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Greetings from the New Guy
Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2023 4:27 am
by AKJess
Hi everyone. Stumbled across this site after doing some research. I'm 55, retired military and live in AK. I developed BPH about 5 years back and treated with Flowmax with okay results...damn stuffy nose from it doesn't help. My PSA is consistently high but stable, so I guess that's good. 2 years ago I developed PD and ended up with a 47 degree curvature to the right after it stabilized. Penetrative sex was painful for both the wife and I, more so her. I was prescribed cialis and pentoxifillne along with traction (restore x) before resorting to a more invasive method. I had good success after 2 years of the meds and traction...was able to reduce the curvature to about 35 degrees and then things hit a plateau. Despite the improvement, sex is still painful for her. I started xiaflex treatment and just finished my second set last week. I did see some improvement after the first set and I'll be happy if I can get below 30 degrees after this round, but I am not holding my breath. I look forward to interacting with you all.
Re: Greetings from the New Guy
Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2023 9:53 am
by Old Guy
Welcome to Frank Talk. I have to say your condition sounds very unpleasant. Hope you are able to figure out some sort of cure or fix. Best of luck.
Re: Greetings from the New Guy
Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2023 6:33 am
by bldoink
Welcome to the forum.
Re: Greetings from the New Guy
Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2023 9:40 am
by cbinspok
Welcome AK, lots of us have been there, Pd sucks and not in the good way. Thanks for the signature. You have found your brothers.
Re: Greetings from the New Guy
Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2023 2:10 am
by Lost Sheep
AKJess wrote:Hi everyone. Stumbled across this site after doing some research. I'm 55, retired military and live in AK. I developed BPH about 5 years back and treated with Flowmax with okay results...damn stuffy nose from it doesn't help. My PSA is consistently high but stable, so I guess that's good.
(edited for focus)
I look forward to interacting with you all.
Welcome to the forum, AKJess. Thanks for serving a full term. I left USAF after 11 years and stayed in Alaska. VA has been very good to me. PM if you want more details.
Congratulations on marrying a good and understanding woman.
Flomax gave me retrograde ejaculation, so we stopped that prescription. I will lose ejaculation soon enough to prostatectomy. Your mention of high (but stable) PSA readings worries me for you. Mine was consistently at the low end of normal for most of my life until 6-7 years ago when it began to slowly climb. I did not take that as a warning sign and now....
You are among friends and peers here.
Re: Greetings from the New Guy
Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2023 1:35 pm
by Martin6469
Welcome AKJess. You can read years of commentary and advice in the topic archives.
Bill Catalina, the urologist who invented the PSA test, has a quarterly newsletter, "Quest," which covers PSA monitoring and BPH in great detail, as well as all other urology aspects, including answers to readers' questions. You can subscribe free at
www.drcatalona.com.
My wife and I have a sex practice which we use often; maybe it could help you. Since I'm small, we play with large dildos. Typically she'll have an orgasm masturbating with one, rest a while still containing it, and then I'll do her. Her vagina is wider at this point than if I did her first, slowly shrinking down to my thickness after a while. Maybe this technique would admit your PD less painfully. At least you might receive the "happy wife" side effect that I get!
Re: Greetings from the New Guy
Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2023 8:54 pm
by Lost Sheep
Martin6469 wrote:(edited for focus)My wife and I have a sex practice which we use often; maybe it could help you. Since I'm small, we play with large dildos. Typically she'll have an orgasm masturbating with one, rest a while still containing it, and then I'll do her. Her vagina is wider at this point than if I did her first, slowly shrinking down to my thickness after a while. Maybe this technique would admit your PD less painfully. At least you might receive the "happy wife" side effect that I get!
AKJess wrote:(Edited for focus)
Despite the improvement, sex is still painful for her. I started xiaflex treatment and just finished my second set last week. I did see some improvement after the first set and I'll be happy if I can get below 30 degrees after this round,
Martin6469's solution makes sense. A vagina, sufficiently wet, dilated, aroused and relaxed may well be able to accommodate a curve more easily. And, if directed to a "good spot" might even be advantageous. Good luck.
Re: Greetings from the New Guy
Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2023 1:13 pm
by AKJess
Those conditions are always met having intercourse with her because she has always been "close tolerance". Her vag is smaller than average for her demographic, never been pregnant, has an incredibly strong pelvic floor and is post-menopause which can effect elasticity. Add to that 47 degrees of curvature to the right and things don't work out well. If perhaps I was curved up or down, that may have worked better, then we could position a straight approach that follows the natural curves of her body. Side mounting works to some extent, but not the best position to sustain for long periods. Now that I am down to 35 degrees, intercourse is possible and not as painful - as long as I am not inside during her orgasms -- that used to be pleasurable but is now so painful I instantly lose my erection. We have been working on alternative sexual "strategies" to cope with the situation...still frustrating.