FrankTalk.org

60 years old, had prostate taken out a year ago, saved nerves. Can't get erections any more, since then.
Tried the injections, bi and tri mix----too painful ( not the injections but that side effects with Tri mix. BI Mix--did not work).
My insurance won't cover an implant...
I am single/widowed also.
Feeling F...CK'D big time. Feeling like no women would want to be with me, given the above information.
( I am however adventurous in the sack, open to other ways to please her, not shy about such things).

Anyone in the same boat? How are you dealing with this?

Welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry you're having troubles. We all have issues to overcome.

First off I'm going to strongly suggest you immediately get a VED (Vacuum Erection Device) AKA penis pump and start using it for therapy to hold off any further damage or atrophy. If you get a medical grade device you can also try using it, along with constriction rings, for sexual activity. Using a VED is important for therapy and may hold you over until you qualify for Medicare and a possible implant if that is your desire. My regular Blue Cross won't cover an implant either, or injections.

If you want you can provide more information on your injection history to see if anyone has any suggestions on how you might make that work.

Good luck and don't lose hope.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your wife.

Welcome to the forum. My sympathies on the loss of your wife. How long were you married?

I found that women are still interested in men, even without sex, or with sex by alternative means.

Remember that women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected, desired and safe.

Life is too short to miss the joys of sex and too long to endure its absence.

With those in mind, here is my experience:

3 decades of (unrecognized) declining sexual ability finally ending in virtual impotence. I learned in the final years to please women by toys, hands and tongue.

When I finally faced the problem and began seeking treatment, I advertised on a dating site for a "lab partner" to accompany me on the journey to an implant. I got several offers and the vast majority of replies (even those not offering to participate in the "lab work" before and after my implant) mentioned admiration for my candor. Apparently, women DO like a man who admits to shortcomings if he is ready to address them proactively. (I am reminded of the joke about how difficult it is for a man, clearly lost, to stop and ask for directions.)

Go ahead and ask women on dates. If the subject of sex comes up, just tell them you can't get it up after prostate surgery. If you are willing to please the woman in other ways, do so.

See if your insurance company will provide additional coverage for post-prostatectomy reconstruction. A lot of insurance companies will not pay for an implant for fertility purposes, but will if it is to restore a lost function. Talk to the office manager of a surgical urologist who does implants bout the "codes" in the medical procedures handbook. Using the right code is key to getting insurance company approval. Talk to your insurance company's patient advocate. Talk to the implant manufacturers' Patient Liaison about getting approval (they have a lot of experience cutting through the red tape and denials and appeals with insurance companies).

There is nothing quite as liberating and uplifting as taking the bull by the horns proactively and fighting for yourself. Besides, women love a man willing to take charge and fix a problem.


Edited to add: I second bldoink's advice about a vacuum erection device (VED). Maintaining elasticity of the penile tissues is important to retaining size and the vacuum action flushes blood through the tissues which is important to maintain tissue health as well.

(Also remember as you reenter the dating scene that sometimes a woman does NOT want you to fix a problem SHE has, but merely to give a sympathetic ear. But that is a completely different subject.)

There are several threads in General Discussion and Implants forums discussing men's dealings with insurance companies. Go find them. The search function is your friend.

The ache from TriMix is usually caused by the prostaglandins. No see if your urologist will write a script for a Trimix that keeps the prostaglandins as low as possible while cranking up the other components. Perhaps even adding atropine (which would be added to make Trimix, quadmix).

That might work for you.

Nash, I feel your pain. I had PCa surgery lost my Dick. Tried all the tricks. Shots worked for a while. I tried to get implant early on. My insurance said no go! I should have caught them. Waited 10 years for Medicare. Got mine done last Jan. If I had known what I know now I would have had it done by one of the Dr that gives cash discount.

Life is good again.

bldoink wrote:Welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry you're having troubles. We all have issues to overcome.

