Life Long PE - PLEASE HELP

[downindumps]

Hi,

I am a 42 year old married man who suffers with life-long PE.

I am terribly embarrased about this and desperately need help.

My wife of almost 20 years does not complain. I am able to satisy her with my fingers, etc..., but I know that real intercourse involves thrusting which I am not capable of doing and as a result feel terribly horrible about myself.

This began all the way in the beginning from day one and greatly impacts our relationship because I feel like a nothing. I also tend to avoid intimacy with her since I know I will invariably feel let down afterwards.

Enough!! 20 years is enough!!!! I am now coming out and once and for all, want to heal this illness. I want to be normal and have real intimacy.

Any and all guidance would be greatly appreciated!!

[downindumps]

Hi,

I have just made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in this area. I just wanted to know if this is the right direction or should I be seeing a medical doctor.

By the way, I have mentioned this concern to my regular doctor a number of times over the years, but he just brushed it away. Additionally, I was also checked out by a Urologist a number of years ago, and he said there is nothing physically wrong with me. I have also told a few therapists about this over the last 10 years and and they too brushed it away.

Please, please if there is anyone out there that can truly be of practical help, I would so very much appreciate it!

[JDavid]

Earlier response edited.
Some antidepressants in the serotonin reuptake inhibitor category are well known for causing delayed ejaculation. Paxil is particulalry notorious for this side effect that usually is a treatment problem. I've heard many guys complain that they "Cannot come" on Paxil. They added that their wives "loved it!" However, this "problematic side effect" could work to your advantage. I doubt your regular doctor or a urologist would want to prescribe a psychiatric medication "off label" but a psychiatrist might. You could always try talking with your family doctor about this idea. He/she might go along and it's a far from drastic intervention.

[Frank Talk Admin]

This IS a medical issue and it needs a two pronged approach. You need medical intervention to stop your self defeating thought cycle. then, once that downward spiral is under control, move on to therapeutic treatment. Eventually, you wean yourself off the meds
I work with men clinically with PE almost every day. PLEASE be careful with this therapist. What is their general approach? If they mention the squeeze method, run like hell.

Once again, family doctors don't know anything about sexual medicine...and NEITHER DO UROLOGISTS. ED and sexual issues are never part of a urologists training. A uro is a surgeon. Don't go to them for sexual help. You need to find a men's sexual medicine specialist. Where do you live?
Paul

[downindumps]

Hi, Thank you SO much for your reply! I live in New York. Can you recommend a doctor? Thank you so much!!

[tomas1]

My story has a lot of mental issues in it, but it's my story.
When I was dating my wife and we became intimate, I always came almost as soon as I got in.
She could have an orgasm even without penetration, so it really didn't seem to affect our relationship.
I had been with pros in Korea and Japan and it hadn't been a problem then.
I think I was just so excited that it happened too quickly.

Fast forward to recently:
I had been taking orals for over 10 years and never had a problem with them.
Walmart doubled the price of Levitra and I know it was the policy of the goddam drug companies.
I bought some usually good counterfeit Levitra in Mexico and it refused to get any results.
Next, I got some generic Viagra online and even with 100mg, the same result.
That's when I decided to try injections. I'm convinced the uro gave me a way too weak dose since it's obvious that he's deathly afraid of Priapism.
I've been increasing the dosage every try and the only success I've had was when adding 50mg of the Viagra.
I'm pretty sure that my mind made a lot of this happen. I wish I could find the right dosage where I don't need any other meds to make it happen.
I'll talk to the uro when I renew my prescription. I'm just half way through my first batch.

I'm also pretty sure that the orals would work now, but I'm determined to get the injections to work, At least I no longer have a fear of injecting.

By the way, I got 29gauge syringes at Walmart and I looked it up and they are just .001 thicker than 30gauge jobs.

[boner69]

Once again, family doctors don't know anything about sexual medicine...and NEITHER DO UROLOGISTS. ED and sexual issues are never part of a urologists training. A uro is a surgeon. Don't go to them for sexual help. You need to find a men's sexual medicine specialist. Where do you live?
Paul

How does a person go about finding a sexual medicine specialist who isn't a scam artist and who won't charge an arm and leg?

