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What’s up to everyone who reads. I have an Anxiety I have been dealing with since I was a teen. I will not get erect when it comes down to having sex with a new woman. I have no problem getting erect when I’m with my long time girlfriend or other girls I’ve actually had sex with before. However, this situation is horrible for my mental state. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I’m scared to date new women because of it. I can be around a female I really like, but when it comes time to have sex. It’s always this thought of “what if I don’t get hard?” An it fucks with me to the point I’m not able to get hard. I know for sure its mental thing, because I’ve had two situations. Where I couldn’t get up and the females I was with stayed around. Later after I’m comfortable and not thinking about it. I was able to get an erection and have sex with them. As you all know though, most women are not that patient and become enraged when you can’t get erect. This has ruined many relationships for me. Someone if anyone, please help me with this if you can. Especially, if you have similar experiences. It feels like I’m the only one with this problem but I know I can’t be the only one. Thanks for help!!!

Keep some Viagra or cialis on hand for when you think you might have this problem.

Viagra etc aren’t a long term fix right??? You have to do them every time you have sex??? Will that still might work in my case. I just need to get over the fear in the beginning, thanks!!! How do I get viagra???

I agree. Cialis or Viagra are the way to go for you. Just go to your doctor and tell them you have ED and they'll prescribe it for you. You could even try something like Romans or Hims: https://www.forhims.com/erectile-dysfunction/tadalafil

Best.

Have you been to a doctor and let him examine you? If not I would highly recommend you let a doctor examine you and rule out everything else. You are probably correct In your thinking. Most guys know their bodies. You need to become confident in your love making abilities. I went through this type thing some time ago. I made myself work on becoming confident when I made love to a woman. I finally started seeing how long I could fuck her. This helped my confidence tremendously! When I became confident in my abilities everything else worked out just fine. Work on this and I think you will see a change for the better. Best of luck to you!

Kingpolo05 wrote:What’s up to everyone who reads. I have an Anxiety I have been dealing with since I was a teen. I will not get erect when it comes down to having sex with a new woman. I have no problem getting erect when I’m with my long time girlfriend or other girls I’ve actually had sex with before. However, this situation is horrible for my mental state. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I’m scared to date new women because of it. I can be around a female I really like, but when it comes time to have sex. It’s always this thought of “what if I don’t get hard?” An it fucks with me to the point I’m not able to get hard. I know for sure its mental thing, because I’ve had two situations. Where I couldn’t get up and the females I was with stayed around. Later after I’m comfortable and not thinking about it. I was able to get an erection and have sex with them. As you all know though, most women are not that patient and become enraged when you can’t get erect. This has ruined many relationships for me. Someone if anyone, please help me with this if you can. Especially, if you have similar experiences. It feels like I’m the only one with this problem but I know I can’t be the only one. Thanks for help!!!

I believe your self-diagnosis is correct. Performance Anxiety. The "true" cure for that is confidence, not chemicals. Chemicals (oral medications like Viagra, etc) tend to lose effectiveness after a time. Then, if you actually develop (as happens often with age) organic E.D., they will not be as effective as they might have been.

Relaxation techniques, self-hypnosis or even therapeutic hypnosis would (in my opinion) definitely help. Also, just finding a gal who is more interested in having a relaxing fun time with YOU rather than with your penis is likely to yield relationship benefits in addition to sexual benefits.

Rushing into sex before you are really ready in your own mind is not a recipe for happiness. It is simply masturbation with another person involved. But that is my own judgement call.

Kingpolo05 wrote: [...] It feels like I’m the only one with this problem but I know I can’t be the only one. Thanks for help!!!

Believe me, you're not the only one.

Sexual performance anxiety is extremely common, esp. among young men. The good news: it is easily treatable. I battled this condition (coital anxiety) for many years and if I could overcome this, so can you.

The best possible advice I can give you is this: do A LOT of research on this subject. Talk to doctors, read books, visit good websites. The more you know about sex, the less stressful it will be.

I agree with Lost sheep. Feel confident in the fact that there is nothing wrong with your penis. Some men and there are many of us, are just more sensitive to this than others. Once you learn how to relax as you have discovered the problem goes away.
Seeing a sex therapist may help as they will teach you ways in which to overcome the negative thoughts that are too powerful in certain situations.

I think it also helps to understand that the right partner for you will be understanding and help you through this issue. They will not make a big deal of the problem when it happens and encourage the relaxation process with you. Someone who is impatient and does not want to understand your problem is not worth your time.

Women can actually be very understanding as they often have all sorts of issues with their reproductive parts. The more mature experienced ones also realise men have their issues too.

You can use Viagra every time for years or decades, it is a long-term fix, but get a sildenafil (generic Viagra) prescription because it's much cheaper. I pay $1 for 20mg. Doctors see this anxiety all the time; you needn't be embarrassed; just say that you're nervous about girls. Start with the maximum dose, 100mg; go down to save a few bucks the next time when you see how well it works. It's impossible to overdose but beyond 100mg, more has no more effect. Sildenafil doesn't lose its power until you get to be 65 or 70. Take it an hour before undressing your girl and have some alcohol a half-hour before, and you'll be fine. Success will build on success.

Martin6469 wrote:You can use Viagra every time for years or decades, it is a long-term fix,

I am compelled to note that for many men, Viagra (generic name, Sildenafil) loses effectiveness over time. This may not be true for all men, but is true for many. Look up the literature on it for yourself to develop your own opinion of the facts. Whether this is chemical tolerance or a sign of the advancement of whatever E.D. process is at work is unknowable at this point.

I note the advice: "Fixing a symptom is seldom a good long-term strategy where the underlying cause is not addressed."

Martin6469 wrote:Success will build on success.

True. Very true.