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Hi guys.

So bit of background here.

I'm 38 from UK.

I have always suffered from anxiety related ED, right from. When younger, but don't appear to have had too much issue getting a full erection in the right circumstances.

I have two kids aged 13 and 3.

Everything was going along steadily until last year when I happened to meet a woman I completely fell in love with.

My children's mum is a vulnerable person mentally, having suffered from an eating disorder in the past and has little family support.

Our relationship has been low for years and we hadn't had sex in 2.5 years when I met this other woman.

Contrasty me and the newer relationship utterly adore each other and have a very warm and until recently active sexual relationship.

In August the stress of trying to hold down the relationship, look after 2 kids and run a business collapsed on me and I developed hypertonic pelvic floor with pain and probable pudendal neuralgia.

The pain in my pelvic region can be intense and radiates up my penis causing ED and obviously lowering my libido.

The fact i cannot have a normal relationship with the new girl causes severe mental stress which in turn makes the situation worse.

I am supposed to be moving in with her after Xmas but this will mean severely reducing my support for my kids.

Also as a result of thr condition my business has greatly suffered too. I am now losing money- again more stress factors

She has told me she doesn't care and loves me so will wait for whatever treatment I need.


My issue is that from reading its not exactly an easy to treat or well known condition.

I now take Cialis both to help blood flow in the pelvis and improve my chances of having sex, but it can be very hit or miss and the changes in sensation to my penis mean it doesn't always stay hard that long even with pills.

That said i still get her off in other ways so its not absolutely desperate in that sense.

I tried a low dose injection (2.5 mcg aprostadil) which did nothing but make my penis hurt and have a VED more firvexercise than anything else.

I know this may seem extreme but even at this stage I am considering implants just to normalise my sex life in case this condition is permanent.

Would it be ridiculous in someone who can actually get an erection? Should I exhaust other means first?

Thanks look forward to talking- I need it.

Welcome to the forum.

Never_Enough wrote:I am supposed to be moving in with her after Xmas but this will mean severely reducing my support for my kids.

I would find this consequence unacceptable. My kids would take precedence above all others.

I believe your ED is very treatable with the right therapist. The forum administrator appears to be very knowledgeable with your type of symptoms. Hopefully he will chime in.

Good luck.

bldoink wrote:Welcome to the forum.

Never_Enough wrote:I am supposed to be moving in with her after Xmas but this will mean severely reducing my support for my kids.

I would find this consequence unacceptable. My kids would take precedence above all others.

I believe your ED is very treatable with the right therapist. The forum administrator appears to be very knowledgeable with your type of symptoms. Hopefully he will chime in.

Good luck.

Thank you. I know. It is an incredibly hard situation. In the end I probably will stay with my support of the kids, but I will be desperately miserable relationship wise.

Other UK FT friends have said that it takes a long time to get NHS appointments, but it seems like you need to get to the cause of the neuralgia before thinking about an implant.

Check the September 2022 thread "London UK Clinics" in General Discussion. A Dr. David Ralph is recommended to be seen privately and then asked to be recommended to your NHS doc.

A keyword search of the entire forum for "London" will turn up a lot of UK commentary.

Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome is a stress disorder. You need a physical therapist for an evaluation and treatment. When you finally get a doctor ask about a non-SSRI medication to help bridge this period of high stress in your life. Meds are a tool, not the solution. Finally, see a therapist to help sort out and manage the stress.
Here is information and some exercises for you to try.