facing a decision
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:36 am
Greetings, and thanks to all of you for being here and caring. I'm just at the point of giving serious consideration to getting an implant, and came here to learn about the "unknown unknows" involved. I've already learned a lot from FrankTalk, and look forward to learning more with your help.
I'm 64 and in good over all health; not a smoker, drinker or overweight. I'm in a stable relationship where attraction and willingness isn't a problem.
In 2005, I came down with progressive joint failure. My hips were shot, and after two years of physical therapy and hormone replacement (testosterone injections), I underwent total hip replacement on one side, on the other side the next year, and a shoulder reconstruction the next. The pain in my hips was compounded by stenosis of the spine compressing the sciatic nerve. In order to be able to sleep, I was on codeine and valium to combat chronic pain for six years.
I put a lot of effort into getting ready for the surgery, and had a very positive outcome each time. If I go forward with a penile implant, I intend to be proactive in this as well, which is why I'm here to learn what I can.
Going on testosterone replacement therapy helped me build strength, bone density and boosted my immune system, but it did not help me maintain an erection. The primary benefit I gain from Cialis is a sense of blood flow in my genitals that is helpful. With Cialis it feels like I'm at least in range of an erection, but that may just be one of those head games that ED plays.
As best I understand my situation, my primary problem is one of veinous leakage. I'm able to obtain an erection of moderate stiffness on occasion, and when there's Cialis in my system, I can wake up with a morning erection. Even so, the erection is fleeting, and rarely lasts long enough for either of us to reach orgasm. I'm experiencing notable emotional stress from wanting to start a sexual encounter and either being unable to, or being afraid of getting something started and then have it just slip away leaving a sense of shame and failure.
The problem has continued to get worse, and I'm running out of things to do. Three months ago, I went off the codeine and valium that I had been taking to cope with chronic pain, and have been successful at getting that out of my system. That helped for a bit as my system came out of the general lassitude those drugs create, but that's counterbalanced by a heightened sense of performance anxiety and overall emotional volatility.
I tried a vacuum device, and didn't feel that it did much for me since without tight bands, the erection would wilt away quickly, and bands tight enough to keep the blood in were painful. I am planning on acquiring another in order to start with the Dineen two-month pre-implant protocol in case I do go forward with having an implant, and because I know that doing something will help me deal with the overall sense of impotence that's dogging me.
Upping the dose of Cialis just gives me a headache instead of an erection, although I do value the increased sense of blood flow to my genitals.
FrankTalk had already done a lot to address my initial concerns. I'm off to meet with my urologist today to broach the subject of an implant, and will report back on how that goes.
For me, ED has been a steadily progressing problem that I only see as getting worse. I've already done everything I can think of to reverse the process, and feel good about the things I've done, but the utility of those stop-gaps is running out. It may be an inelegant comparison, but this feels like when I've been coming down with a stomach flu and know that I'm going to vomit, but try to hold off as long as possible. Then when the inevitable happens, I feel much better and kick myself for not having just gotten it over with sooner.
I'm convinced that the ED isn't going to spontaneously go away, and that I'm going to have to choose between giving up the sexual part of relationships or doing something radical. If the latter, then is there any point in delaying further? Given your experiences, what messages would you send back to yourself when you were at this decision point?
with much appreciation for your understanding and guidance as I embark on this journey,
~~ Walt
I'm 64 and in good over all health; not a smoker, drinker or overweight. I'm in a stable relationship where attraction and willingness isn't a problem.
In 2005, I came down with progressive joint failure. My hips were shot, and after two years of physical therapy and hormone replacement (testosterone injections), I underwent total hip replacement on one side, on the other side the next year, and a shoulder reconstruction the next. The pain in my hips was compounded by stenosis of the spine compressing the sciatic nerve. In order to be able to sleep, I was on codeine and valium to combat chronic pain for six years.
I put a lot of effort into getting ready for the surgery, and had a very positive outcome each time. If I go forward with a penile implant, I intend to be proactive in this as well, which is why I'm here to learn what I can.
Going on testosterone replacement therapy helped me build strength, bone density and boosted my immune system, but it did not help me maintain an erection. The primary benefit I gain from Cialis is a sense of blood flow in my genitals that is helpful. With Cialis it feels like I'm at least in range of an erection, but that may just be one of those head games that ED plays.
As best I understand my situation, my primary problem is one of veinous leakage. I'm able to obtain an erection of moderate stiffness on occasion, and when there's Cialis in my system, I can wake up with a morning erection. Even so, the erection is fleeting, and rarely lasts long enough for either of us to reach orgasm. I'm experiencing notable emotional stress from wanting to start a sexual encounter and either being unable to, or being afraid of getting something started and then have it just slip away leaving a sense of shame and failure.
The problem has continued to get worse, and I'm running out of things to do. Three months ago, I went off the codeine and valium that I had been taking to cope with chronic pain, and have been successful at getting that out of my system. That helped for a bit as my system came out of the general lassitude those drugs create, but that's counterbalanced by a heightened sense of performance anxiety and overall emotional volatility.
I tried a vacuum device, and didn't feel that it did much for me since without tight bands, the erection would wilt away quickly, and bands tight enough to keep the blood in were painful. I am planning on acquiring another in order to start with the Dineen two-month pre-implant protocol in case I do go forward with having an implant, and because I know that doing something will help me deal with the overall sense of impotence that's dogging me.
Upping the dose of Cialis just gives me a headache instead of an erection, although I do value the increased sense of blood flow to my genitals.
FrankTalk had already done a lot to address my initial concerns. I'm off to meet with my urologist today to broach the subject of an implant, and will report back on how that goes.
For me, ED has been a steadily progressing problem that I only see as getting worse. I've already done everything I can think of to reverse the process, and feel good about the things I've done, but the utility of those stop-gaps is running out. It may be an inelegant comparison, but this feels like when I've been coming down with a stomach flu and know that I'm going to vomit, but try to hold off as long as possible. Then when the inevitable happens, I feel much better and kick myself for not having just gotten it over with sooner.
I'm convinced that the ED isn't going to spontaneously go away, and that I'm going to have to choose between giving up the sexual part of relationships or doing something radical. If the latter, then is there any point in delaying further? Given your experiences, what messages would you send back to yourself when you were at this decision point?
with much appreciation for your understanding and guidance as I embark on this journey,
~~ Walt