a pain quite like it before. Finished my walk. Came in told my wife about it and then drove to work. Once at work I started to feel worse. Pain and nausea that came and went. My workmates insisted, because I looked so pale and sweaty, that they drive me and my car home. Saw my physician that afternoon. They tell me there is blood in my urine and that it is most likely kidney stones. Big surprise, not kidney stones but (x-rays describe) a tumor in my right kidney. Biopsy confirms aggressive kidney cancer. Fortunately the tumor is encapsulated within kidney and does not appear to have spread. Surgery to remove right kidney (nephrectomy) within a week. Six months later the first of many small tumors is seen in my bladder (Urologist pre-warned me) . 5 years of treatment for bladder cancer, none of them worked. Doctor informs me that bladder has to go. So I have what's called a "prostocystectomy" in January of 2015. My bladder, prostate and seminal vesicles are all removed. Fortunately the cancer still has not spread (metasisized) and skilled surgeon is able to preserve my sex nerves. Cystectomy is a very tough surgery but I come through it although I now pee into a bag on my stomach. After I've started to healed, I'm eager to see if I can coax my 65 year old penis back into action. Indeed I am able to achieve partial erection and orgasm via masturbation! In fact I delighted that when orgasming, I still ejaculate a small amount of fluid supplied by my still intact Cowpers gland.

Six months after my prostocystectomy, the other shoe drops. I was using a vacuum pump prescribed by my Urologist to keep my penile tissue healthy. While using the pump, some blood came out of my penis. Got right in to see my Urologist who had warned me that any blood would be a very bad sign of recurring cancer. He scopes me and says "Yes, I see a tumor in your urethra". When the bladder is removed, you still have a "urethral remnant" that runs from the tip of the penis and ends deep inside where it was severed from the bladder. This is bad news indeed because re-occurring bladder cancer in the urethral remnant is often fatal. The doctor asks if I want a biopsy and I say "Hell no, lets just get everything out ASAP". Surgery is scheduled. Urethrectomy is performed. They cut you open from your perineum right up through your scrotum. Then they somehow turn your penis inside out and remove the entire "corpus spongiosum" and urethral remnant. Ironically, during my post surgical follow-up my Urologist says "I have great news, analysis of the tumor shows that it was benign".

I was left with an intact penis and the two "Corpus cavernosa" columns of spongy erectile tissue. But without the Urethra and surrounding "corpus spongiosum", it is impossible to get an erection. Absolutely impossible. Believe me, I've tried. However, where there is a will, there is a way. My wife is unable to bring me to orgasm (although I still bring her to orgasm on occasion). She is no longer really interested in having reciprocal sex with me. Too difficult and the urine bag/Stoma situation is off-putting (I completely understand). I can still bring myself to orgasm although it takes some special techniques which I will describe in other posts.

I will be 72 in June. I still exercise and maintain a slim and reasonably good looking appearance. You can't tell by looking at me that I'm a cancer survivor with a urostomy and shrunken penis (which I massage and exercise all the time). I still value my sexuality and usually try and orgasm every other day. orgasm is much different than when I was a whole person. I will describe my sexuality and orgasmic capability in other posts I hope to make. Lucky and happy to be alive!!

I'm sorry you've had such a rough go of it. I'm thankful you now appear to be cancer free. I pray you remain cancer free. I know it's always there in the back of your mind.

If it's an option a malleable implant might be worthwhile. I'm guessing it would be cheaper than a 3 piece. I wonder what an alprostadil injection would do in your case?

Should you ever get a boner either chemically or with an implant you could always try doggy where your bag wouldn't play such a prominent role. I'm thinking a good grudge fuck from the rear might liven things up. But perhaps I've over reached. If so I'm sorry.

I wish you the best of luck and pray you have success in whatever direction you find works best for you.