Postby C_lab34 » Fri Sep 11, 2015 7:04 am
Thanks Gollam and Seeking for the great, informative posts. It really does feel like a brotherhood here, as we're all struggling with very similar rare conditions that most of the world can't relate to, and that we can't openly discuss. Gollam your history, except for the marriage and children, sounds a lot like mine. I knew something was wrong at about 16-17, I still managed to have good sex, even though I was always worried about my performance, and I need pills to have decently hard and durable erections. I too think that some of my relationships have ended, at least in part, because of my ED. Not so much from the actual physical state of things, but because of the mood it often put me in, which is basically what you said. So I get that. I have also spent, probably the more accurate word would be wasted, hours and hours researching treatment and reading testimonials. I read through a hundred page thread on Geng Long Hsu, the vein stripping pioneer who designed a radical version of the ligation surgery. At first I was filled with hope and dreamed of getting the procedure, but as I looked into it further and thought more on it, it didn't seem viable. It seems to be such a brutal surgery, with absolutely no guarantee of improvement or cure. And now this sclerotherapy, while much more mild and less invasive surgically, also gave me initial hope which is already fading. I do not at all mean to denigrate Seeking or Razor or anyone else who has given this a chance. I commend their bravery. But honestly I don't know if I have it in me to have a surgery that doesn't help much, or not at all.
It's the psychological effect that, as Seeking has already mentioned, has taken such a toll, and that makes even attempting to cure this condition such a burden. The truth is that I will most likely never know what a natural, full, long lasting erection feels like, and the years of failure and fear of failure are so deeply ingrained into my mind that only the absolute dependability of a mechanically assisted erection from and implant could give me the complete relief I desire. Even then, it will be downright strange to not have to tend to my erection constantly, and I will need time to psychologically adjust and become, what really will be in some ways, a new person. If I am "cured" through an experimental surgery with a poor track record and no long term success rates, even with collapsed veins it will still be my anatomy and functioning, which I have over the years learned to not trust. All that being said, I really do hope that those that have undergone this procedure will achieve at least some satisfaction.