FrankTalk.org

Is there any gay or bi member under 40 who's considering / already had an implant?

I am 28 and considering an implant but frightened that my future partners won't like it and leave me

Welcome to the forum, oaaaak and thanks for trusting us with your question.

There are a number of gay and bisexual members here and none of their posts I have read have indicated any prejudice among their partners against having sex with an implanted lover. Not one.

I have seen worry from heterosexual men about how women feel about an implanted lover. I suppose that gays are more practical and women put (or their male partners think they do) more stock in the visual and tactile feedback their man's sponteneous erection gives. That is, women get validation from creating an erection in their man. My suspicion is that homosexual men are not burdened with that particular view of their lovers' erection.

A working erection (no matter how it is achieved) seems to be more likely to KEEP a lover than drive him away. A non-working penis, I think, is more likely to do that.

As far as getting an implant is concerned, please do not jump the gun. An implant is a very good treatment for E.D. but is is no cure. If you can still get erections adequate for sex, you do not want to risk losing that (this happens, but rarely) to medical misadventure if pills or injections or even Vacuum Erection Devices (VEDs) can suffice. But that is just m opinion.

oaaaak wrote:Is there any gay or bi member under 40 who's considering / already had an implant?

I am 28 and considering an implant but frightened that my future partners won't like it and leave me

I thought about my earlier answer. Too long. WAY too long.

I do not believe any gay man would leave you because you have plastic in your dick.

There would have to be some other reason.

Do not worry about what is in your penis. Take care of how you use it. And take care of your lover's feelings. All will be well.

Lost Sheep wrote:

oaaaak wrote:Is there any gay or bi member under 40 who's considering / already had an implant?

I am 28 and considering an implant but frightened that my future partners won't like it and leave me

I thought about my earlier answer. Too long. WAY too long.

I do not believe any gay man would leave you because you have plastic in your dick.

There would have to be some other reason.

Do not worry about what is in your penis. Take care of how you use it. And take care of your lover's feelings. All will be well.

Maybe people over 60s are more likely to understand the situation of ED and will accept the fact that their partner is having an implant.

But what I feel is that someone in my age, in 20s or 30s, won't understand the situation that I am in as it is very rare and will think that pumping for an erection is weird.

Also, gay men enjoy touching each other's balls when having sex so they will be freaked to feel the third testicles inside the scrotum.

oaaaak wrote:Maybe people over 60s are more likely to understand the situation of ED and will accept the fact that their partner is having an implant.

But what I feel is that someone in my age, in 20s or 30s, won't understand the situation that I am in as it is very rare

You may be right about that. But I believe how one introduces one's partner to the fact of an implant has the greatest effect on his (or her) acceptance of the implanted penis.

I have met (on Franktalk) a few gay men in their 20s and 30s whose partners fully accept the implant. Of course, I think those men were in relationships before the implant, so there is that factor. A new partner (either long term or short) might take a different vies, so I take your point.

oaaaak wrote:and will think that pumping for an erection is weird.

Yes, but the function of the implant goes a LOnnng way to overcoming the weirdness

oaaaak wrote:Also, gay men enjoy touching each other's balls when having sex so they will be freaked to feel the third testicles inside the scrotum.

My girlfriend enjoys fondling my balls and is not bothered by my scrotum's extra contents. She is more open-mined than most women, though. I believe sexuality in humans, homosexuals and heterosexuals have more in common than have differences. Just my opinion.

oaaaak wrote:Is there any gay or bi member under 40 who's considering / already had an implant?

I am 28 and considering an implant but frightened that my future partners won't like it and leave me

Another opinion:

Any partner who would reject you because you needed (or have) a medical prosthesis to have sex or make love is not someone you want to invest time and emotional energy in.

i am bi and considering an implant, being able to use my penis during a sexual encounter would be an enormous boost to my quality of life. if somebody has a problem with it, i would show them the door.

besides, for most of my future encounters i will not tell them except when asked. its nothing they should be concerned about. when in a relationship i probably will bring it up in passing and hope they dont get too curious lol.

28 years old and also bi here

In my limited experience, I feel that men are more focused on another man's physique (and penis obviously), whereas women might be more interested in a romantic connection and care less about the technicalities. Then again, that might just be because I have only been doing hookups with men, and relationships with women.

Really, now that I think about it, there should be a dating site for gay men with ED! Our greatest fear is usually to disappoint our partner. Dating someone else with the same issues takes away that problem because you probably both wouldn't mind getting creative with toys, implants or just other ways of being intimate.

I guess it depends on where you are from.
Here in Belgium I just Googled for one in my area, and found a pretty good one nearby.
Definitely not all of them are equally skilled though ("psychologists" here can differ a lot in their studies/training); the one I found also happened to be a professor in psychology/sexology at a university.
That being said, I find that it benefits my mood only short-term, and has no real impact on sexual performance.

I'm curious though, why do you think your issues are psychological?

PSSDorAmINormal wrote:

noot1991 wrote:
Really, now that I think about it, there should be a dating site for gay men with ED! Our greatest fear is usually to disappoint our partner. Dating someone else with the same issues takes away that problem because you probably both wouldn't mind getting creative with toys, implants or just other ways of being intimate.

I agree that sounds great. I always wish to meet others that know a thing or two. By the way how did you find a good sexologist? I ask because I think some of my issues and hesitancy are psychological