A 32 y.o. virgin's 16 year frustration with ED

[Frank Talk Admin]

I highly suspect that you have Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome which was triggered by the trauma in high school. I can't examine you, but that is my guess....I could be totally wrong. Send me a PM and we can talk.

Do you have/had any of these symptoms...EVER. Like within the last 5 years:

Male Pelvic Floor Symptoms
Pain in penis
Scrotum
after ejaculation
Penis Changes - bend-curl-change size
retracts/seem to shrink.
Dead penis
Erectile dysfunction
Anorgasmia
Backache
Headache in Pelvis
Perineal Discomfort (taint)
Tightness/Pain in hips/Thighs
or Abdomen
or groin

Urinary issues
Urgency
Frequency
Stop/start
Weak Stream
dribbling
Incomplete voiding
Pain with urination
Bowel Issues
Constipation
Diarrhea
Incomplete voiding
Constant wiping
Worse when standing?
Sitting?
Lying down?
Riding bicycle
Time of Day
Physical trauma
Stress Trauma

In the mean time, read up on it by looking at these sites:
http://www.malepelvicfloor.com/index.html
http://www.pelvicpainrehab.com/blog/
http://www.harvardprostateknowledge.org ... ents-story
http://www.pelvicpainhelp.com/
http://www.beyondbasicsphysicaltherapy. ... c-pain-men
http://www.pelvicsupport.com/cms/wp-con ... rticle.pdf

[Simbarn]

ED is a complex issue as you have probably discovered from all the reading on the forum you have done recently.
It can be overwhelming. This can be extremely difficult for a young man and I hope you do find support here as we all understand your issue and are here to help.

I read your story with interest and as you are a young man with a relatively sudden development of ED after an infection I would investigate the following:
(I had written this and then I noticed our moderator has also posted something similar which is good).
I see you had a bout of Cystitis before all of this occurred. I realise I have been discussing this topic quite a lot recently but there seems to be a number of people who may have some form of this who post on this forum.
Pelvic floor dysfunction. Cystitis is a known causative factor in pelvic floor issues or spasm. Infections in this area can bring about long lasting problems which may affect erectile function.

As the urologists you have seen have not found any structural abnormalities with your penis, or any other obvious medical issues, I would start to look at something that is not recognised by most of the urology specialty just yet(but is beginning too) and that is an ongoing problem with your pelvic floor muscles. There can be a wide range of symptoms that this issue can present, pain is not always evident but is often a symptom. Sexual numbness and ED can be symptoms as I think ED can be on its own.
The blood and nerve supply to the penis travel a complex journey through the pelvic floor muscles and ligaments. Infection or Cystitis are known by the specialists who work in this area to create possible dysfunctions with how the muscles respond to daily activities.
They can remain in a highly contracted state for many years which can impede blood flow to the area and also put pressure on nerves resulting in either pain, increased unwanted sensitivities or a reduction in sensitivity. Erectile function can be affected.
It is also possible that a form of psychogenic erectile dysfunction also develops when the affected individual senses a reduction in erectile ability from the above further aggravating the ED condition. An anxiety also develops.
You may have also heard of the condition called hard flaccid which is another version of pelvic floor issues. What most people don’t realise is almost one third of the penis is inside the body where it interacts with these pelvic floor muscles and they actually form part of the base of the penis.

Have a look at this video. I find this specialist to be very informative and could be worth contacting to discuss your issue if you are in the US. Dr Susie Gronski.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P86CfBh2xvM
I do not think pain has to be present in order for someone to have erectile issues from a pelvic floor dysfunction.
Our moderator has given you some good links too.

As your ED seems to be occurring throughout all sexual activities including masturbation and even nocturnal erections appear to be affected, I would think there is more than just a psychogenic cause.

[Mazzio]

I think that women under 30 years of age should not waste time with men with ED. At least if the case is severe. There are a lot of healthy men around.

I've had venous leak all my life and I had dreadful experiences with women as a young man. I was a tall and handsome man and had no problem getting girls but every time I went to bed with them I could not perform at all. Finally I turned totally my back to female species. All this happened during the time when there was no pills or injections.

