Post-Op Implant, a True Story
Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 8:14 am
It's one thing to anticipate the successful outcome of an implant "prior to" but let me tell my experience afterwards. I wasn't truly prepared for what happened afterwards. I followed the doctor's orders, no heavy physical activity to strain myself and no sex for 6 weeks. I followed the regiment exactly. What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that ED had cost me size which would become obvious after the surgery. I wasn't prepared for the disappointment by my partner in the size, post op. When we first tried it was not successful and her reaction impacted my confidence level in such a way that it took months before we tried again. I just want new patients to be aware that implants are a big decision, with many facets to relationships, not just the successful, "it works great" answer you often hear. I don't regret getting an implant, I just wish I'd known a little more about the possibility of losing size and how that might impact a partner. Don't get me wrong, I would do it all over again if given the chance, except I would have done it sooner.
Because of my fear of failing again I took every excuse to avoid "doing the deed", even though I wanted to and my wife, maybe more than I, wanted to. As a result we drifted apart as a couple. We lived and slept together but it wasn't like the old days. Finally one day she admitted that she was attracted to another guy and had strong feelings for him. There was no sex involved between them, I know for a fact due to circumstances I won't go into here, but it was devastating. She didn't even know "she was vulnerable", as she put it the day she told me and shattered my world. They had some things in common that we did not and one thing led to another and she was infatuated by this guy. We are still living together and trying to rebuild what we had. She asked me for time and patience because she still has "strong" feelings towards me but she needed to slowly let go on the other end. So I wait, patiently, with lonely days and much self doubt about who I am and how I messed up so badly. Since this all happened we both discovered that the implant does work and we want to build upon that. Before all of this we had a great loving relationship so it is sad to think about how it went away. I am committed to running the course, despite the bad days, the arguments, the urges to go find the guy, lashing out at others for no apparent reason...all of it.
I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that couples should be aware of things like I mentioned happening to them so they hopefully won't have the same experience. If you are prepared and understand the potential psychological impacts before hand, the better you can deal with them post-op. So you see ED and the solutions for it goes well beyond the immediate surgery, the patient or the solution. Be aware of that, don't be afraid to discuss or address your fears with your significant other.
Because of my fear of failing again I took every excuse to avoid "doing the deed", even though I wanted to and my wife, maybe more than I, wanted to. As a result we drifted apart as a couple. We lived and slept together but it wasn't like the old days. Finally one day she admitted that she was attracted to another guy and had strong feelings for him. There was no sex involved between them, I know for a fact due to circumstances I won't go into here, but it was devastating. She didn't even know "she was vulnerable", as she put it the day she told me and shattered my world. They had some things in common that we did not and one thing led to another and she was infatuated by this guy. We are still living together and trying to rebuild what we had. She asked me for time and patience because she still has "strong" feelings towards me but she needed to slowly let go on the other end. So I wait, patiently, with lonely days and much self doubt about who I am and how I messed up so badly. Since this all happened we both discovered that the implant does work and we want to build upon that. Before all of this we had a great loving relationship so it is sad to think about how it went away. I am committed to running the course, despite the bad days, the arguments, the urges to go find the guy, lashing out at others for no apparent reason...all of it.
I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that couples should be aware of things like I mentioned happening to them so they hopefully won't have the same experience. If you are prepared and understand the potential psychological impacts before hand, the better you can deal with them post-op. So you see ED and the solutions for it goes well beyond the immediate surgery, the patient or the solution. Be aware of that, don't be afraid to discuss or address your fears with your significant other.
