FrankTalk.org

Hello to all in the group. I have been “lurking” for several weeks now and finally registered since there have been so many times I have wanted to ask a question or comment on another post.

I am a 64 year old guy living in the southeast US. I had DaVinci RALP in June of 2013 after watching my PSA rise for the past three years. Like so many of you, I have many frustrations surrounding my recovery. I suppose I am just a very impatient guy. My doc told me to expect the ED and incontinence but I was not psychologically ready for the actual trip that started that June day on the surgical table.

The idea that I could be cancer free overwrote every other thought. My six week PSA is <0.10 (undetectable), but my incontinence is worse than I expected and sex just seems out of the question for now. My wife and I were very active (2-3 X per week) pre- surgery so we both miss it a lot. I am using a VED but cannot maintain an erection and have not begun to use restriction ring yet. Cialis and Viagra do nothing now though they were very effective before the surgery. Some tell me that I am doing “as expected” for only 8 weeks out. But that is not acceptable. I want more and I want it now! Selfish I guess.

I look forward to sharing with the group and getting to know the many characters that are probably here.

Mike

Mike ... Welcome to FT ...
Yes you are doing as expected ... My incontinence lasted 5 months, so hang in there. Although you think the Cialis isn't doing anything ... actually it is, but just not enough for you to "see" a difference. It really does help with the blood flow aspect ... however it's doubtful that pills alone will be enough to "get you back to where you were" ...

Keep pumping daily to maintain penis health and prevent tissue atrophy (loss of length). You might want to try the ring to maintain your erection after VED ... this should also prevent you from squirting when you climax. Yes it will happen and gets messy. Get your wife involved in your recovery ... have her pump you up.

Don't forget her needs ... take care of her the best you can (for now). Things should improve over time (6 months) ... usually by then incontinence should no longer be an issue. I know "it's hard to be the man" when you are standing there in front of a naked woman in your Depends and a limp noodle ... but stay positive.

Make sure to discuss your progress with your URO ... seek his opinion on all options (Injections, Implant, etc.) Keep us posted of your progress too

Bionic, I see that you jumped into your implant pretty quickly after your prostatectomy. I already feel that the implant is the way I would like to proceed. How soon is too soon to plan for this? I want to go to Trimix to give it a try but I am stil very anguished about my leakage when we have play time. She says it's alright but I still feel uncomfortable not knowing whether I will leak or blast a stream unexpectedly. I guess I should clear up the incontinence for sure prior to implant. But what about Trimix?

Dear jmicole,
Had PCa treatment last year and it did a number on me for awhile. Here are two books that were very helpful.
First is Dr. John Mulhall's Saving Your Sex Life: A guide for men with prostate cancer.
The other was by Virginia and Keith Laken, Making Love Again. This one you could read together with your wife.
You can check them both out at Amazon and buy them used if you are cheap.
I highly recommend both.
All the best and blessings to you.

jmicole wrote:How soon is too soon to plan for this

My URO ... the same one that did my Robotic surgery said (for me) 6 months was a minimum ... since I'm a fast healer and in good shape.

I want to go to Trimix to give it a try but I am stil very anguished about my leakage

Trimix is great and works for about 80% of guys ... unless you have venous leakage? If you are concerned about urine leakage use a ring ... it does work. There are various types including adjustable ... you can find them cheap at Amazon.com
[Example]
http://www.amazon.com/California-Exotics-Kaplan-Erection-Enhancer/dp/B002JINW56/
http://www.amazon.com/California-Exotics-Sean-Michaels-Love/dp/B002JINO9A/