FrankTalk.org

I'm new at this so bear with me.
First I'm glad I found this site. Its good to finally have someone I can talk to who understands my problem.
My story:
I'm a 61 years old. Back in 2000 I had a heart attack and a triple by-pass. My heart recovered just fine, but it left me with ED. Viagra worked and I was good to go. But things changed.
In 2002 my wife became ill. Long story, I won't go into details. She slowly declined over the next eight years. Our sex life declined as well. As best I can remember, our sex life completely ended sometime in 2007. She passed away in 2010.
About six months ago I met a good woman and we started a relationship. Much to my dismay, I discovered the Viagra didn't work a well as it used to. I would try to get an erection, but it would only get about half way there. Not nearly strong enough for actual penetration. I tried Cialis, Daily Cialis and Stendra with similar results. Even tried double douses, but the pills just didn't work as they should.
At this point I should mention that my health insurance does not cover treatment or medication for ED. I'm retired and living on a fixed income. I'm not hurting for money, but I do have to be very careful about how I spend it.
Anyway, that lead me to a big mistake. I'd heard the radio commercials for a local Men's Clinic. $200 for an exam, blood tests and a test dose of Tri-mix. I figured I had nothing to lose. Oh, it started out promising, but I got no better results from the injections than I did from the pills. Unfortunately, the shots also came with unpleasant side effects that ranged very uncomfortable to down right painful. On one occasion, I came very close to passing out. Also unfortunately, the doctor only seemed to interested in changing the formula each time which did nothing but make the side effects worse. He never even suggested any other form of therapy. I could easily go into a rant about this clinic, but let's just say it turned out to very expensive lesson learned the hard way and leave it at that.
Ok, so now it was time to bite the bullet and see a real Urologist. Had to pay for it out of my own pocket, but I needed answers. The Urologist confirmed what I already suspected. I have blood flow problems. The pills and shots just won't work for me no matter how much I take. He started me on Vacuum Therapy and that's where I stand today. I'm still experimenting with the pump. I can get a usable erection, but I'm having trouble keeping it. Within a few minutes my erection goes down to the point where sex is impossible.
I do have hope as the pump has worked better than anything else so far. I'm in the process of trying different sizes and combinations of bands. I also have several different types of bands on order from other makers and feel confident that I'll hit upon the right combination before long. I certainly hope so, because if this doesn't work, my only other option will be an implant which I can't possibly afford.
On the bright side, my girlfriend has been absolutely great about all of this. She keeps me positive and hopeful.
Strangely enough, I went about 8 years without having sex. I didn't like it, but I do know that if it came down to it that I could live a full and happy life without sex. What does worry me is how that could affect my current relationship. She's a fine woman and the last thing I would ever want is to hurt her.
Anyway, that's my tale. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I look forward to the input and experience of the members here.

Grayfox wrote:...In 2002 my wife became ill. Long story, I won't go into details. She slowly declined over the next eight years. Our sex life declined as well. As best I can remember, our sex life completely ended sometime in 2007. She passed away in 2010. ...I went about 8 years without having sex. I didn't like it, but I do know that if it came down to it that I could live a full and happy life without sex.

Your story sounds much like mine. I also went 8 years without sex while my late wife struggled with cancer, finally passing away in 1992. I remarried at 50 and resumed a good sex life, but ED kicked in and we fumbled around with pills, then VED, then injections. My wife and I both hated the VED, and injections didn't work at all. During the ED battle, and after menopause, my wife lost all interest in sex. As a last resort I got an implant, but I had a stroke that killed my libido and took away all desire for sex. Since neither of us has any desire we are now living the aforementioned full and happy (but sexless) life.

I do recommend you look into an implant - Medicare will cover it. If I had gotten the implant when I needed it, instead of fumbling around for years with stuff that didn't work, I could have had additional years of intimacy.

Good luck!

Hi Grayfox. I'm a member here for a few months. It is a great site to ask and air things out. I suffered from ED for about 10 yrs going from pills to injections. The shots never did anything but drain my wallet. Finally I discovered the option of an implant. I had one done last January and do not regret it one bit. I have a post about my story that you may find interesting. Bottom line for me is that my wife and I have issues right now due to several factors but the implant does work. You have to learn how to adjust to certain things but if you have a willing partner it can be done. A lot of guys brag about how they "grew" with an implant. Well, my story is I lost a couple of inches and girth but you know what? Its how you use it, not how much you have. Check out Dr. Perillo in Floriday. He has a great site with videos and all. I had my operation done in Baltimore by Dr. Kramer who is A-1 in my book. Oh, and finally, I learned that the longer you wait to have an implant, the more chances are you can lose size so what's the hold up? NOt sure where you live but going to a well established doctor like Kramer, Eid, Perillo, etc., is better than the local urologist by FAR. Also, sometimes going to a university hospital they are very good about working out payments if you have no insurance or poor insurance. U of Baltimore was good for me. I fortunately had insurance but still paid some out of the pocket. They offered to set up payments but again I was able to pay off what I owed so I was lucky Hang in there friend and ask away on Franktalk. It is a great brotherhood!