I need help. I don't know what I don't know.

[hotandnerdy]

*APOLOGIES*. So this is going to be graphic and detailed because, honestly, I don't know what to say or not say in order to get help.

The background:
I am 46. I've been married for almost 20 years and she has filed for divorce. As part of this marriage we haven't been intimate in the past 5 years (no physical touch at all actually). During this time I managed my own desires in order to stay faithful to the marriage. I did not cheat.

The current situation:
Having become sexually active again after 5 years (oral being 20 years because she never could/would do that for me) I am finding a lot of issues I didn't expect. This is where it gets graphic.
- I generate a LOT of "pre-cum" when aroused and when having sex.
- I can climax by myself. Seems I might have developed death grip. My primary sensation, if not all of my sensation, is only in the head (particularly the ridge of the glans). It is still a bit of a struggle to get there. Lube helps a lot.
- I cannot climax during any intercourse of any kind. However that is with a condom. I have not been able to try so without one.
- I cannot climax when receiving bare oral or hand stimulation
- I do not stay hard during intercourse (again this is with a condom)
- It seems i might be having micro orgasms where I don't even feel them but hardly any ejaculate, or none, comes out and then I go half soft.
- In general, alone or not, it's like i have close to no sensation along the shaft. Scrotum is very minor too.
- I am scared

What's next:
- I have a doctor appt with my PCP this Friday to discuss ED and STD/STI testing.

Questions:
- What should I do?
- Has anyone else experienced this?
- What might be the solution?
- What questions should I be asking.

Please feel free to ask questions

[Martin6469]

So you're having sex with someone, and that's the reason for the condoms?

Graphic is ok, we're all graphic here.