Before and after:
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:22 pm
Before and after stories of sex:
I was thinking about how long I can continue having sex, now that I can have erections that are reliable and long-lasting. I wondered about the experiences of other men, “How does the sex you (can) have now compare with the sex you had 1) Before E.D. and 2) before your E.D. was successfully treated.”
Tell me your story, please. If you are comfortable doing so, I hope your replies will include some focus on your relationship(s), both sexual and related spinoffs.
The simplest answer is, of course, just counting the minutes you could engage in actual penetrative sex. But feel free to elaborate in this thread or in PM if you like.
Here is my story:
Even before E.D., in order to keep an erection, I had to maintain intense and continuous stimulation. If I eased off on thrusting, I lost the erection to venous leakage. If I continued thrusting, I lost the erection to orgasm. Lose-lose; the "Catch-22" dilemma.
Therefore, the length of time occupied by actual thrusting, for me, often could be measured in seconds rather than minutes.
Most of my sexual encounters were "quickies", not by choice, but just how they came out. My partner rarely orgasmed from sex. When I learned how to do cunnilingus, I was at least able to give something back to my lovers, but it was still less than satisfactory for each of us. The "icing" on the cake was still absent. The closeness of prolonged coitus (PIV sex) was sorely missed by both of us regardless of whether she had orgasms by other means.
Now that I have erections that are predictable, reliable and long-lasting, love-making sessions are quite different (and continue to evolve with my lady). Right now, we usually have actual, active, PIV sex for 10 to 20 minutes. This DOES NOT include foreplay, afterplay, oral sex, massage, masturbating each other etc, but is only actual, active, penis-in-vagina penetrative sex, most of which is fairly vigorous in-and-out thrusting. (Aside: During coitus, she generally has several orgasms, which seems miraculous to me after decades of their absence with most of my partners.) It does not hurt that, after implant, I take longer to orasm/ejaculate than ever before (at least since the age of 20 or so).
Our love-making is a mix of those 10 to 20 minutes of PIV and those other (varying amounts of time) of peripheral activities, so usually occupy 45 minutes to a couple of hours, depending on how you want to count the cooling-down "afterglow" period.
Many of our sessions end with us lying (in the afterglow) in a position that allows each of us to be completely relaxed with my penis still inside her vagina and neither of us moving much - just enjoying that connection. We can even fall asleep joined in that manner.
Sometimes I avoid sex because I know we don't have time to devote the 30 to 120 minutes that a "proper" sex session deserves. "Quickies" are not part of our repertoire now. (I am not sure how she feels about that omission. I have a lifetime of experiences telling me that leaving my lover wet with cum, none of which is her own, is just impolite, sexually speaking.) Kind of like revving up a 500 horsepower drag racing engine, dumping the clutch and finding the drive shaft was snapped. Anti-climax to the max. I will be talking to her about whether to add “quickies” to our palette of activities in the near future. But I tend to be a perfectionist, so do not miss them - I LIKE to hear her cum, long, loud and wet.
So, we have less sex than she would want, but better than either of us has ever had. No quickies, (the denigratable "Wham-bam, thank you, ma'am.") and fewer deep sessions than we would like.
Tell me your stories, please.
P.S. That post-coital relaxed position I mentioned above can be described as: I am on my side, roughly perpendicular to the bed centerline. She is on her back. parallel with the bed centerline, with one leg draped over my waist, putting our genitals close together. With me on my side, my up-side leg goes up between her legs, my thigh and knee resting on her belly. Her other leg draped over my down-side leg. She may or may not have a wedge under her hips, which improves the angle of penetration.
I was thinking about how long I can continue having sex, now that I can have erections that are reliable and long-lasting. I wondered about the experiences of other men, “How does the sex you (can) have now compare with the sex you had 1) Before E.D. and 2) before your E.D. was successfully treated.”
Tell me your story, please. If you are comfortable doing so, I hope your replies will include some focus on your relationship(s), both sexual and related spinoffs.
The simplest answer is, of course, just counting the minutes you could engage in actual penetrative sex. But feel free to elaborate in this thread or in PM if you like.
Here is my story:
Even before E.D., in order to keep an erection, I had to maintain intense and continuous stimulation. If I eased off on thrusting, I lost the erection to venous leakage. If I continued thrusting, I lost the erection to orgasm. Lose-lose; the "Catch-22" dilemma.
Therefore, the length of time occupied by actual thrusting, for me, often could be measured in seconds rather than minutes.
Most of my sexual encounters were "quickies", not by choice, but just how they came out. My partner rarely orgasmed from sex. When I learned how to do cunnilingus, I was at least able to give something back to my lovers, but it was still less than satisfactory for each of us. The "icing" on the cake was still absent. The closeness of prolonged coitus (PIV sex) was sorely missed by both of us regardless of whether she had orgasms by other means.
Now that I have erections that are predictable, reliable and long-lasting, love-making sessions are quite different (and continue to evolve with my lady). Right now, we usually have actual, active, PIV sex for 10 to 20 minutes. This DOES NOT include foreplay, afterplay, oral sex, massage, masturbating each other etc, but is only actual, active, penis-in-vagina penetrative sex, most of which is fairly vigorous in-and-out thrusting. (Aside: During coitus, she generally has several orgasms, which seems miraculous to me after decades of their absence with most of my partners.) It does not hurt that, after implant, I take longer to orasm/ejaculate than ever before (at least since the age of 20 or so).
Our love-making is a mix of those 10 to 20 minutes of PIV and those other (varying amounts of time) of peripheral activities, so usually occupy 45 minutes to a couple of hours, depending on how you want to count the cooling-down "afterglow" period.
Many of our sessions end with us lying (in the afterglow) in a position that allows each of us to be completely relaxed with my penis still inside her vagina and neither of us moving much - just enjoying that connection. We can even fall asleep joined in that manner.
Sometimes I avoid sex because I know we don't have time to devote the 30 to 120 minutes that a "proper" sex session deserves. "Quickies" are not part of our repertoire now. (I am not sure how she feels about that omission. I have a lifetime of experiences telling me that leaving my lover wet with cum, none of which is her own, is just impolite, sexually speaking.) Kind of like revving up a 500 horsepower drag racing engine, dumping the clutch and finding the drive shaft was snapped. Anti-climax to the max. I will be talking to her about whether to add “quickies” to our palette of activities in the near future. But I tend to be a perfectionist, so do not miss them - I LIKE to hear her cum, long, loud and wet.
So, we have less sex than she would want, but better than either of us has ever had. No quickies, (the denigratable "Wham-bam, thank you, ma'am.") and fewer deep sessions than we would like.
Tell me your stories, please.
P.S. That post-coital relaxed position I mentioned above can be described as: I am on my side, roughly perpendicular to the bed centerline. She is on her back. parallel with the bed centerline, with one leg draped over my waist, putting our genitals close together. With me on my side, my up-side leg goes up between her legs, my thigh and knee resting on her belly. Her other leg draped over my down-side leg. She may or may not have a wedge under her hips, which improves the angle of penetration.