32 and ED since 2 years. On and Off PE. On verge of divorce.

[southpaw]

Hi everyone.
I am so confused right now and no doctor has been able to help. I have been suffering from ED since 2 years now. But my PE has been coming and going simce teenage. Sometimes i am done in 4-6 mints and sometimes in seconds. Now, since about 1 year; i have been going off in less than a minute and sometimes even in <10 thrusts; but never more than a minute now.
ED issue started slowly 2 years ago after i had a severe depression period (this was when i was diagnosed with azoospermia) and has been persistent till then.
Now cialis 5mg is really helpful in maintaining erections but head of my penis is never hard. It’s always soft although shaft is rock hard when erect. And 1 out of 10 times if penis head gets hard, it severely hurts and be painful as it rubs against vagina during penetration. that pain causes erection to go soft an if it doesn’t, I immediately ejaculate.
My wife has been supportive emotionally for well over an year but since last year, she has maintained a distance from me and she is always sad and hurtful. She is against any kind of assisted erection, even with cialis too (she doesn’t know i use cialis). I tried to talk her into letting me use medication but she only wants natural erections like i had before these issues. My married life has been ruined and she doesn’t get happy now matter how hard i try to make her happy in any other matter of life. She hasn’t divorced yet cz we have a 3 month old very beautiful son together via IVF.
Now i am suicidal and really depressed due to

1. ED
2. Soft penis head even with cialis
3. Painful and hurtful penis head if it gets hard
4. PE.

Really need some guidance, specifically about what’s wrong with my penis head?

[Old Guy]

You really need to consult a men's sexual health urologist. Sounds like your wife needs to come with and get educated. ED is a medical issue just as much as arthritis or heart problems. It needs to be fixed.

[wolfpacker]

Agreed that your wife needs to come into understanding that ED is a medical issue, and pills like Cialis are a treatment. If you got cancer would she want you to not get treatment, and instead just hope to be "naturally" cancer free? No, you would get the most effective treatment you can and enjoy life.

[southpaw]

Agreed that your wife needs to come into understanding that ED is a medical issue, and pills like Cialis are a treatment. If you got cancer would she want you to not get treatment, and instead just hope to be "naturally" cancer free? No, you would get the most effective treatment you can and enjoy life.

Agreed. I have been trying to counsel her to go to psychiatrist/men’s sexual health expert but she denies everything. Anyhow, I’ll keep trying that cz i do love her so fucking much.

However; can you please guide me on the issue of soft penis head despite cialis and rock hard shaft? Is it common? May it be due to some injury etc?

PS: i used to be hyper active sexually, going several rounds a day before this ED ruined me.

[bldoink]

... My wife has been supportive emotionally for well over an year but since last year, she has maintained a distance from me and she is always sad and hurtful... My married life has been ruined and she doesn’t get happy now matter how hard i try to make her happy in any other matter of life. She hasn’t divorced yet cz we have a 3 month old very beautiful son together via IVF.

I'm not a medical professional of any kind. Anything I post is based on my own experiences at best and hallucination and/or delusions at worst. Remember, internet forum advice is likely worth what you paid for it, or worse. Always ask your doctor and follow his/her advice.

You have some ED issues that would be stressful and depressing to anyone. But I'm not going to give any feeble advice there other than you'll have to work through that patiently. I truely wish you success in that endeavor. I pray you find a solution that you both find acceptable.

However, in spite of your personal ED struggles, I think you need to man up! You have a new infant son that requires your attention on him, not you. Just as importantly and probably even more critical at this time, is your wife that sounds to me to be struggling from postpartum depression. She needs you, your love, patience and attention and very likely professional help. Postpartum depression is a very real thing and is fairly common in new mothers. It doesn't always go away without intervention. She needs you.

Postpartun Depression: https://www.webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/

[southpaw]

...

You have some ED issues that would be stressful and depressing to anyone. But I'm not going to give any feeble advice there other than you'll have to work through that patiently. I truely wish you success in that endeavor. I pray you find a solution that you both find acceptable.

