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I give up
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 2:56 am
by Sadguy28
I am 23 years old. I do not get erections anymore. At all. I mean seriously. Even when I used to, they were weak erections.
I don't wake up with morning wood ever anymore. The only time I can get slightly hard is by stimulating my penis with my hand, and even then, it takes a while for it to get even a little bit firm. The second I let go, it is soft as can be. The last time I was sexually aroused with someone I could not get hard and the person said "Wow it must take a lot to get that thing hard" we joked and laughed together about it, but the truth is I was mentally aroused but I just feel like my penis is incapable of getting hard. If I still got morning wood or random erections throughout the day, I would say maybe it is psychological, but it is not. Something is wrong and I am so sure of it, I am tired of being told there isn't.
I am about to just give up on this. This is not normal and, to be honest, it is so fucking embarrassing. Oh, did I mention I am 23 YEARS OLD!? That's it. I am sick of this problem being overlooked. I quit.
Re: I give up
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 3:59 am
by Hunchback
Hey there,
I know how you feel, guess we all here do more or less... i've had ED all my life, literally. Going through teen and early adulthood years with ED can be scary and extremely depressing. Even now, at 35, being very happily married with an extremely supportive wife and having a very active sex life, i STILL feel like shit often, because of ED problems...
Still, i don't know what you mean by "give up" but know that there ARE solutions, as you can see on this forum. Neither is ideal, but most work relatively well.
I guess that's an obvious question but - Have you consulted a doctor? ED can be caused by probably dozens of reasons, if you haven't already you should get yourself examined and start the path of fighting ED.
Re: I give up
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 9:56 am
by Greg1956
I feel your pain. I am 63 but my ED began when I was 30. Have you gone to a doctor yet? I know it can be embarrassing but they have seen and heard everything so it really is OK to take that step. There are different causes for ED. Mine was a Venous Leak which means blood was not able to stay trapped in my penis to maintain an erection. After trying all the pills, injections, etc., I finally got a penile implant 2 years ago and now I am as happy as can be.
You are by no means the youngest guy with ED. There are others who are still in there teens who have come to FrankTalk seeking help. A 19 Year here just recently had an implant installed. I hope you will go ahead and schedule an appointment and begin the process to find a solution. Depending on your insurance, you may need to go to your Primary Care Physician, but it is helpful if you can go to a Urologist specializing in men’s sexual dysfunction. Again, don’t be embarrassed. It is not something you did to yourself. It happened to you just like other issues you go to a doctor to get help with. If you have any questions, let me know.
Re: I give up
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 10:56 am
by Txagq8
Dear Sadguy
I think you've watched a movie about my life. You've described my exact story perfectly. Oh, throw in delayed puberty and you have it 100%.
But before you give up let me tell you how the story plays itself out. It's does have a happy ending and they all do live happily ever after.
Late puberty had me thinking I was woefully underendowed and no female would ever want to have sex with me. At 19 I discovered I was wrong. Yeah, I had very short lived erections. I didn't realize there was anything wrong. Fortunately when you blow your load in 3 minutes a short lived erection isn't an obstacle.
Somewhere in there I found out I had a big, albeit not huge, member. One that was popular with the ladies anyhow. I was a wild man for a while.
At 29 I met my wife and we are still married after 34 years of normal human being trials and tribulations......to include premature babies, multiple moves, three combat deployments, a couple of cancer scares, and the loss of a post-Army job.
A year into the marriage we figured out something was wrong with the plumbing so we paid out of pocket (back then the Army wouldn't pay for the kind of testing I needed) and voila, congenital venous leakage.
So I went on shots and sex was good, life was good, I viewed having to inject my dick about like having diabetes or allergies. Just one of those things.
When the pills came out in the late 90s, I tried them, they helped, but shots still worked better.
Now, at 63, the shots still help but not as much as I'd like. You'd think an old dude would have had enough sex for one lifetime but trust me, the itch never goes away. So I'm in the process to get an implant. Buy stock in a company that makes and sells lube. My wife is post menopausal and will be buying plenty.
The bottom line is life goes on, doctors can generally fix or minimize ED. So you're only 23. I remember having to hold my left hand at the base of my dick to masturbate at 16, otherwise it wouldn't stay hard. I had no idea that was abnormal.
You know how some clowns think that having a big one somehow means they are more manly? It doesn't. And ED is the same thing. It's a conquerable medical condition. Not a character flaw. Plumbing issues don't de masculinize anyone.
Find a good urologist. Tell him or her everything. Take their competent medical advice. If something sounds flaky get a second opinion.
If you never try you are destined to fail. And having had people try to shoot me and/or blow me up I will tell you that life is far too short and uncertain to give up and not derive the maximum pleasure and enjoyment from it (life) that you can.
Yeah, I've been EXACTLY where you are. I guess I was too hard headed or stubborn to give in. I recommend you approach this with a "screw ED" attitude. In the big scheme of things you are tougher than the ailment.
Re: I give up
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2019 10:57 pm
by SteveSW
Sadguy,
Doctors are pre-disposed to believe that any 23 year old male will naturally have a hard dick on demand. They are trained to see ED as an old man's disease. They are wrong. Keep pushing back and working until you find a Uro that focuses or specializes on ED. Any man, any age, for a wide variety of reasons, can suffer from ED. Good luck, and don't give up. Be your own advocate.
Re: I give up
Posted: Thu Oct 17, 2019 12:40 pm
by Flavio
I barely had any sex in my 20s. I could hardly get an erection and didn't even see it as medical problem, I simply thought I wasn't good enough in bed and there was nothing I could do about it. WRONG!
I started doing some research on the subject, learned a couple of tricks and my sex life went through the roof. Today I'm 40 and sex is no longer an issue. And if I could do it, so can you.
The first step is seeing a doctor, ED is a multifactorial condition and only a urologist can determine the exact cause of your problem and prescribe an adequate treatment.
Research is step #2: knowledge is power. The more you know about sexual dysfunction, the less stressful it will be. I recommend anything written by Tom F. Lue, a brilliant urologist from the United States.
Check out my threads on oral phentolamine mesylate (brand names Vasomax, Vigamed). It is an excellent ED treatment, especially in cases of sexual performance anxiety and there's a good chance your case is psychogenic.
Good luck!
Re: I give up
Posted: Thu Oct 17, 2019 1:29 pm
by DaveKell
Giving up is not a solution. Don't accept that. As others have pointed out, younger guys than you have successfully overcome the same issues. Instill in your thinking a resolve to exert mental toughness to face your circumstances. There are bonafide treatments available that can give you a rewarding sex life. Just refuse to accept a doctor telling you anything other than it can be fixed with a solution that has a whopping 98% satisfaction rate. Set your sights on something better for yourself and refuse to accept even a modicum of defeat.