What is normal sexual funtioning?

[sogwap]

I know the short answer is what is normal for you is normal.

I was previously married for 25 years to a wife that that had gender identity issues, where I can count on one hand the number of times that she touched me sexually. For the most part she just laid there kept her eyes closed, while I gave her OS, and when she was ready we had 2-3 minutes of intercourse, she never touched me, never gave OS, and always expected me to wear a condom. And refused sex for months and years at a time.

I am now 55 years old. I am recently newly married, to a wonderful woman that except for my ED problems we are generally sexually compatible. About two years ago I could not keep up with my new wife, and my sometimes weak erections brought about Performance Anxiety ED. I now use the three ED meds and am usually able have to have somewhat normal (what ever that is) sex.

Long story short I question what is normal sexual functioning for a health 50 year old male?

How often do you desire sex?
How often do you have sex that results in orgasm for you or your partner?
How long does it take to get an erection that is sustainable for intercourse?
How much and what kind of stimulation do you need for an erection?
How long can you maintain an erection?

One of the disagreements I have with my wife is her part in our sexual functioning.
She says I am responsible for my erections. I agree except I feel she is hesitant to explore all the possibilities. For example she has told me that certain positions to not stimulate her, that it feels like a rubber boot. As a result I am quite conscious about giving her good clitoral stimulation. Yet when I have suggested that I need proper stimulation to have an erection, she balks.
I feel she expects automatic erections. Which is a prerequisite for her to want to proceed with sex. (Is that normal?) I think this would be the equivalent of me expecting her to have an organism without clitoral stimulation, which I know is not going to happen. That's why I bought her, her two favorite vibrators.

So What is normal sexual funtioning?

I am sure I will get a variety of answers, especially on this forum.

Cheers and Happy Erections

[ohohiakane]

My "normal"

Your questions:
1. How often do you desire sex?
2. How often do you have sex that results in orgasm for you or your partner?
3. How long does it take to get an erection that is sustainable for intercourse?
4. How much and what kind of stimulation do you need for an erection?
5. How long can you maintain an erection?

My answers:
1. I desire sex w/wife a few times a week.
2. 2 or 3 times a month (90% of the time results in mutual orgasm)
3. Trimix injection takes 5 minutes to get adequate erection
4. None needed, but I tend to manipulate it cuz it feels so good.
5. Erection lasts for hours, and is totally "dependable" regardless of how long we choose to continure intercourse.

I am 73, wife is 70. I am generally healthy and exercise regularly (but not strenuously). She is diabetic.

I suggest you ask your urologist about Trimix Injections.

Bill

[dtwarren1942]

I am 69 and my wife is 66. I just started on Trimix injections so my new erection longevity is the same as ohohiakane, The following is my previous "normal"

1. 5 or 6 times a week (wife about 1 or 2) (Started T-gel last November)
2. About every 10 days for orgasm for me. (Wife enjoys OS and orgasms about once a week)
However, I enjoy penetration 3 or 4 days a week. Infrequent orgasm due primarily to loss of
sensitivity due to tight cock rings) Trimix should change this
3 Take Viagra 30 minutes in advance, pump for 15 minutes, add cock ring and kegel for 5 minutes.
cock ring needs to be removed after 20 minutes and I can sometimes get an erection again after a 10
minute break (sometimes have to repump.
4 Same as 3 above
5 20 minutes. Sometimes 45 minutes if I can revive it after the break.