FrankTalk.org

It seems as though there is a lot of information online about these
topics but nobody really talks about it. I just happened to stumble on
this group and thought that I would give it a try. Every time I try to
bring it up at the doctors office they seem change the subject rather
quickly. So, in search of anything that could help me, I am reaching
out.
I am 31 yo, been with an amazing woman for 12 years this summer, married
for 9 years. She is my first, last, and only. I have two kids, 3 and
5, I work about 70-80 hrs a week between two jobs, and I am in the car
about 10-15 hrs a week. I work 3rd and 1st shift. My wife is a stay at
home mom and she and I don't mind our situation at all. I am 6' and
hover around 270-280lbs, recently quit smoking after about 10 yrs (still
battling). I would say I am not that active, I just keep up with work
and family. I get about 2-4 hrs of sleep a night, which I know is not a
lot. I am also attempting to get my weight under control a little. I
have no social life whatsoever, and wish I did, but when? I have in the
past expressed concern to my doctor who just threw a script of VIAGRA at
me. I did try it, with some success but really a time crunch nightmare.
Over the past few years, my wife and I noticed that I am tired all of
the time, easily irritated, lack desire (doesn't even exist), and as far
back as I can remember, lack a solid erection. Anytime I am on my way
to an erection it gets half-way there, and I have to "flex" to get to
about 75% hard. It is hard enough to penetrate, but I can only last
5-10 mins before I'm done. My wife has no issues at all, and tells me
that she could have sex at the drop of a hat any day everyday. So, she
is ready and willing. I find it very frustrating to not be able to
satisfy. My current doctor just recently tested thyroid function with a
testosterone. I work in a lab so I have a pretty good idea of what is
normal and what is not. thyroid was all normal, but the testo is
"within normal range" at 297 (low end of the range is 265). From the
information I have found, this is relatively low, and should warrant
further investigation (if I was over 50) but I get the feeling that "I
am too young for that" even though it has never been said.
I am just looking for some help...

D:

Welcome. It is nice to have you amongst us. Regardless of why we are here, I'm PCa, we all face the same issue and struggle to regain function. I would suggest that you see a Urologist about your situation. From the text I assume you are seeing a GP or Internist and it might be helpful to consult a specialists with this. As you know, ED can also be an indicator of other health problems but it sounds as though you doc is ruling those out.

It will be helpful that you have quit smoking and are trying to loose some weight- aren't we all. Smoking does bad things to blood vessels and none of us need interference down there. You might also begin a pumping therapy to bring blood back into the shaft. After my cancer surgery I have found this to be a great help to me. There are many different kinds of pumps. Shortly this site will open a Marketplace that will carry pumps and all kinds of stuff. The nice aspect is we will be able to "shop" in private at a secure site and know the product has quality. Stay tuned and think about that possibility. If you get a pump and have ?'s, I will be glad to respond as I can.

Stress is also an erection killer. We guys work too hard and don't take time for ourselves as we take care of families, jobs and life. You state your problem well and you and your bride should take some time to figure out ways for you to unwind and relax. I have usually worked too hard but even I, didn't/don't keep the kind of schedule you do. Understand the pressure, but to take time to care for yourself. Perhaps the biggest plus, is your wife's interest in you sexually and her interest in getting you up and going on a more regular basis. Try new methods, positions and whatever- fun is fun. Also, as you deal with this a very wise man once gave me some excellent advice when he said that a man's best sex tool was his tongue and used well would keep his woman beyond happy. Well, hope this is not to direct but it may be an additive to assist you in pleasing her why you rehab.


As far as any of us know there is not a simple or quick solution and at your age there are too many years ahead to not aggressively go for the GOLD!

Welcome and just us know what we can do to provide advice, encouragement and some humor to further your progress.

Regards,

Dick

Hi Dsisoh. It is said that we get to sex only after getting to basic needs: food, shelter, clothing. Sleep 2- 4 hours? OMG, there is no way I'd be relaxed enough for sex with those hours. Of course weight and smoking aren't helpful here. I'm all for more sleep.

Welcome, Dsisoh. I'm new to this site, as well (this is my fourth day). I've found that you will find very empathetic conversations and a wealth of information.

I noticed a couple things very early on: everyone is quite direct, which I like; you're going to find that you're not alone; no one is going to judge you; and, you just might get some valuable advice! What else could one ask for?

Also, I feel I've made a friend already. That was an added benefit which I didn't expect.

Pat