FrankTalk.org

Hello All, and thanks to the many people who contribute their own experience here. ED’s been a feature of my whole adult life and I am now - aged 40 - preparing to undergo implant surgery.

The catalyst of my marriage (which produced two kids) ending - doubtless in partly to inconsistent erections - has led me to this decision. Partly the inaction for so long is my fault. But I think the system in the UK is pre-disposed to suggest younger men have a psychological issue. Throw into that a Catholic childhood with warped ideas of sexuality and a lot of fruitless therapy it’s easier to believe that. So only very recently has confirmation of essentially irreparable venous leak been made. The end of my marriage is obviously terrible and this post facto discovery of VL is terrible to hear for both of us. My ex-wife is a good woman and this is awful for us both. But it’s not the only issue and I’m looking to the future with a notional surgery date of second week of August.

I would like to think I’ll document my journey on here for, if nothing else, catharsis but hopefully my own experience helps someone.

Physically and outcomes wise - notwithstanding my fear of being knocked out - I’m confident in the surgeon and that he has my objectives in mind: a good physical, practical and aesthetic outcome. But my question is this: what do people tell employers? My boss is a good and decent human being but I don’t want to talk to him about my junk. So I’m thinking of asking my private GP for a note that says something about a necessary urological procedure; and that letter can be informed by my surgical notes?

I’m fortunate to be able to self-pay (my insurance won’t cover it and I’m fortunate in that I need not wait for the NHS).

Thanks in advance and best wishes to you all.

No employer but if someone mentions about my recent surgery I just tell them it was a prostate issue with a urological issue requiring a small surgery .. keep it simple .. and if she is single and decent looking offer to show her your scars after you heal ... lol

My excuse was a cyst on a testicle had to be removed. No one asked any further questions after hearing that.
Good Luck.

I was as vague as possible when I filled out my time-off paperwork. The form to HR from the medical team was more detailed. Maybe your doctor could just refer to a "necessary surgical procedure" and leave it at that.

I'm also worried about being anesthetized, although I'm not sure why. I keep thinking of Hal in 2001, asking, "Will I dream?" Will I sense time passing? Will I just blank out, then suddenly come to, like time travel?

Anyway, take care and best of luck! We're all here for you.

I have been put out 3 times in the last 11 months ... with the new drugs one moment your there next moment your not ... you tend to wake up a little groggy but it clears quickly .. if they come to talk to you make sure your family member is there because you can hear and answer them but you won't remember later or at least I didn't ..bestof luck to you ..

Thank you everyone for your considered replies .

Let’s see. As and when things are locked and loaded I’ll post an update!