How we perceive sex online as opposed to reality.

[Never_Enough]

Since developing cpps I have become a regular to forums pages and subrddits related t both my condition and the ED it aggravates.

One thing I have found is that guys online - including those with profound ED seem to have a skewered view of sexuality, physical aspects of sex and the psychology of sex.

Possibly due to porn, but also due to unrealistic expectations set by other men that are probably lying.

Firstly when I speak to my friends, most of them in long term relationships they say they have sex between once a fortnight and once a month. They are both happy and generally all get along.

Many of them have also told me they get performance anxiety too, it's very common. Way more than the 1 in 10 or 1 in 5 you might read online.

The there's session length. I've seen several people on Ed reddit bemoaning only being able to last 15 or 20 minutes with the line ' do I have ED'.

Given that sex lasts on average 5 to 6 minutes for healthy couples, then no.

I think anyone here and anyone with any ED would bite your hand off for 15 minutes of fully hard sex.

Where did idea we have to be pounding away for half an hour with half a dozen positions come from?

The vast majority of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex and would much rather spend 30 minutes on foreplay and specifically oral.

There's a obsession with morning wood as well. It's not that common to get regular morning wood into your 30s and if you don't that doesn't mean you have ED. Life is stressful and you aren't 16 anymore.

Then I read someone in their 60s who's wife was 'pissed' if his trimix didn't work.

If you're not mature enough to be sensible by this age then get rid, most women by this time want a caring compassionate life partner as well as romance and would not get frustrated that a man in his 60s wasn't always ready for sex, especially when it's clear he's putting himself out for her.

Again, exception not the rule.

From what I see in real life most want someone who makes them feel like a woman. Care compassion, sexual vibrance, not at all just with a penis.

I also don't say this as an excuse to feel getter about anyone having ED, it is genuinely true ED or not.

Guaruntee if you ask what a lady would prefer... 45 minutes of jackhammering sex with a full hard on or 30 minutes of foreplay, oral and 5 or 10 minutes sex with a decent erection , they would pick the latter.


Obviously I don't speak for all women or couples and there will be exceptions, as I only speak from my experience, but I think far too many men set far too high expectations upon themselves based upon what they think women want and what they see or hear online.

Contrary to that the vast majority of people are not at it like rabbits with perfect erections giving their partners orgasms constantly.

There is a massive disconnect between reality and online


For Reference we are all Around our mid 30s.