I always had excellent erectile function and the sexual connections I made were a very important part of my life. Funnily enough, I sometimes complained to my friends I had too many random erections. I had dozens a day and sometimes they lasted for a good 10 or 15 minutes or so and it could be socially awkward sometimes. Ain't life ironic?
I'd like to note though that, sometimes, I had ED on the first sexual encounter I had with someone. I was perfectly aware it was "performance anxiety" and nothing organic. Although I certainly didn't find it pleasant I didn't make a drama out of it. I had zero problems once I got comfortable with a new partner which happened pretty fast (2nd or 3rd encounter). So.. life was great!
Around 2011 I was medicated for depression and anxiety, something which I had struggled for all my life intermittently. Treatment worked great but I decided to stop after a year. I got a new girlfriend and was feeling great and decided it was time to stop. Then things got weird: I began to have ED with my partner and alone, the pleasurable feelings associated with penetration were very clearly not the same as before the SSRIs and the orgasms also lost some quality.
I then discovered there were more people complaining of permanent sexual dysfunction after taking antidepressants, it's called Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction. Here's some info if you've never heard about it: https://rxisk.org/post-ssri-sexual-dysfunction-pssd/
In the first year I found out a combo that worked pretty well for me. Cialis + yohimbine. It solved the sexual sensation problem and the ED. Unfortunately Cialis is not advised for me as I have an eye disease and yohimbine is also not very pleasant. It makes me jittery and anxious.
I stopped using ED drugs. Six years have passed. No improvements. In fact things got worse as now I have soft glans and I don't remember having it on the onset of my ED. I had a minor cow-girl trauma incident, a couple of months into the onset of my ED. Could that have aggravated my ED and caused the soft glans?
I don't know if I've improved in terms of sexual sensation and orgasm or if it's just the fact that six years later you forget what your baseline was. Anyway, I'm not concerned about it anymore. With ED though, I still am.
My ED is not 100%. I can have sex with my girlfriend most days, but the quality of it is not great. I tend to stick to missionary because it's the best way to guarantee I won't lose my erection. Even so, I do tend to lose it if I do the stop/make-out/start again trick that we men use to make it last more time. So what happens is I tend to ejaculate quickly, knowing that if I pull out it's likely I won't get it up again.
When I masturbate I'm half-erect most of the time but I can still have an orgasm so I don't care.
It's pretty clear I'll have ED for the rest of my life so it's time for me to take control of it. I'll do a Doppler ultrasound soon and my urologist is willing to let me try Caverject. I've tried Vitaros recently with mixed results but I don't think it will keep me satisfied long-term.
My only concern with caverject is fibrosis and the likely possibility that it will work for the shaft but do nothing for the soft glans, but we'll see! Maybe MUSE would be a better possibility for me since it works best for the glans and I would avoid the risk of fibrosis.
Anyway, long text, see you soon
