I'm scared, really scared

[Ratt19]

I haven't dated in 20 years, I gave up on love, but that's another story.

I have decided at 47 to find someone. I noticed that my erections were soft. After a trip to the urologist and a failed trial with Viagra, he diagnosed me with
diabetic damage to my penis. We got the first testosterone results back and I scored a 241. He has yet to call me.

He has mentioned that more than likely I will be using injections to produce an erection, if they even work. I am devastated. So from what I gather I get
thirty minutes to an hour with an erection and then that is it for the night? What if I want to spend the night with someone I love? No more intercourse?

I know compared to some of you guys, that this is a blessing to have intercourse at all, but I feel like I have been handed a sentence not a solution. How
do you guys handle all this? How do you keep the intimacy and the warmth? What do I tell a woman that I may be falling in love with that I have to take
shots to have sex? What if she bails?

I have waited twenty years for the possibility that I may never love someone again. It leaves me scared out of my mind.

Thank you listening, and thank you for this board.

[bldoink]

I don't want to sound trite or insensitive because I feel for you. There is emotional stress whatever the casue of ED or your situation. However, the overused quip that comes to mind is "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." And so what if she bails on you. She then obviously wasn't worth your efforts so move on to the next one. There are plenty of lonely ladies in the world wishing some nice guy would pay them a little attention.

Don't pre judge your potential ED solutions before you've given them a chance.

[tomas1]

Good advice,
It may not be recommended, but more than 1 shot in a day won't kill you on occasion.
I also was able to get it up more than once some times when I injected.
Other times, it stayed up long enough for seconds.

[Leebert]

If she loves you back, she will understand and hopefully the both of you will work it out. If not, then probably not for you. Sry. I've been at this injection stuff for a month now and I haven't hit the rt dose, my wife of 44 yrs has been very understanding with it and is waiting patiently. There's a good woman! Keep going and keep moving forward, it will work out.

[Ratt19]

I appreciate the responses. I chose to get this checked out before I started dating. Being proactive was a smart choice. I am trying to understand if 241 is a low T score. Other than that, I am assuming it's injections for me. I have never have medical issues like this before, and I am trying not to overreact. Thank you again.

[Rawness1111]

Aye brother I'm 32 and thinking about getting the inplant. Life goes on. There are solutions out there for everything. That's what's most important. Imagine a world where implants weren't an option. Man I'm so happy for technology.

[improvement87]

I dont know where you got the idea that its only 30 minutes to an hour.. this is doctors standard language for "minimal recommended dose" .. an injection can keep you hard for 2-3 hours if you want.. it depends on the dose, if you take too much youll stay hard so long youll have to go to the emergency room. also you can blow a load and keep going if you want without stopping, far beyond the capacity of a normal man

I know you havent had a date in 20 years, but if youre hard that long and you actually use it you wont really "need" more after that same night..

Also you can always learn oral sex and other methods if she wants some extra pleasure later on in the same evening..

2-3 hours honestly is MORE than you need

As far as finding the right woman, yea you will need to find a "good woman".. probably if your goal is dating around nightclub party girls in their 20s you may have some problems... but even then ive read on this board if you search around like 50 year old guys banging young girls with trimix just hiding it.. but if you find a good wholesome woman its entirely possible. I know a guy with testosterone and ED issues who is just getting married and he was afraid he wouldnt be able to get it up on his wedding night, and has been having problems this whole time and he still has a woman who is marrying him and he is a young guy.

Also I can guarantee you you know what will scare women off more than your injections, is a lack of self confidence and extreme insecurity about the issue. after 40 more men have ED issues than you think.. its not extremely unusual.. Youre better off being confident in yourself and taking a "this is me, love me or leave me I dont care" attitude rather than shaking and being all insecure about it, work on improving everything else to add "points" to yourself as a man, go to the gym, clean yourself up, bring out your best foot forward.. have something to offer and take pride in, maybe while youre working on yourself or to start "date below your level" just to get some company and get comfortable till you can find the right one

Also good idea probably hide it and go to the bathroom first time you have sex, once youre "in" a woman will be much more likely to stick around than if you have to warn her on the first date, if she asks why you didnt tell her later just say "its my private business i didnt have to tell you anything, i didnt know you yet" or something like that. but tell her soon because otherwise things will get ackward and you will look weak if she finds out later which will possibly make her leave you

also injections have residual effects after they wear off for quite a while, you can always try a viagra afterward to see if you can make a comeback

[Flavio]

Levitra seems to be very popular among diabetics but I never tried it. I am currently taking Cialis + oral phentolamine mesylate as needed.

I wish you all the best, keep us posted on your progress.

[Ratt19]

Doctor called this morning and says the low for a testosterone is 300 and I am at 241. He wants a redraw to confirm the low T. If it stays low then it's testosterone therapy and another oral medication.

Thank you all for the advise. I will be sticking around here and contributing where I can. I am over the injection idea. Meaning, I will have to do what I have to do. As for now, I will take it day by day. Being intimate with someone again is all that I want right now. Not just sex, but a deeper connection. No matter what the future brings, I will pursue that.

Thanks again.

[bldoink]

....As for now, I will take it day by day. Being intimate with someone again is all that I want right now. Not just sex, but a deeper connection. No matter what the future brings, I will pursue that...

That attitude should work well for you as well as a potential partner.