First off I'm going to strongly suggest you immediately get a VED (Vacuum Erection Device) AKA penis pump and start using it for therapy to hold off any further damage or atrophy. If you get a medical grade device you can also try using it, along with constriction rings, for sexual activity. Using a VED is important for therapy and may hold you over until you qualify for Medicare and a possible implant if that is your desire. My regular Blue Cross won't cover an implant either, or injections.

If you want you can provide more information on your injection history to see if anyone has any suggestions on how you might make that work.

Good luck and don't lose hope.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your wife.

Thanks for your comments, yea this is a road would rather not travel down, but it is, what it is.
Any particular name of Vacuum pump ?

Thanks

Cajun Jeff wrote:Nash, I feel your pain. I had PCa surgery lost my Dick. Tried all the tricks. Shots worked for a while. I tried to get implant early on. My insurance said no go! I should have caught them. Waited 10 years for Medicare. Got mine done last Jan. If I had known what I know now I would have had it done by one of the Dr that gives cash discount.

Life is good again.

Thanks dude.

Lost Sheep wrote:Welcome to the forum. My sympathies on the loss of your wife. How long were you married?

I found that women are still interested in men, even without sex, or with sex by alternative means.

Remember that women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected, desired and safe.

Life is too short to miss the joys of sex and too long to endure its absence.

With those in mind, here is my experience:

3 decades of (unrecognized) declining sexual ability finally ending in virtual impotence. I learned in the final years to please women by toys, hands and tongue.

When I finally faced the problem and began seeking treatment, I advertised on a dating site for a "lab partner" to accompany me on the journey to an implant. I got several offers and the vast majority of replies (even those not offering to participate in the "lab work" before and after my implant) mentioned admiration for my candor. Apparently, women DO like a man who admits to shortcomings if he is ready to address them proactively. (I am reminded of the joke about how difficult it is for a man, clearly lost, to stop and ask for directions.)

Go ahead and ask women on dates. If the subject of sex comes up, just tell them you can't get it up after prostate surgery. If you are willing to please the woman in other ways, do so.

See if your insurance company will provide additional coverage for post-prostatectomy reconstruction. A lot of insurance companies will not pay for an implant for fertility purposes, but will if it is to restore a lost function. Talk to the office manager of a surgical urologist who does implants bout the "codes" in the medical procedures handbook. Using the right code is key to getting insurance company approval. Talk to your insurance company's patient advocate. Talk to the implant manufacturers' Patient Liaison about getting approval (they have a lot of experience cutting through the red tape and denials and appeals with insurance companies).

There is nothing quite as liberating and uplifting as taking the bull by the horns proactively and fighting for yourself. Besides, women love a man willing to take charge and fix a problem.


Edited to add: I second bldoink's advice about a vacuum erection device (VED). Maintaining elasticity of the penile tissues is important to retaining size and the vacuum action flushes blood through the tissues which is important to maintain tissue health as well.

(Also remember as you reenter the dating scene that sometimes a woman does NOT want you to fix a problem SHE has, but merely to give a sympathetic ear. But that is a completely different subject.)

There are several threads in General Discussion and Implants forums discussing men's dealings with insurance companies. Go find them. The search function is your friend.

Thanks for your input dude, appreciate it. Any pump in particular?

[quote="Nash3222"
Thanks for your input dude, appreciate it. Any pump in particular?[/quote]
You are most welcome.

Any pump will do. One with a vacuum gauge is nice so you don't overdo. Medical grade pumps are expensive, but novelty shops work well also if you can get a good comfortable airtight seal. After all, a vacuum is a vacuum. How you achieve it is irrelevant to your penis.

I would cite some of the threads discussing VEDs, but am preparing for a medical procedure tomorrow and cannot stay on the computer long.

Later, dude.

Hang in there. The average time till erection return is 24 months with nerve sparing RP. Yes use a VED to keep your blood flowing. CalXotics has a good silicon ring that works with most VEDs and makes a good seal. Erections may come back soon.