However, in spite of your personal ED struggles, I think you need to man up! You have a new infant son that requires your attention on him, not you. Just as importantly and probably even more critical at this time, is your wife that sounds to me to be struggling from postpartum depression. She needs you, your love, patience and attention and very likely professional help. Postpartum depression is a very real thing and is fairly common in new mothers. It doesn't always go away without intervention. She needs you.

Postpartun Depression: https://www.webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/

Thanks. I have been visiting urologists here and there but none of them seem to be effective. Can u refer me some mens sexual health expert whom i can consult online.

[bldoink]

I guess I wasn't clear in my post. I'd highly suggest rereading it, and NOT doing selective reading, but reading the entire post. Yes you have issues, but at the moment, it appears your wife has some too, which she may not realize. She needs her own doctor follow up with her OB/GYN for what appears to be postpartum depression based on your post. I'd suggest you also attend that doctor visit with her.

Helping with the baby, will better help her, and in turn help her support you. You didn't say whether the birth was difficult; i.e. C section or natural delivery. In either case, if it's her first birth, she may have torn vaginal muscles and have stitches (DIL did) that need time to heal, excaberating her issues. Plus she's no doubt sleep deprived as you may be too. You also don't say whether she's breast feeding or bottle feeding. If the first, that's normally every two hours, even in the wee hours, since you can't sub for her. Also remember that at this very early stage of motherhood it is common and normal for a new mother to have absolutely no interest in sexual activity and very likely doesn't even want to think about the subject.

So yes, you do need to focus on your child, but also on your wife. Wait to stress about your ED issues until after your wife has passed her post natal crisis. Also keep in mind that life just isn't the same after children and never will be. You will no longer be the center of her attention, especially while your son is an infant. You both obviously played a part in creating that issue. And the cycle of life spins on!

I'm not saying that you shouldn't want to make progress on your ED issues. Just remember that those issues are currently secondary and not on your wife's radar. And if I may continue with the radar theme. I'll note that her air traffic control center is currently heavily overwhelmed.

[Bambino09]

Ponte hacer ejercicio tal vez tienes debiles los músculos, tal vez sea falta de concentración, miedo o estrés. Aquí estamos para apoyarte.

[AllHailTed]

Hi everyone.
I am so confused right now and no doctor has been able to help. I have been suffering from ED since 2 years now. But my PE has been coming and going simce teenage. Sometimes i am done in 4-6 mints and sometimes in seconds. Now, since about 1 year; i have been going off in less than a minute and sometimes even in <10 thrusts; but never more than a minute now.
ED issue started slowly 2 years ago after i had a severe depression period (this was when i was diagnosed with azoospermia) and has been persistent till then.
Now cialis 5mg is really helpful in maintaining erections but head of my penis is never hard. It’s always soft although shaft is rock hard when erect. And 1 out of 10 times if penis head gets hard, it severely hurts and be painful as it rubs against vagina during penetration. that pain causes erection to go soft an if it doesn’t, I immediately ejaculate.
My wife has been supportive emotionally for well over an year but since last year, she has maintained a distance from me and she is always sad and hurtful. She is against any kind of assisted erection, even with cialis too (she doesn’t know i use cialis). I tried to talk her into letting me use medication but she only wants natural erections like i had before these issues. My married life has been ruined and she doesn’t get happy now matter how hard i try to make her happy in any other matter of life. She hasn’t divorced yet cz we have a 3 month old very beautiful son together via IVF.
Now i am suicidal and really depressed due to

1. ED
2. Soft penis head even with cialis
3. Painful and hurtful penis head if it gets hard
4. PE.

Really need some guidance, specifically about what’s wrong with my penis head?

Hey man, based on what you wrote in here and the other thread about frequent urination it sounds like you might be dealing with a pelvic floor issue. I'd recommend booking an appointment with a physio who specialises in pelvic floor dysfunction, they'll be able to diagnose you and take things from there.