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Hi,
I’m just curious if anyone got married while having ED (so it started before that)? I’m trying to build the relationships right now (and I have mild VL). Right now not interested in implant, just take pills occasionally when I need them. Please share your stories if you can. Thank you!!

Not married, but I told my current girlfriend within the first few dates about my issues, she didn’t care. She said “sex is an emotional experience for women” (her opinion, at least). She says she would love me even if my dick stops working permanently. So that was really encouraging. The prospect of marrying is scary when you have ED (and resultant decreased sex drive), but at the end of the day, what do you have to lose? We don’t know how many days we have left, and I’ve already wasted a few years stuck in anxiety and depression over this. I think the key is to establish a relationship that isn’t predicated on sex. We have learned to be physically loving without intercourse, and to actually value our conversations and friendship. So if this does lead to marriage, I think we are on much more stable ground than maybe we would have been if I did not have this issue and was primarily focussed on sex.

Steamfitter, while my ED was a result of multiple backs surgeries and heart attacks my wife was so understanding. She was willing to deal with my half dick and satisfy me anyway possible. That being said my male ego and the desire to please her back was shattered and no woman can understand that. When my Dr. told me about the implant possibility, I jumped on it and I can say my “male ego” is healthy as heck and I feel like a total stud being able to please her every time we have sex. My partners satisfaction has always been a huge thing for me in the bedroom. I got the titan 8 months ago and I can tell you that I’m in a great place with it and my wife is 1000% satisfied with it as well. Sex is awesome, orgasms are better than before and size is off the charts better than before. Whatever you decide good luck with it and I hope that you and your girlfriend decide to go bionic, you’ll not regret it, I’m sure. Look at the comments on this site and I’ve rarely seen anyone who says my partner hates me being able to have sex whenever we want and for as long as we want. My wife thought I was crazy when I told her about the implant but she’s thrilled with her daily orgasms that she enjoys now. We are older, I’m 58 and she’s 62. We are having incredible sex. Just some food for thought during your journey.

Still 45 and not married, but I've had 4 women WANT to marry me, all of whom knew I struggled with ED. I had working solutions (pills during the first 2, then injections for the second 2) and that seemed to be good enough.

The lack of spontaneity with ED meds really sucks, since many women love having spontaneous sex, but the sex we did have was good enough to make them want to marry me so....

12 years ago I got married with mild ED.
I started taking Viagra soon after getting married and continued until several months ago when I stated Trimix.

Although I could have sex, and still can with Viagra. I was very limited sexually in what I could do. I could only do on position and I had to limit thrusting in order to maintain and keep my erection without coming to soon. My wife has found it boring and disappointing.

Over the past 10 years my wife has wanted sex less and less to the point of being in a sexless marriage for the past couple years. Last year I looked into using Trimix and have now started using it. During this time my wife told me the reason she did not want sex was because of my ED. She said that there were too many failures (erection problems) and she felt she could not do what she wanted in sex. I'm finding with Trimix, I am learning how to have sex with a penis that last far longer during sex than ever before.

I was married previously to another woman for 25 years that never wanted sex. We never talked about sex other than her telling me no sex for years. But I wonder now if at least part of the reason my ex did not want sex was my lack of sexual performance with regards to erections. I tried to make up for it with oral. But that can only go so far.

My suggestion is be perfectly honest. My ex wife was not honest with me sexually and it is a large reason we divorced.
And in my current relationship the lack of sex has been a huge stress for both my wife and I.

When I was young I could have picked almost any girl. I was tall and handsome, funny and intelligent. But I had ED, a bad venous leak, although at that time it was called impotence. I turned my back to dozens of girls pretending that I am not interested. I run away of them. I cried in the dark and was a lot alone. My friends fucked all over and were suspicious why I was not doing the same. Some of them think even today that I am a gay.

Finally after several decades I started to live with a woman. She does not care about sex. With ED you get what you deserve.

