These forums are a Godsend!!

[Wooderson]

As someone who for the last few weeks has been silently reading and ingesting the wealth of knowledge and experience these forums have to offer, I figured it's time to man up, introduce myself and officially give thanks.

I'm a working professional in my late thirties who's been battling venous leak ED for the past 8 or so yrs now. I'm not 100% certain what brought it on though I have my theories (and I suspect the fact that my girlfriend once fractured my penis while riding me cowgirl-style back in high school may have also played a role in it...though I was still able to get decent, 'workable' hard-ons without difficulty or issues shortly after that and for many years to come).

By the end of 2007 not long after I first noticed signs of venous leak (erections not getting completely firm, needing constant physical stimulation to stay up, etc.) I visited the urologist at my HMO who basically said it sounds like venous leak for which nothing could be done other than my wearing a "rubber band" during sex. I didn't like hearing that, nor did I like that he seemed reluctant to even test me to confirm the VL. Apparently, to him, the outcome of the test wouldn't change the only possible solution which he'd already prescribed. Several months later I insisted on the Doppler test anyway during which I couldn't even muster a respectable erection once he'd injected me. VL it apparently was.

Nevertheless my sex life didn't exactly die right then and there. After experimenting with different kinds of constriction rings both with and without the aid of PDE5 inhibitors, I found I was able to manage my erections best using stretchy, 'novelty' cock rings once I was sufficiently aroused (manual or vaginal stimulation would then take care of the rest as far as keeping me hard). A couple years later as I got more comfortable with my then-girlfriend I found I could penetrate her even without wearing a ring or taking pills, though this usually meant premature ejaculation might be a concern unless we were particularly sexually active that day or the day before, or if I had a good wank session the day of our sexual encounter (I found my short-term stamina improved the more immediate activity my little guy saw). The quality of my performance was position-dependent as well: doggy = firmest erections, cowgirl = weakest erections, missionary = manageable, though premature ejaculation might be a factor--as with all three positions.

Fast forward a few more years to today, with work stress slowly building to where I had to quit my last job and stay unemployed for a year, I didn't notice it at the time but my sexual health was also slowly deteriorating. And though my g/f and I had also broken up prior to that, we had enough "relapse" encounters such that I was still having semi-regular sex with someone I trusted, loved and could always get it up for (keeping it up, that was another matter). We had dated for many years up to that point and she was my sole sexual partner throughout most of my ordeal thus far with this godforsaken disorder.

When we finally broke up for good not long ago, things took a dramatic turn for the worse. While my nocturnal/morning erections were already "soft-ish" and/or "short-lived" these last few years, in the last few months especially (if not longer) I notice I'm not waking up with ANY kind of erection. I've found I can still sometimes get hard enough to masturbate to orgasm during the day, but ONLY if supremely motivated, relaxed and in just the right mood. I really have to labor at it. And it's pretty much a given I'll need a cock ring and plenty of lube if I want to be sure to get the job done.

Meanwhile as I've also just started a new job, I'm between health insurance plans and in a grey area where I can't just climb in my car and see the ED specialist of my choice right this moment (assuming there wouldn't already be a wait list). With nowhere else to turn to I've been relying on forums like this and others to determine the best course of action to keep things from getting worse.

About a week ago I emailed jackpTenn after I read him suggest another poster on another forum immediately start a VED exercise regimen to keep his penis healthy and prevent further tissue degradation. I honestly don't remember the last time I experienced nocturnal/morning wood of even feeble strength or duration; I just hope it wasn't so long ago that I've past the point of no return. In any event with Jack's wonderful help and support I ordered a (single-cylinder) Augusta Medical Vitality VED which I've been using once daily during the week, twice daily on weekends for the past three days now (as soon as it arrived). I also managed to set up an appointment with ED specialist Dr. Tom Lue at UCSF though that's not until the first week of June. Until then I will continue to get intimately acquainted with my VED and hopefully see some improvements before I meet the good doctor.

I don't know what the future holds as far as my path out of this nightmare that seems to have been progressing for years, but thanks to everyone who's already shared their incredibly personal experiences, triumphs and failures on forums like this and others I at least have some hope again and a bit more insight and determination to hopefully (one day) knock this ****ing VL/ED out cold and right on its ass.

[billylee]

W,
Welcome.
I think you will find lots of strong, supportive advice on this forum, much as you found from Jackp. Jack so much help for me, and still is. We became close friends through Internet sharing personal stories, even those going way back in our lives. i can even thank him for the surgeon I found, as it was through his recommendation of Milam that eventually brought me closer to home to Morey. Hopefully when you get lined out in new job all will click for you and you can get closer to "the fix". If I can help, PM me. I can offer advice through my tad of experience and/or we can speak of our mutual friend Jack.
billylee

[Wooderson]

Thanks Billy. I already feel like less of a pariah just being here. I feel like I'm already among friends with a single common purpose: to rid the world of this horrible affliction, both for themselves and for others. Even for those who have yet to experience the all-encompassing misery that is ED.

I like to think I've already hit rock bottom but honestly, I don't know. The fact that I'm single and not even in my 40s yet doesn't make it any easier. At the very least though I feel like I'm taking action again. I also feel like getting the 'right' actionable information early is crucial to beating this thing and while I may not have had the best luck in that regard, I want to believe it's still "better late than never". We'll see. If I experience any breakthroughs or need more advice I definitely know where to go to first.