My New Diet
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2022 11:04 am
I was standing in line waiting to check out for forever it seemed like. The only thing in my cart was a 50 pound bag of dog food. The nice lady behind me asked what kind of dog I had, but since I was annoyed at the long wait I decided to have some fun.
Told her the dog food was for me. It’s my new diet. Dog food is nutritionally complete and I put a handful of the nuggets in my pocket and eat a few when I get hungry. That way I never find myself eating too much.
Of course, the lady asked if the diet works. Told her I was just starting the diet again but that I lost fifty pounds the last time I was on it.
Wow she says, and by now I had most of the folks waiting in line listening in. Why did you stop the diet if it was working so well, she asks.
Told her I had to quit the diet when I ended up in the hospital with tubes coming out of my body everywhere. The lady gasped and asked if that was due to the dog food diet. Told her no, it wasn’t the dog food diet. I was standing on the corner waiting on a ride when I saw a real cute poodle across the street, and I didn’t see the bus coming when I took off after her.
Told her the dog food was for me. It’s my new diet. Dog food is nutritionally complete and I put a handful of the nuggets in my pocket and eat a few when I get hungry. That way I never find myself eating too much.
Of course, the lady asked if the diet works. Told her I was just starting the diet again but that I lost fifty pounds the last time I was on it.
Wow she says, and by now I had most of the folks waiting in line listening in. Why did you stop the diet if it was working so well, she asks.
Told her I had to quit the diet when I ended up in the hospital with tubes coming out of my body everywhere. The lady gasped and asked if that was due to the dog food diet. Told her no, it wasn’t the dog food diet. I was standing on the corner waiting on a ride when I saw a real cute poodle across the street, and I didn’t see the bus coming when I took off after her.
