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Hi guys,

I really like the friendliness of this forum and the issues shared here. Never thought I'd be asking for help but I'm hoping - in a nutshell - that anyone can commiserate with me and also advise on whether going for an implant now is a good thing or should I wait? Unfortunately the problem is time is of the essence for me.

Background is that I'm in my early 30s and been having ED. It started to slow down from 18-24 months or so back and then from there now I can't get hard at all. No morning erections, no random erections, no porn does it, semi-hard during sex etc.

I've taken Viagra, Cialis and other pills like Green Ant, including supplements like Vimax and Tongkat Ali, Gingko etc but hasn't done much. I get some lift off but very little hardening. And now, some of these drugs donothing at all.

Last year I ended a relationship with someone who never really wanted to have sex for some reason, which meant I went for almost a year with barely any sexual contact with her. We broke up after I decided I couldn't lift a celibate life and I really don't believe in straying and cheating. After that I lived a very strange, emotionless life with no colour, loss of appetite and just concentrated on work.

However this year, over the past couple of months I met someone wonderful who's gorgeous, funny and great, like a dream. And the best part of it is, she fell for me too. She has a bit of a healthy past sexual history (but safe) because she's really good-looking and funny (the kind both men and women turn their heads for), and wants to settle down with someone like me into a long-term relationship, something that fits me as well. She wants to have kids with me.


We hit on all cylinders in the emotional and mental department but due to my problem libido, I haven't been able to fuck her, something she really enjoys and made me realise her sexual appetite is quite overwhelming -- which would be a great thing otherwise. I get horny too with her but am completely unable to perform in fucking her, aside from oral and hands. We've decided on sex toys to bring her to orgasm.

This has started to cause issues in the relationship, and I'm getting stressed out thinking about her straying to fulfill his needs. I even told her that if she needed to get laid elsewhere, she just needs to tell me and we'll discuss the parameters but she insists that's not what she wants. However, knowing her appetite, this is something filling me with insecurity. All I want is for her to be happy, and fulfilling only one function of the relationship isn't enough for me or for her.

I really need to get professional help. I've never felt this helpless before. How can someone go through life not being able to perform their sexual function? It seems so cruel to imagine, especially having someone like her in my life. We spoke and she said she can be like this for 2 years, but will find it hard to stay beyond if the problem becomes so bad that we can't even achieve penetration (let alone satisfy her). I understand that her biological clock is ticking, and I want nothing more than a future with her. I don't quite know why the cruel irony of having a vivacious woman fall for me, when I can't perform.

Please guys, I'm desperate and depressed. If I can't make this relationship work because of this issue, I can't imagine even bothering with any relationship anymore after this and I feel completely humiliated and lacking in confidence.

I just need to know if there's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm seeing the urologist this week. From what I read, the satisfaction with inflatable implants is somewhat good. I can take 4 months of this relationship to get there, but my constant worry is there's an infection, how much longer can this take and set this beautiful relationship back again

I'm so sorry if I rambled. It's 4AM here and I can't sleep. Not for awhile now.

Congratulations on you partner!
I think we all feel what you feel and can understand how disappointing all of this can be.
It's good that you are getting professional help, I am too.
Just remember you are suffering from a health problem and you are getting treated. As simple as that.

If you have a venous leak, only an implant will help you, but there are many other reasons (trauma, low testosterone)
I am only 22 years old and have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. Go to a very good urologist and there is a solution. For me a implant is the solution

Heybro, I know it is a very hard thing to deal with, but you got to hang in there. You have a woman that is will to deal with your problem an that's a great start.
There are injections you can take before sex, bUT from what i have heard the effects wear off Seems to me that an implementation may be your only long term solution.
I would say have the conversation with her and go see a Urologist about getting an implant. She been with you this long I'm sure she will continue the Journey with you. there is light at the end of this tunnel my friend. there are tons of men that are enjoying sexual intercourse with their partners with an implant don't be afraid just speak to her about it and move forward. you're only wasting time in my opinion. I've dealt with this for over 10 years don't make the same mistake

Make sure your urologist specializes in male sexual function. You are on the right path. You will find a solution.