Advice sought
Posted: Thu May 04, 2017 5:48 am
Hello everyone,
Some of you may remember me from a while back, others won't, obviously.
A bit of background:
Started noticing a decline in erection in the years following an instance of failure after a night out. Started obsessing over my erections, assessing constantly, every time I jerked off I would assess etc etc. Over the years my erections got poorer.
Got cancer at 26, now 33, beat it. But after had a Doppler - they said I had venous leak. Started taking cialis 20mg a pop. Worked a treat but became dependent quickly. Could still masturbate.
Not satisfied I sought another two independent specialist andrologist consults. Two more dopplers. Two great results, no venous leak.
So I have finally been convinced I have no physical problem. It's mental and I recognise that. But it's no less of a prison. I just broke up with my gf of 2 years and she understoood the problem and was cool with it but we broke for different reasons.
Now I feel the ultimate stress. I can barely masturbate I think about it all so much. I know the cialis works and I will often notice erections in my sleep which have actually been increasing in frequency since my intro of kegelling and higher water intake. But I cannot rid myself of the stress. And I just can't continue to live like this.
I feel like I can't approach a woman because what's the point, I'm not me and I feel like I'll never get off the drugs.
In my last relationship I had a handful of occasions where I was able to get on with things with no medication in me and had weaned down significantly on the cialis. But now I'm back at square minus 10000. I fear for my mental health.
Just one month ago I awoke with a killer boner, and it stayed while I stood, rock solid for a good 3 or 4 minutes after waking and becoming conscious of it, I even filmed it to remind myself it really happened and that physically, the plumbing is okay. Or so I hope!
But I just don't know what to do about this disorder I've built up over a decade now. Believing I can't get it up and keep it up. I define myself by my erections or lackthereof!
Does anyone have any good advice? I'm genuinely considering the implant. If not now, somewhere down the line.
Thank you all!
Some of you may remember me from a while back, others won't, obviously.
A bit of background:
Started noticing a decline in erection in the years following an instance of failure after a night out. Started obsessing over my erections, assessing constantly, every time I jerked off I would assess etc etc. Over the years my erections got poorer.
Got cancer at 26, now 33, beat it. But after had a Doppler - they said I had venous leak. Started taking cialis 20mg a pop. Worked a treat but became dependent quickly. Could still masturbate.
Not satisfied I sought another two independent specialist andrologist consults. Two more dopplers. Two great results, no venous leak.
So I have finally been convinced I have no physical problem. It's mental and I recognise that. But it's no less of a prison. I just broke up with my gf of 2 years and she understoood the problem and was cool with it but we broke for different reasons.
Now I feel the ultimate stress. I can barely masturbate I think about it all so much. I know the cialis works and I will often notice erections in my sleep which have actually been increasing in frequency since my intro of kegelling and higher water intake. But I cannot rid myself of the stress. And I just can't continue to live like this.
I feel like I can't approach a woman because what's the point, I'm not me and I feel like I'll never get off the drugs.
In my last relationship I had a handful of occasions where I was able to get on with things with no medication in me and had weaned down significantly on the cialis. But now I'm back at square minus 10000. I fear for my mental health.
Just one month ago I awoke with a killer boner, and it stayed while I stood, rock solid for a good 3 or 4 minutes after waking and becoming conscious of it, I even filmed it to remind myself it really happened and that physically, the plumbing is okay. Or so I hope!
But I just don't know what to do about this disorder I've built up over a decade now. Believing I can't get it up and keep it up. I define myself by my erections or lackthereof!
Does anyone have any good advice? I'm genuinely considering the implant. If not now, somewhere down the line.
Thank you all!
