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Since my prostatectomy, at times I can only orgasm looking at porn. My wife is very understanding but I know it probably concerns her I can only achieve orgasm this way. We still have a good sex relationship and I can have orgasms with her but only doggystyle after using using the VED. My sex drive is still very high at 69 YOA. Is looking at porn that bad and what are some sites that are maybe mild. Thanks

I have no useful answers for you. I can only commiserate with you, having also developed greatly reduced sensitivity from nerve damage as a result of a supposedly nerve sparing robotic radical prostatectomy, with cancer in the margins. I suspect it was the cancer in the margins that required procedures causing more than the anticipated (and advertised) nerve damage. Either that or just bad luck. But yeah PIV orgasm is a very elusive goal for me also. I can be fully penetrating but not feel like I am. Be thankful your wife is understanding and show your appreciation to her. Please let her know that your situation is not unique and is no reflection on her. Let her read my post if you think it will help.

I'm sorry I have no magic solution for you.

I have that problem at times, Porn really does the trick for me but the wife does not like me to watch it. Prostate surgery ruined my arousal and pill, shots and ved did not work so I went with an implant. Piv works most of the time but takes about 30 minutes to get to the end.

The VED is very restrictive. Have you tried sex with trimix injections? Maybe try something erotic while doggie like a wet thumb up her ass if she will allow it.

I used to feel shameful looking at porn prior to having sex
with my spouse. Watching porn helped me regain confidence
in getting an erection, along with using my cock ring.

Porn is a legitimate useful tool in penile rehab.

Don't tell my wife, but lately I can only cross the finish line by visualizing premarital sexploits with hot girlfriends of decades ago. (I guess those gals, now in their seventies, would be surprised at how they're helping my marriage now!)

In addition to what we pick up in our younger sex lives, in our conscious minds, if you go through the thousands of past comments in FT, you'll find that we guys have all kinds of hidden stuff in our subconsciousness. Seems to be hard-wired for life, like instincts in the animal world. There's a fun book "A Billion Wicked Thoughts," in which the authors analyze a billion Internet searches to discover what arouses guys (and women).

(For an exclusive peek into the sexual subconsciousness of women, there are Nancy Friday's books "My Secret Garden" and "Forbidden Flowers.")

We have "crazy" stuff, hidden and unhidden, in our minds, which might cause us to think/say/do "crazy" things when having sex, and it's normal!

So why don't I confess my nifty fantasies to my wife? We're very open about sex usually. Because she's insecure after being cheated on by her ex, and she knows I have wandering eyes!