Personality changes with sudden restoration of sexual ability?

[Lost Sheep]

How to handle sudden restoration of sexual ability?

When your E.D. was suddenly relieved, how did you handle the changes within yourselves? In your relationships?


My feelings about relationships and sex evolved alongside slowly increasing erectile dysfunction for decades. As such, my way of maintaining relationships matured over many years. I am now 68 years old.

I am getting an implant in 2-3 months and wonder if my attitude towards sex might change radically with the sudden restoration of erections. Just the anticipation of the implant has made some changes in me.

I want to know if any men on this site would share if, and how, their self-images changed when they got their dysfunctions "cured". Women are also especially welcome to render opinions and experiences; my partners' feelings are important to me and this is the main reason I make this post. I have two incipient relationships at present and am in a dilemma already (pre-implant)

Here is my situation: I have never married but have had a moderate number of monogamous relationships over time. Honesty, honor and not hurting my lover are very important to me. As my E.D. progressed (and as I became more experienced and mature myself) my partner's orgasms became more important to me than my own (this was not always the case-when I was younger I was a bit more self-absorbed than I am now-partially thanks to E.D.)

My first thought is that I might want (like having a new sports car) to take my new "vehicle" on as many different road races and test drives as I can find. I do not want to be a "player" and I NEVER want to hurt anyone with whom I might be intimate. That I COULD change in that direction is a bit scary for me. So, my question:

Did sudden restoration of sexual function prompt changes in your personality, attitudes, relationships and how did you handle them?

Thanks

Lost Sheep

[Nocturne]

I can tell you what a sudden LOSS of sexual ability did to me at the age of 41 -- shattered my mind, destroyed my self confidence, reduced me to a weeping wreck who was terrified almost every minute of the day and anxious at the best of times, and honestly made me want to die.

Then my body kindly obliged my wishes to not live another 40 years in such a state and I learned that I had aortic stenosis and coronary artery disease. Fun times.

I know that isn't what you were looking for, but in my view, sudden restoration of sexual ability cannot possibly be as bad as its opposite.

[jonbaldbg]

I feel sort of happy to be getting my erection and even sexual sensitivity back. My wife is not an assertive individual and rarely shows enthusiasm about anything and this has been the case with my implant. However, she did not oppose it and she's fine with me having it done. We haven't taken it for a drive yet because I just got activated and am a bit sore, but it won't be long.

Major changes in my emotions, self-esteem, etc? Not really.

[dg_moore]

LIkewise, Jon - my implant made no difference in my self-perception. ED never made me feel inferior, or ashamed, or anything negative other than frustrated. My self image was never linked to my erectile ability or lack thereof. I've never been one to obsess about my penis - I always remember the line in the movie "The Crying Game" - "it's just a piece of meat."

[jonbaldbg]

dg,

I am really sorry you never got to use your enhanced "piece of meat." You certainly had a fine surgeon. I've always felt I had a small wiener and I do, but it hasn't stopped me from using it or given me too much loss of self-esteem. I have wondered what it would be like to have a large trouser monkey, but evidently having a small member isn't uncommon at all. But, I certainly don't get my self-esteem from it.

[dg_moore]

jon, most of the research I've read says that the average penis size is in the 5 - 5.5" range. That's where I am, and I have never given a thought to it. It always brought me pleasure, and none of my partners was ever dissatisfied - what more could you ask (other than to be able to use it a bit longer, but that's not under our control).

[jonbaldbg]

dg,

I believe all the nerve endings in a woman's vagina are in the first three inches? I think I read that somewhere. Happy Thanksgiving.

[Donnie1954]

Boy. did my bionic dick change me,
Because I was no longer able to get or keep an erection suitable for intercourse (without help) I didn't feel complete as a man. I was very critical and not a pleasant person (around my family). I didn't want to be like that, but ability to 'perform' was, and still is, very important to me. Things got worse as nothing but a VED worked and I hated the VED (wife never liked the erection produced) but I would have tried and used anything to make love to my wife. This implant has been a God given gift! I am my old pre-ED self. Knowing I can get and keep an erection now is a life and attitude changer for me! A man has a penis but it so much more than a hanging appendage. It makes him a man! (my opinion) Don't suffer with ED. If there is no option, please consider getting an implant! Happy Thanksgiving!
Rev Donnie

[David_R]

One example of how connected we are with our penises is the fact that one euphemism for the penis is "manhood."

[PFracture]

One example of how connected we are with our penises is the fact that one euphemism for the penis is "manhood."

Indeed! I don't know how can you guys say you are OK with it. It destroyed my confidence in a way I never thought possible and the only hope I have is that the implant will somehow bring it back. When and if I go for it. I am a totally different person than I used to be.... Sometimes I wish so hard I could go back in time... If I just stayed home that night, instead of going out to have sex with that girl.... But no, that's not the way it is. And here I am 2 years later, without any sexual contact. At the peak of my youth...