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These days, for me to ejaculate, it takes roughly an hour of stimulation by my wife, stroking my erection with her hands with some breaks for oral. In spite of using lots of coconut oil for lubrication, I often end up with chafed skin on my penis after we are done. I have been trying various types of skin cream afterwards to help healing. A&D ointment seems to work best; I have also tried Aquaphor and coconut oil. Does anyone have any suggestions for a better skin cream?

Coconut oil is good but there are better lubes. Try Sliquid H2O. There are also other good brands. I don't have a suggestion for a skin creme.

Have you considered different positions that might be able to provide the same or more stimulation to you that involves less stroking?

I don't have any particular positions to suggest, but I do know that different sensations give me different amounts of stimulation that speed up or slow down my orgasmic response.
Perhaps some positions or movements might be able to hit nerves that are less damaged?

I like uberlube. it is a silicon lube. For sore dick I use All natural mens solution made by Active Life. Very soothing. expensive but you don't use much.