[Lost Sheep]

I think that women under 30 years of age should not waste time with men with ED. At least if the case is severe. There are a lot of healthy men around.

I've had venous leak all my life and I had dreadful experiences with women as a young man. I was a tall and handsome man and had no problem getting girls but every time I went to bed with them I could not perform at all. Finally I turned totally my back to female species. All this happened during the time when there was no pills or injections.

I beg to differ, Mazzio.

Women spend time with men for many reasons and sex may not be the most important one - under 30 or over 30. I have had experience with both. Women who left me because my penis could not perform and women who stuck with me for whatever reason (my sparkling personality, my good looks, my linguistic skills -or is the my cunnilinguistic skills?).

Blanket generalizations are rarely wholly (or even largely) accurate or useful.

[EveningWood]

I think that women under 30 years of age should not waste time with men with ED. At least if the case is severe. There are a lot of healthy men around.

I've had venous leak all my life and I had dreadful experiences with women as a young man. I was a tall and handsome man and had no problem getting girls but every time I went to bed with them I could not perform at all. Finally I turned totally my back to female species. All this happened during the time when there was no pills or injections.

I beg to differ, Mazzio.

Women spend time with men for many reasons and sex may not be the most important one - under 30 or over 30. I have had experience with both. Women who left me because my penis could not perform and women who stuck with me for whatever reason (my sparkling personality, my good looks, my linguistic skills -or is the my cunnilinguistic skills?).

Blanket generalizations are rarely wholly (or even largely) accurate or useful.

Hi Lost Sheep,

Thank you for the encouraging words and I do agree on your perspective on life/sex in general. It's encouraging to know that there are supportive women as well.

Due to my ED I have purposely had very limited experience with partners. What I have seen and Mazzio is probably talking about is that currently most women in their 20s-early 30s are spoiled for choice (In my opinion, due to social media and dating sites). Most of them are immature on that subject and do not have the patience to deal with a man having ED. They simply can switch to another healthy partner from their pool of orbiters.

I am strictly referring to dating, not long term relationships/marriages, in which the erectile problems came a few years after a healthy sex life. It is highly likely that most of the women that had these positive traits that you described are for example late 30s, early-mid 40s, etc. (more mature mentally and emotionally)
Hopefully I either recover fully or find supportive partners in the future.

This is why it is important for me to work and resolve my problems before having a sexual encounter. Simply because an unsuccessful coitus even with an understanding woman can create another mental wall in my head which I would need to overcome. I have created this thread in order to plan everything and have a long term plan for this, as the subject is extremely important to one's mental and physical health.


Take care
EveningWood

[EveningWood]

I highly suspect that you have Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome which was triggered by the trauma in high school. I can't examine you, but that is my guess....I could be totally wrong. Send me a PM and we can talk.

Do you have/had any of these symptoms...EVER. Like within the last 5 years:

Male Pelvic Floor Symptoms
Pain in penis
Scrotum
after ejaculation
Penis Changes - bend-curl-change size
retracts/seem to shrink.
Dead penis
Erectile dysfunction
Anorgasmia
Backache
Headache in Pelvis
Perineal Discomfort (taint)
Tightness/Pain in hips/Thighs
or Abdomen
or groin

Urinary issues
Urgency
Frequency
Stop/start
Weak Stream
dribbling
Incomplete voiding
Pain with urination
Bowel Issues
Constipation
Diarrhea
Incomplete voiding
Constant wiping
Worse when standing?
Sitting?
Lying down?
Riding bicycle
Time of Day
Physical trauma
Stress Trauma

In the mean time, read up on it by looking at these sites:
http://www.malepelvicfloor.com/index.html
http://www.pelvicpainrehab.com/blog/
http://www.harvardprostateknowledge.org ... ents-story
http://www.pelvicpainhelp.com/
http://www.beyondbasicsphysicaltherapy. ... c-pain-men
http://www.pelvicsupport.com/cms/wp-con ... rticle.pdf

Hello Frank Talk Admin and Simbarn,

Many thanks for the points, perspective and useful resources. I will start studying them and others related to the matter.
I have actually read about this in other threads, but did not have enough time to get familiar with all details.