[downindumps]

Hi, I am not sure what you mean by a men's sexual medicine specialist who is not a "scam artist". Aside from the Boston Medical Group, which you should stay away from, there are most definitely good doctors out there. Are you by chance located in the New York tri-state area? If yes, I can refer you to a specialist who is known internationally as being the top in this field, is extremely results-oriented, has an incredibly phenomenal team assisting him, and, just as important, is a true gentleman. You will absolutely not find a nicer person. Both the doctor as well as his entire team are so incredibly nice and sincerely and genuinely want to truly help each individual. If you are not located in the tri-state area, there is someone I know who is intimately involved in this field and knows quite a few top sexual medicine specialists throughout the united states who are of the finest stock. Perhaps, if you can tell us where you are located, we can recommend a good doctor for you. Be in touch. Please keep the faith! There are doctors that can truly help you.

[mandangalo]

Hi, guys. When I got a vasectomy a few years back, I asked the urologist, whom I was referred to by my doctor, what I could do about PE. Mind you, I also have ED. He said, so easily, oh I have the solution for that. He gave me a presription for Sertraline(brand name Zoloft). It's one of those drugs whose patent has expired and been around long enough that you get like 30 of thme for $8 to $10.

They were 50mg. I came but it was almost impossible. Sometimes my then-wife would not want any more so I ended up not having an orgasm. I was not all that bothered since it was nice to be able to just keep penetrating for as long as needed for the woman to have an orgasm. She was able to orgasm with penetration. In fact, every woman I've been with has been able to. The right bangin' technique helps in that area. Of course, I need to be on some ED pill for the erection to not go down.

I had to lower the dose down to 25 mg and it was perfect. You can either buy the 25mg pills or split a 50mg in half. If I haven't had sex in a while, 25mg may not be enough. I will still take longer than without it but on those days I will get two 25mg pills but split one. That gives me a does of 37 and a half mg. A full 50 is almost always too much for me unless I'm with a woman that takes forever to orgasm but that eventually does. Sertraline has allowed me to have sex for a long period many, many times now. It was a life-saver in the PE arena.

NOW ONE BIG DETAIL: At least for me, and this is a huge negative, I have to take it approximately 8 hours before I'm going to have sex. This means it basically only works if you are with someone that knows you well already as in someone you are dating and not a one-night-stand or someone new even if you want a long-term relationship with her. I have taken the pill MANY times for nothing because sex didn't happen. I would try to be spontaneous not saying to the woman "Hey, are we going to do it tonight so I can take this pill?" I get no side-effects at these doses.

[softtohard]

Hi, guys. When I got a vasectomy a few years back, I asked the urologist, whom I was referred to by my doctor, what I could do about PE. Mind you, I also have ED. He said, so easily, oh I have the solution for that. He gave me a presription for Sertraline(brand name Zoloft). It's one of those drugs whose patent has expired and been around long enough that you get like 30 of thme for $8 to $10.

They were 50mg. I came but it was almost impossible. Sometimes my then-wife would not want any more so I ended up not having an orgasm. I was not all that bothered since it was nice to be able to just keep penetrating for as long as needed for the woman to have an orgasm. She was able to orgasm with penetration. In fact, every woman I've been with has been able to. The right bangin' technique helps in that area. Of course, I need to be on some ED pill for the erection to not go down.

I had to lower the dose down to 25 mg and it was perfect. You can either buy the 25mg pills or split a 50mg in half. If I haven't had sex in a while, 25mg may not be enough. I will still take longer than without it but on those days I will get two 25mg pills but split one. That gives me a does of 37 and a half mg. A full 50 is almost always too much for me unless I'm with a woman that takes forever to orgasm but that eventually does. Sertraline has allowed me to have sex for a long period many, many times now. It was a life-saver in the PE arena.

NOW ONE BIG DETAIL: At least for me, and this is a huge negative, I have to take it approximately 8 hours before I'm going to have sex. This means it basically only works if you are with someone that knows you well already as in someone you are dating and not a one-night-stand or someone new even if you want a long-term relationship with her. I have taken the pill MANY times for nothing because sex didn't happen. I would try to be spontaneous not saying to the woman "Hey, are we going to do it tonight so I can take this pill?" I get no side-effects at these doses.

Do you take Zoloft every day or on demand?!
I got SSRI orals but another brand. Doctor told me to take them on demand but I cant feel any difference at all.....
Is every day treatment the way to go?