What have I done

[tampagay]

I'm on my fourth day after surgery. I have an 18 cm Titan Touch implant and when the bandages are off I can locate the pump but not the deflate button. The condescending nurse at the doctor's office insists I am not inflated but my penis/cylinders are rock hard. The swelling where they inserted the reservoir prevents a good measurement, but I estimate about 4 inches. Prior to the RP I was 6.75 and after nearly 6 years I could vacuum pump to about 6 inches. My assumption is flaccid and erect lengths will be very close to the same. Plus the loss of length has bunched up the skin behind my glans, but at least it no longer looks like I am uncircumcised. So that's a 40% loss of length. I don't know if it's the swelling, but my penis sticks straight out making a tent in my pants which is not going to work at the conservative firm where I am employed. The only good thing so far is that on day 4 I am almost totally pain free.
The guy I am seeing insists size isn't an issue and frankly he's the first person to give me an orgasm in 6 years when I was still impotent, but I don't know. Of course this happens to be when his cousin graduates college and he is obligated to be out of town.
I never considered myself endowed before, but now I am embarrassed.
ED was easy to explain, I had cancer, surgery caused this, I am cured so there are costs. Life is better than death.
Starting to think removal is a good choice.
Of course I have been confined to my apartment for five days now with orders not to drive so I have cabin fever and too much time to think. Might be time for another netflix binge watch.

Guys I need a pep talk.

[tampagay]

Today is a much better day, I think yesterday was just an off day. I got some replies on another post that indicate it will be a while before anything looks close to normal again and during that time I stand to gain quite a bit.

[dg_moore]

Indeed - many guys are understandably in a big hurry, but it can take a while for everything to settle in, sometimes weeks and sometimes months. You just need to get through the first few weeks, and then you can be cycling regularly and looking for length to be regained.

[rglassva]

Just noticed this post - hope things are a lot better now. . . been a while. . .
I go in for my implant in two days. . . any tips/suggestions/recommendations you'd like to pass along? now that you're a couple of months out?

Rick

[tampagay]

Things are vastly better! Hang in there. It gets better. Just keep everything clean and be patient. It's hard as hell to pump initially but it gets easier with use. pm me if you have any questions.

[tampagay]

So here I am at 5 months 6 days post op. I have a sex life again and I am at 5-5.25 inches. The parts seem to be settled in I have a bit of a hang when deflated and I can pretty much tuck it where I want inside my briefs. The cylinders and pump have gotten much less stiff and are quite pliable now. A good inflation takes 10-15 complete squeezes and I find if I wait a while after that I can get a few more in. Sex is still a bit awkward from the loss of length but I am adjusting. I have been able to experience simultaneous orgasms with my partner on one occassion which for me is a rare treat. It's not unusual for my to need to withdraw and take things into my own hands to finish off. This is a side effect of Cymbalta an antidepressant I take. The package insert describes it as abnormal orgasm. One of the others I was on in the past described it as delayed ejaculation. It's a pretty well known side effect. The totally awesome thing was my partner just crawled right back on top and had himself a big ol' time until he climaxed. That would have never happened pre-RP. The confidence I have regained alone is worth every bit of hassle it took to get here.

Knowing what I know now, I should have had this done a year after the RP when the injections didn't work.

[Firmaware]

Hey, glad to hear you're doing much better finally and you are happy with your decision.
Question for you: How long did you wait after your RP to get the implant ?

[tampagay]

Far too long, 5 years 9 months.

[Cuba55]

I recently discovered this blog and I'm curious to know what did u finally decide to do. Did u have the implant removed and how are u doing?

[gsanders4]

ED is a broad subject that will effect each individual differently. My GP stated me on topical testosterone at 30 and tried multiple supplements with horrible side effections to get an erection wit zero success. I was referred to a urologist that more typical blood tests to test my hormone levels. They have never gone above 350; currently I’m at 261 more than 20 years later. During those twenty years I subjected my body to multiple dosages of testosterone that worked temporarily but never reach full success. I began using the injectble compound when I was 35. I subjected my sex life to a rigid schedule. The compound lasted for hours and after sex u stayed hard until the drugstore off. After 15 years the compound became less effective. The pain of a needle inserted in your penis was not comfortable but at least I got to have sex. The urologist then recommended the implant what he didn’t say was there would be a substantial loss of both length and girth. I lost about 4 inches; just call me pencil dick. The recovery was difficult and the implant uncomfortable. You can pump the implant to make it semi hard but with low Tthete was zero blood flow or desire. I could no longer use theinjectible compound to supplement. The urologist then recommenedinsertin thirteen testosterone time release pellets. They only needed implanting every 4 months. Great huh? Not so much. I suffered a heart attach less than 4 weeks later. The urologist did not get my hemoglobin/hematocrit. My blood had become so thick it occluded all my arteries. I’m luck to talk about it. A year later my Low T remains constant with a semi hard implant. Now I’m seeing a glandular specialist that ran a free testosterone and thyroid tests. My lactate level is too high and my testosterone too low. I just had an MRI of my pituitary gland. The doctor is expecting to find a mass that is blocking communications between my brain and testicles. This may just be my saving grace. Monday I will get news. If this fixes my problem it my fix the low t and ed with no implant. Check out all options. Rising may cost you your life. Ask questions! Don’t accept just one opinion. This is a difficult disorder as a gay man but especially a married gay man my spouse is very supportive.