Need Some Encouragement

[defiant]

I'm sure most of the regulars here know my story so I'll skip it but long story short, I don't know whether my ED (venous leakage) is all in my head or whether it's real.

REGARDLESS! I have become dependent on Cialis.

20mg on demand works amazingly well. 5mg daily I haven't tested thoroughly but I have done so for about 4 days in a row and again, it works great.

97% of the time I have no problem.

But it has stolen the spontaneity out of sex. Lately, I have come to hate the idea of having to take pills for the rest of my life. What if I develop a condition whereby I'm not allowed to take PDEs? What if I become resistant, be it physically or mentally?

For the time being it works great and even masturbating works great if I'm horny enough. It's all about the tone and signal being sent from the brain.

I even remember the ultrasound test whereby I was told I had VL, afterward on my way home, I had erections that wouldn't go away. I realised, well if they'd been testing it then, it would have been a different result.

Again, REGARDLESS, mental or not, I have a dependence on pills and I try to tell myself a lot of people are worse off, that some people can't even walk and are so positive and compete in the olympics. But still.

Can anyone give me any words of wisdom? It's really really getting me down.

I am single at the moment and I fear getting with new partners and one day if my future partner will understand and stay with me. Luckily I'm a handsome chap so I don't have problems finding women, just the right women.

Thanks!

[tomas1]

I don't see oral meds making things very unspontaneous. Now, Injections might be a different story, but they can be lived with.

[graymare]

Life changes and I found the need to change with it. I didn't realize how much I identified my masculinity with the ability to have a good erection until I lost that ability. When I found methods (first cialas, now trimix) to regain those erections, I regained my self confidence. True, my wife and I now "plan" our lovemaking, but we actually like it. No more wondering what's on the other's mind. And knowing my erection will be there when I need it, frees me to be a better lover for her. You are single and that makes a big difference for sure. But women your age are likely as understanding as my wife. Perhaps when you find someone you'd like a relationship with, honesty and openness will lead to a positive conclusion for you both.

[David_R]

I sometimes explain things to women this way: Nobody makes jokes about women who cannot lubricate, but there are plenty of jokes about a guy who can't get it up. It says a lot that a common term for the penis is "manhood." I know men who don't have a sexual partner who have gotten an implant (for example) just so they know that they can have an erection; it makes them feel more like a "real man."

[defiant]

VL is such a messed up condition. Hard to diagnose accurately, no cure and as with any other form of ED, leading to often profound levels of anxiety and deeply affected perceptions of sex. So much so you lose track of what's real and what's in the mind. Sigh