Golfing Joke
Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 4:02 pm
Tom & John were getting ready to tee off when George asks if he could join them since his partner didn’t show. “Sure” say Tom & John. As they go through a few holes chatting John finally asks George where he’s from and what he does for a living. George tells them he’s from California and his occupation is a hit man.
“What?” both Tom & John exclaim! “What the hell.”
“Easy” George says, “I’m on vacation, no shooting anyone unless I have to.”
“Have to?” John says.
“Yea, I keep my equipment handy, just in case.” George says.
“So, you have your gun with you?” John asks.
“Yes. See how my golf bag is set up to carry my equipment? My rifle and scope will let me put a hole in a quarter a mile away.” George tells them.
“Whoa, I got to see that scope George” John says.
George pulls the scope out and John says, “My house is just behind that clearing at the end of these two long holes, think I could see it from here?” “No problem” George says as he hands John the scope.
John starts looking through the scope and says “Yep, there’s my house. This scope is awesome, I can see in the bedroom window. What! WTF. There’s my wife and she’s naked. Wait! What? It’s my damn neighbor Clyde. I never trusted that asshole. He’s naked too. Dammit, I suspected the wife has been screwing him. That mouthy bitch.” “So, George, how much to shoot someone?
George replies, “It’s $1,000 a shot. Want me to take out those two?”
John says “No, let’s have some fun. Shoot my wife in her bitchy mouth. Shoot that asshole Clyde in his dick. That will teach them a lesson.”
George gets his rifle ready and starts scoping the targets. He’s taking a long time and John says, “What the hell George, shoot them already.”
George says, “Don’t rush me, I’m trying to save you $1,000.”
“What?” both Tom & John exclaim! “What the hell.”
“Easy” George says, “I’m on vacation, no shooting anyone unless I have to.”
“Have to?” John says.
“Yea, I keep my equipment handy, just in case.” George says.
“So, you have your gun with you?” John asks.
“Yes. See how my golf bag is set up to carry my equipment? My rifle and scope will let me put a hole in a quarter a mile away.” George tells them.
“Whoa, I got to see that scope George” John says.
George pulls the scope out and John says, “My house is just behind that clearing at the end of these two long holes, think I could see it from here?” “No problem” George says as he hands John the scope.
John starts looking through the scope and says “Yep, there’s my house. This scope is awesome, I can see in the bedroom window. What! WTF. There’s my wife and she’s naked. Wait! What? It’s my damn neighbor Clyde. I never trusted that asshole. He’s naked too. Dammit, I suspected the wife has been screwing him. That mouthy bitch.” “So, George, how much to shoot someone?
George replies, “It’s $1,000 a shot. Want me to take out those two?”
John says “No, let’s have some fun. Shoot my wife in her bitchy mouth. Shoot that asshole Clyde in his dick. That will teach them a lesson.”
George gets his rifle ready and starts scoping the targets. He’s taking a long time and John says, “What the hell George, shoot them already.”
George says, “Don’t rush me, I’m trying to save you $1,000.”