HappyAgain wrote:Steamfitter, while my ED was a result of multiple backs surgeries and heart attacks my wife was so understanding. She was willing to deal with my half dick and satisfy me anyway possible. That being said my male ego and the desire to please her back was shattered and no woman can understand that. When my Dr. told me about the implant possibility, I jumped on it and I can say my “male ego” is healthy as heck and I feel like a total stud being able to please her every time we have sex. My partners satisfaction has always been a huge thing for me in the bedroom. I got the titan 8 months ago and I can tell you that I’m in a great place with it and my wife is 1000% satisfied with it as well. Sex is awesome, orgasms are better than before and size is off the charts better than before. Whatever you decide good luck with it and I hope that you and your girlfriend decide to go bionic, you’ll not regret it, I’m sure. Look at the comments on this site and I’ve rarely seen anyone who says my partner hates me being able to have sex whenever we want and for as long as we want. My wife thought I was crazy when I told her about the implant but she’s thrilled with her daily orgasms that she enjoys now. We are older, I’m 58 and she’s 62. We are having incredible sex. Just some food for thought during your journey.

That’s encouraging, thank-you. I am 38, never married, and rely on the pills at this point. I am hoping to be where you are in life eventually so just reading posts like this lifts my spirits.

steamfitter wrote:

HappyAgain wrote:Steamfitter, while my ED was a result of multiple backs surgeries and heart attacks my wife was so understanding. She was willing to deal with my half dick and satisfy me anyway possible. That being said my male ego and the desire to please her back was shattered and no woman can understand that. When my Dr. told me about the implant possibility, I jumped on it and I can say my “male ego” is healthy as heck and I feel like a total stud being able to please her every time we have sex. My partners satisfaction has always been a huge thing for me in the bedroom. I got the titan 8 months ago and I can tell you that I’m in a great place with it and my wife is 1000% satisfied with it as well. Sex is awesome, orgasms are better than before and size is off the charts better than before. Whatever you decide good luck with it and I hope that you and your girlfriend decide to go bionic, you’ll not regret it, I’m sure. Look at the comments on this site and I’ve rarely seen anyone who says my partner hates me being able to have sex whenever we want and for as long as we want. My wife thought I was crazy when I told her about the implant but she’s thrilled with her daily orgasms that she enjoys now. We are older, I’m 58 and she’s 62. We are having incredible sex. Just some food for thought during your journey.

That’s encouraging, thank-you. I am 38, never married, and rely on the pills at this point. I am hoping to be where you are in life eventually so just reading posts like this lifts my spirits.

Keep the faith because believe it or not I wish I would’ve known about this implant way earlier in my life. I’d have gotten it in my 40’s.

Mazzio wrote:When I was young I could have picked almost any girl. I was tall and handsome, funny and intelligent. But I had ED, a bad venous leak, although at that time it was called impotence. I turned my back to dozens of girls pretending that I am not interested. I run away of them. I cried in the dark and was a lot alone. My friends fucked all over and were suspicious why I was not doing the same. Some of them think even today that I am a gay.

Finally after several decades I started to live with a woman. She does not care about sex. With ED you get what you deserve.

That sucks man. You never found a medical solution that worked? Did you stop looking? I've heard for bad venous leaks an implant is the only solution. But that it can totally fix the problem.

I wasn't tall, but I had many girls interested in me that I shied away from because I knew my dick wouldnt work and I couldnt stand the humiliation. I spent literal years alone in my house with very little social contact outside of work. But medications - first pills then injections - finally enabled me to date and have some good relationships and good sex.

ED is a life changing health condition. More than most would imagine. It totally changes a man's self confidence and the way he carries himself, which is so much of what makes a man.

steamfitter wrote:Not married, but I told my current girlfriend within the first few dates about my issues, she didn’t care. She said “sex is an emotional experience for women” (her opinion, at least). She says she would love me even if my dick stops working permanently. So that was really encouraging. The prospect of marrying is scary when you have ED (and resultant decreased sex drive), but at the end of the day, what do you have to lose? We don’t know how many days we have left, and I’ve already wasted a few years stuck in anxiety and depression over this. I think the key is to establish a relationship that isn’t predicated on sex. We have learned to be physically loving without intercourse, and to actually value our conversations and friendship. So if this does lead to marriage, I think we are on much more stable ground than maybe we would have been if I did not have this issue and was primarily focussed on sex.

That’s good, I 100% agree with what you said. Personally for me sex is important, but it’s not what makes a base for a good relationships (even when I didn’t have ED it was like that).

As for the sex without intercourse, I am also learning a lot about that (improving oral, fingering, learning a lot about sex toys - vibratos, vacuum stimulators, dildos etc) to make sure my woman is satisfied with me. Sometimes I take pills for having normal sex, but not too often as it puts pressure on me. Also I trying to find the girl who accepts me for who I am and will be able to adjust in terms of sexual life.

As for your situation, do you try intercourse and how often? How did you communicate about the issue with your girlfriend?