@Frank Talk Admin - I have actually experienced the below:

Male Pelvic Floor Symptoms

- Pain after ejaculation - I think this rarely happens by itself. It happens always if the urinating is shortly or right after the ejaculation.
- Penis changes - my penis is constantly varying in length, girth and bend (sometimes in all three) when flaccid.
- Hard/soft - often having a very weak chub without any stimulation.
- Retraction/shrinkage - it happens from time to time
- Dead penis - unfortunately this happen regularly. I cannot feel my penis while doing regular chores/work. When I hold my penis with my fingers, the sensation comes from the fingers, not the penis.
- Anorgamsia - not sure for a single man, but yes, I almost always need to masturbate 1+ hour with visual stimulation (porn) in order to reach an orgasm. Also, every orgasm has the same sensation, something that was not so before the issue.
- Here I can also add pale forehead - often my penis has a pale forehead, which for me means some blood circulation issues.

Urinary issues
- Pain in the penis while urinating- specifically in the urethra, mostly in the winter
- Weak stream - I beleive I have done a medical test a while back measuring this, showed it was ok. However, it does take time to empty my bladder.
- Stop/start - yes, it occurs when my bladder is not that full
- Here I can add the delay of the start of the actual urination - sometimes it takes time before the stream gets out

Bowel Issues
Not entirely sure, I believe I do not have any of the symptoms.

[ViaSwiss]

The above certainty sounds like CPPS and/or Hard Flaccid.

Basically the muscles of your pelvic floor are dysregulated.

Likely, the PC muscle is spasms and needing to relax. The IC muscle is weak and needs strengthened.

Try the following exercises daily for a few weeks..

Reverse Kegels
Glute Bridges
Bicycles kicks from back
Hindu Squats

Some alpha blockers can help do the relaxation part (they make my blood pressure drop too much tho), however the IC exercises are still needed.

[Mazzio]

I beg to differ, Mazzio.

Women spend time with men for many reasons and sex may not be the most important one - under 30 or over 30. I have had experience with both. Women who left me because my penis could not perform and women who stuck with me for whatever reason (my sparkling personality, my good looks, my linguistic skills -or is the my cunnilinguistic skills?).

Blanket generalizations are rarely wholly (or even largely) accurate or useful.

We are talking about different generations. When I was in my 20's there was no "erectile dysfunction". There was only "impotence". Women or even doctors did no understand why men did not get erection. The diagnose was that it was a mental problem in 90% of the cases. This was about 20 years before Viagra or injections. There was no Internet and nothing in magazines or newspapers about erection problems. In those circumstances it was impossible to talk about the issue with women.

I did not make a generalization. I said that "I think". I still do even the times are different.

[confused95]

I suggest you try VED bro.
Find a serious girl that loves you and make love with her using VED and constriction rings.
When you are fine with that, you can try avoiding the VED and use Viagra.
If the cause is psychological then you could overcome it in this way..
Feel free to contact me if you need any help

[EveningWood]

Hi guys,

Thanks to all for the insight and suggestions.

I recently remembered that there are a few more things that I have forgotten to share (and also the posts were already lengthy).

Below are some additional issues that I have with the reproductive/urinary system:


- Semen in the urine - from time to time, I have cloudy white urine. After the bladder gets depleted, only the semen continues to come out. It's quite thick, as there is no ejaculatory fluid, just sperm. During the urination and 1-3 hours afterwards, I experience pain and discomfort in my urethra (a bit like having needles in it). These are the most obvious cases, since I often have cloudy urine, perhaps with semen as well, but cannot tell for sure. There is no sexual stimulation prior to the urination. Last time this happened was two days ago in the early evening, many hours after waking up.

- Yellow semen - for the last few years, my semen has become yellow. I didn't pay attention to this that much.

- Wound/trauma in the perineum - when I was 7-8 years old, I fell and hit my perineum, resulting in a wound on it. I do not however think that this would lead to ED, as I used to have rock hard spontaneous, nocturnal and morning erections up to the cystitis accident at 17.


I have done some reading on the first two problems, but am curious to know your opinions as well.


Take care
EveningWood