Markc2008 wrote:Hey guys, so I am 37 years old— on the brink of 38. Up until a year and a half ago I had never had any sexual problems other than some slight PE from time to time. I had been on an antidepressant for probably five years with no issues. About a year and a half ago I decided I didn’t need the antidepressant anymore and didn’t refill the prescription and just stopped. My dr had never warned me about tapering off and I had no idea it was a big deal. About two weeks after just stopping the medication it was like a switch flipped. I lost all libido, desire and arousal, I started having shrinkage when flaccid almost like when your in cold weather, lost all spontaneous erections and now I have PE, which is odd that I would lose lust and desire but get PE. I lost pleasurable sensation in my genitals, although I can still feel touch. With all of that I ofcourse have ED. This happened in July of 2019 so I’m creeping up on a Year and a half like this. I tried giving it time to get better off everything, I’ve tried antidotes like wellebutrin and buspirone, I’ve tried several drs. I’m still in the same boat without much change. I’ve had some tell me this is probably permanent and to cope best I can and I have had others tell me it could be permanent but also with time— sometimes years, it could improve. My question to you guys is at what point would you consider an implant with my situation and age in mind? I mean I know a year and a half is not a life time but I am married and our sex life has been a struggle with me having to constantly take viagra or cialis to get enough of an erection and try to keep blood flow there, and the pills do not help with the pretty severe PE I get now which means I only last 5-10 mins at best. We have always had great sex so with that being said even if this was going to get better with more time how long do I put our relationship at risk and wait? I know an implant is permanent but this condition COULD be as well and it’s the only thing I can think of that would be a work around for all my problems. In my mind it would help with flaccid shrinkage because the implant would be there, I could get an erection again, and obviously could go as long as I want. Could some implant guys shed some light on my thinking and your opinion? Also any advice would be appreciated. It’s just something that not too many people have ever thought about so hard to get advice.
In contrast to you I slowly lost erectile ability (not through medications, just VL (venous leakage most probably)). Otherwise, my situation is similar enough that I can relate to your experience.
Do everything you can to find out if treatments less invasive (and destructive and irreversible) than an implant is possible.
In the meantime:
I recommend VED (Vacuum Erection Device) usage. Not for sex (We found that to be disappointing). VED for therapy. Intermittent erections induced by vacuum (pressure differential between what is applied outside your penis and applied from within your body will draw blood into your penile tissues) applied repeatedly for 30 minutes twice a day. This will stretch tissues so you don't get permanent size loss and also flush blood through those tissues. This emulates (to a degree) the regular nocturnal erections most men get throughout their lives. Those regular erections are important for penile health and erectile ability.
I recommend you two keep your sex life alive and vital by whatever means necessary. Cunnilingus (and fellatio) can keep a couple engaged in a healthy sexual relationship (which keeps those endorphins humming). I found, after years of eschewing oral sex that the skills one cultivates pay dividends even after restoration of erections. Keeping your wife satisfied and habituated to you by fingers, tongue or toys is important for a multitude of reasons. And don't overlook the other expressions of your physical attraction to her - back rubs, foot rubs, hugging her while she is cooking or doing the dishes - or doing the dishes FOR her while she relaxes after dinner (and before sex).
I opine that one's sex life should not be a struggle. It should be playful. I know this is COMPLETELY opposite of what a man with ED feels (It was so for me for several decades - and it is taking time for me to loosen up to the playful stage again), but if you can keep that playful mindset (as I said, by whatever means necessary) you will be miles ahead when you do get your erections sorted out.
Getting your erections restored is another story. Drugs can mess up that delicate system of interactions, sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently. Sometimes more drugs can fix what was broken. Sometimes it will take surgery. Sometimes a couple finds erections are not actually necessary for a very satisfying sex life. You two will get that sorted out. Any advice members of FrankTalk (including myself) is freely given in optimisticy (most of the time). They are mostly lay opinions liberally laced with facts from personal experience and legitimate medical journals.