38 yr old male, long time Erectile Dysfunction, need help/guidance

[BillKeel]

Thanks Otter. I do intend on seeing a sexual health therapist as well. The question is finding one, and then finding the finances for one. What do you plan on doing for your own treatment at this point?

[otter17]

It’s true, time and finances are a consideration. The last time I saw a urologist who really had much ED experience, he said “as long as the pills are working, just keep doing that.” So I rode it out for 10 years, getting basically getting refills. Now that I see loss of effectiveness on the horizon, I’m scheduled in a couple months to see an ED specialist near where I live in North Carolina. He is also an implanter with a good reputation. I’m not ready for an implant quite yet I think, but I just want to get his take on my situation and mentally prepare myself. In the meantime, I think I’m going to do a test drive on injections to see how I react and how I like the convenience and effectiveness.
I still get hard enough to have sex on pills, but as the erections become weaker and less automatic, sex has turned stressful and I just think it’s time to try something else.

I actually used viagra and cialis is for years with my now-wife without her ever knowing (I do not recommend going so long). I eventually came clean and she has been amazingly cool and supportive about the whole thing. I actually think there is some value in not unloading all my thoughts and insecurities about my dick on her. I try to keep our sexy time sexy. She knows the basics of things, but I have been going to a therapist every few weeks to work out my more complex feelings and strategies. Also typing things out here seems to be therapeutic as well…

[BillKeel]

Otter, I know what you mean about not putting your burden on a lady. She'll be thinking about it the entire time, and not focusing on herself/you during sex. That's why I always wait until absolutely necessary to tell a woman about my issues. First and foremost, I don't want them to think they are the problem. Some women have been supportive of me, some have ditched me.
I hope you find a way to make sex fun again, which is what it should be. I can't remember the last time I had sex where it was all fun. I always think about when my boner will fail. Hopefully that's something a therapist can help me with. I don't know if an implant is the right answer for us, but perhaps it will be.

[GoodWood]

I have similar symptoms as you. Erections that don’t last, aren’t firm enough, need constant stimulation. Pills for a few years. Now injections for a few years. I seem to be in the home stretch of injections. Implants seem to be on the horizon.

I DO find that wearing a cock ring is really helpful. Since my ED (and it sounds like yours) is due to venous leak, a cock ring slowing the flow of blood out of the penis would help.

So if you haven’t tried them, buy a few from a decent sex shop and see if that helps. There is a recent post about cock rings in the members section.

[BillKeel]

Thanks Goodwood. I'll check out the cock rings. Do you also find that help with premature ejaculation, or have no effect on that?

[will1948]

I am now 74 and Had my implant in 2020. I struggled with the decision to have an implant but I am so glad I did. I started with pills then injections often with a poor result.

I strongly urge you to consider an implant. Best sexual decision of my life.

[bldoink]

.....cock rings. Do you also find that help with premature ejaculation, or have no effect on that?

At the time of climax your balls are supposedly drawn up towards your body. Rings around the balls that restrict the balls from being drawn up supposedly help delay reaching the point of no return. This may involve using wider rings to hold them down.

That's just my general understanding based on information or misinformation I've picked up over the years, probably mostly from sex aid retailers. I have no personal experience with using rings for that purpose as PE is most certainly not one of my issues. Sometimes I wish it was.

Good luck.

[Alan810]

I too, lost vision in my right eye several years ago. I can't say for sure whether it was induced by ED pills, but I was trying several different ones at different time to try to get a decent erection. It occurred one night as I was going to sleep - all of a sudden the right eye went dark. I drove myself to the hospital emergency room which was a couple of minutes away. Their diagnosis was an "Acute Retinal Occlusion" (Stroke caused by plaque breaking off and lodging in the retinal artery. I have a little unclear peripheral vision in that eye, but nothing in the center where I'm focusing. They said I possibly could have saved the eye if I had continuously rubbed it right after it happened - but who knew. They tried to save it by administering drops and rubbing, but it was too late. I never thought much about the cause other than what I was told until reading posts here.

[1380anthony]

Bumping up this thread. Curious if you have considered the implant?

To be honest, I am very concerned about an implant due to it's permanent feature. Also, no more nocturnal erections or natural erections. It's quite a commitment to make to get an implant. I suppose I fear that I would be dissatisfied with it, and then unable to undue.

Same thing here. Im in my 30s and I still have eretions but I lose it when I dont do manual stimulation. I still get morning wood though and that feels cool, but Im already thinking about implant. Sucks!

[Lost Sheep]

Bumping up this thread. Curious if you have considered the implant?

To be honest, I am very concerned about an implant due to it's permanent feature. Also, no more nocturnal erections or natural erections. It's quite a commitment to make to get an implant. I suppose I fear that I would be dissatisfied with it, and then unable to undue.

Same thing here. Im in my 30s and I still have eretions but I lose it when I dont do manual stimulation. I still get morning wood though and that feels cool, but Im already thinking about implant. Sucks!

If you still get morning wood but cannot maintain an erection without constant (and increasingly stronger) stimulation, you sound to me like an excellent candidate for oral medications. They worked for me for a few decades before losing effectiveness and I opted for my implant.