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Have just read the post about this subject. I'm surprised that no mention was made of pelvic floor exercises. I was leaking badly into my wife when we started making love again. I told her what was happening, and she was very understanding.
My urologist told me how important it was to do the pelvic floor exercises for about 10 minutes each day. Well I don't give it that much time. But at least two times each day I do 25 contractions. I sit on the arm of a chair so that when I tighten the pelvic floor muscle I can feel it "grip" the arm of the chair. I take a deep breath, pull the muscle in, and breathe out slowly to the count of whatever I feel I can manage on the day. My objective is to keep it contracted for 10 seconds each time. But like all exercises, you have to build up to it. In the first months after surgery I could manage just 1 second. Now I can easily manage 7 seconds.
Although I still leak urine during intercourse, it isn't as much as two months ago. And as one post suggested, just urinating before sex will minimize the problem even more.
Alcohol and caffeine also weaken the bladder.

Hey Jim,

Sent you an email reply. Seems it didn't work. Let me know...no record in my outbox/sent box.

BA

It seems this topic comes up from time to time so I will try add to the discussion.

Kegels are something I still do daily. My goal is 100 a day. For many years I was a carpenter so standing and walking all day was normal. Then cancer and a radical then kegels to retrain my muscles.

Now after more then 5 years I do kegels for sex. My Dr. stated if I worked my muscles regularly, basically 2 things would happen. Bowel control would return quicker, (it did) and sex would be better, (I think it is). In fact we both do kegels for sex still. We sometimes do them separate and sometimes together.

How can a couple do kegels together? She might get the pump and come to the door with a smile and ask if I would like a little exercise. I might take 1/2 a 20mg generic levitra and start rubbing her down with some nice oil or cream. Once my penis gets erect maybe I will just put the tip in her and continue to rub the front of her with my hands. Sometimes I will move my penis up and down with my hand. She can take over if she wishes and use me to please herself. I become her sex toy. She is so warm and then gets hot as things go along it hardly ever fails to please at least one of us and sometimes both.

I just went to Google and typed in "Kegel" and came up with all kinds of advice on how and why we should do them. I think kegels should be part of any couples life all the time. If you don't get enough exercise as you age those muscles get weak.

So here are a couple of links and you should go find more:

http://www.kegelexercisesformen.com/

http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_6 ... e_tip.html

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/kegel- ... es/WO00119

Feedback is welcome, Jim.

One of our members sent me a private reply on this subject and I appreciate his desire to be discrete. There are times I do the same and will continue to do that. I did not feel like it in this case because it is our sexuality that I wish to discuss.

Copy Follows: Hi, and thanks much for your comments on this subject. Gee - 100 per day! How many seconds between each contraction? I'll try out the idea of doing them together. Sounds good to me.

Answer: 10 at a time done anywhere and at any time. 5 seconds muscles tight 15 seconds relax. The muscles you want to flex or tighten are the same ones that you would squeeze to cut a turd in half or make your cock jump like in the old days.

One more thing I do is try to lift the plastic tube of my pump when it is on my penis ( once a week or so). I think of it as "weight training" but that is so much BS I can't stand to say it out loud. But I can say it here and that is OK. Sometimes she uses my cock as her "kegel" toy and she will bear down on me and smile. I might passively lay and count with her or join in the count and really work at it. I might replace my penis with my finger or my tongue. She is so warm and wet or lubed. She also tastes good.

A side effect of our play is the development of sexual tension. I don't know about you guys but I like tension. We might build up and then stop several times before we finish or try to finish. Finish meaning trying to climax.

None of this hurts us once the inner tissues are healed and bowel control and sex remain part of our daily lives as they should. We have a right to expect recovery in these areas but we must work at it a little harder after cancer comes into our lives.

Cancer changed both our lives and I am real glad she stood next to me as I went through my dance with this disease.

I hope all members remain in the "ZERO" club till they die of old age.

Jim